Typically, I try to remind myself every night before I go to bed about 3 things I'm grateful for. They can be small, they can be large, or pretty much everything from 'Holy Shit, glad that bus didn't hit me when I wandered into the street' to 'that hangnail finally seems to be going away, now I can wear my pretty shoes!' The reason I do this is because by about noon every day I have a list of 398 things that I'm ungrateful for. Focus: Your ingratitudes. Funny or otherwise. Think of this as the Fall version of Festivus. I'm really trying to get in the spirit this year.
I'm ungrateful for my cat throwing up on my dress shoes before I had to leave work this morning. I'm also ungrateful for spazzing out in my sleep last night and kicking my dresser, nearly breaking my big toe. Bump.
I am ungrateful for the mouth breathers that inhabit this world that cannot wrap their minds around how to operate a motor vehicle with any amount of common sense or decency.
I am ungrateful for my single female hot clients who refuse to be naked 'by accident' when I come over. This is not far fetched. Two of the guys that work with me have walked in on naked women clients. If anyone needs to do that, it's me.
I am ungrateful for my community college classmates. I've been so sheltered; I never knew that a very large percentage of the population is completely incapable of writing anything close to coherent. There's a goddamn group project coming up, and I'm probably going to have at least 25 rage-induced brain hemorrhages when I have to deal with these retards.
I'm ungrateful for the 300ish Chinese ladybugs that I killed today. I'm not posting a picture. Those things suck.
I am ungrateful for parking Nazis. No I did not park in the lot when it was closed. If it were closed there'd be a gate I'd have to get off to park there. Fucking asshole. Not to mention the ticket is somehow $50, what the fuck. I am ungrateful for their contributions to keeping parking lots,..., well they don't really have any beneficial effect.
I am ungrateful that there are people like Ray Comfort and Ken Ham in this world and that they are of my own species.
I am ungrateful that my boss was so stressed out about the family emergency that caused me to call out of two days of work that he developed a migraine headache and missed four days of work.
I'm ungrateful for my boss who, after 4 months on this job, still gives me a limp wet handshake every morning to "greet" me, who, "on my behalf", tells the customer service girls that they're being too loud for me to concentrate (even though that couldn't be farther from the truth), who still makes every conversation feel like an awkward first date, who insists on telling me about everyone he knows who has died in the last 5 years, who feels compelled to print out emails he has written to me just so he can bring them to my desk and read them to me, who doesn't actually know very much about the industry he has been "an expert" in for a decade, and who refuses to acknowledge that his lack of experience and understanding of the regulations has resulted in numerous errors made across the company. Oh, and he mocks my Star Wars toys. Fuck him.
I'm ungrateful such a fuck-stick exists. Angel's boss needs this advice. Furthermore, I'm ungrateful that we have a campaign going on in this country to Stomp Out Bullying! And yet, bullying exists fucking everywhere. It's a never-ending part of the human condition. People still bully, troll, torment, make fun of and laugh cruelly at each other, and still some idiots got together to make a campaign to rid it from existence?
I'm ungrateful that social media has given anti-vaccine, anti-GMO and just generally anti-scary science people a platform to reach thousands. I'm at the point that I'd happily do away with social media everywhere if I didn't have to hear "I don't care what scientists say I do my own research and..." ever again. Fuck you.
Anti-GMO, Anti-Vaccine and general psuedoscience makes me ungrateful humans have such a big brain to just fill with nonsense.
You just can't accept that chemtrails are real an autism can be cured with love. I have the documents. That pretty much is what frustrates me the most. You don't get to say scientists are wrong. They are the geniuses with the PHD's who cured polio and harnessed electricity. When they say "Too much exposure to UV will fuck up your flesh" your response shouldn't be "Don't be hatin' cos I'm so tan, brah." I am ungrateful I have to share the same air as those dicktrees.
Clickbait headlines make it the most annoying trend ever. "I thought my baby was safe. Until I saw this." "Baby gets shots, you won't believe his reaction!"
Awwwww yeah son. "Sitting or Standing: which is worse?" "Toothpaste: silent but deadly" "How blinking will kill you" And my recent fave: "Skinny pill/Steroid substitute taking America by storm!!!"
I'm ungrateful people don't get why kids aren't allowed in a typical dog park. Dogs are powerful predators, they have sharp teeth and are still genetically, despite roughly 30,000 years of living with humans are wolves, and you want to have your kids run around with some who are possibly going to tear them apart? Even a small dog, even a playful dog, they can cause some pain or damage. I'm by no means vilifying dogs, but as a dog-lover, I don't want to see another fatality or bite statistic. http://blog.dogsbite.org/2013/09/20...ar-old-alaska-boy-mauled-to-death-by-dog.html I was in Kotzebue when this happened. The dog in question who started the attack was an abused and starved animal, a husky owned by an angry old drunk. The victim was a kid banished by his parents from his house at 9:00 PM so they could have a party. The kid died literally a stone's throw away from house, and I got to see a glimpse of the corpse. It was eaten on.
I am ungrateful for dog owners who treat their pets as narcissistic extensions of themselves, shitting where they want and walking on manicured grass/flowers they're not supposed to walk on. Follow the rules assholes, and pick up your dog shit.