Midgley was an unfortunate and accidental piece of shit. Thanks to leaded fuels people now-a-days have 625% more lead in their bodies than the people a century ago did. And one pound of CFC's can annihilate seventy thousand pounds of atmospheric ozone. Thanks Thomas Midgley!
How did I forget this: http://abcircle.com/ in my earlier post? I'm certainly no fitness expert, but I'm a pretty knowledgable layman. Isn't this, like, the most useless piece of exercise equipement ever invented? Aside from the fact that nothing that can be set up in 5 minutes and stored under your bed is ever going to make you lose weight, doesn't the motion of this thing work your obliques, thus making your waist wider? And isn't it a phenomenal way to wrench your back? I do think the 'split' feature has its merits, though. Any budding porn stars or prostitutes would benefit greatly from that exercise.
1 coat ceiling paint. The name implies that 1 coat will be sufficient, this is where my problems start and end with this shit. 1 coat ceiling paint actually means "2 coats if you’re lucky, but probably 3 which will piss you off because you only bought enough to apply 1 coat and I happen to be the most expensive ceiling paint available and you just used me as an undercoat you dopey motherfucker". I would like to mainline 100ml of one coat into the CEO of Dulux while making him fellate a high-speed spade-bit.
Definitely the flavored or edible underwear. I can't think of anything less sexy, and more disgusting, than the faint latex-y flavor of that shitty edible underwear. It haunts me to this day; how could you even pretend to look sexy when you have to uncomfortably and squeamishly put on stale edible underwear and then have your partner force himself to lick it/bite it? The grimace on MY face was bad enough, but she looked ridiculous. We didn't even end up having sex, it was so bad.
Virtual Reality. Wave of the future, huh? Coming soon to an out-of-the-way-carnival not quite near you.
Hey jackass, ever heard of Cowboys and Indians? Cops and Robbers? I didn't really wanna be any of those roles but the games were fun to play. Don't call those who play it schmucks without even playing the game, it makes you look like the schmuck. Ballsack.
Oy gevalt, I'm all ferblunjit. Does anybody else's schvantz schvitz when they schtup a shtunk? I'd rather shmooze with a schmegegge, or schlep a sack of smegma to the shtetl than listen to this tummel any longer, I would. Focus
Maybe I just suck at rock band, but I got better at real guitar faster than I got better at rock band/guitar hero. ...stupid blue button.
Not to mention that Mr. Foreman forgot to give us a FUCKING ON/OFF SWITCH. My roommate and I constantly forget to unplug the thing and come home to the smoke alarm blaring in our sauna of a kitchen. It may knock out the fat, but it also knocks out the flavor and eventually my god damn security deposit. Focus: The Bumpit. All the sorority girls around here wear them to class. Apparently the 1960's country singer look is in right now.
How many panties do you think have dropped for some guy playing with a bunch of colored buttons and a flippy switch in his friend's basement? Real guitar wins. Sorry. Focus: Salad spinners: get your lettuce less damp
I have to disagree with you here. Now, salad spinners may not be useful in your home, but when you have three or four cases of Romaine lettuce delivered to you straight from the fields needing to be washed, cut, and served they are a godsend.
Spray on hair.... Seriously, what planet was this created on? Who would think of putting synthetic hair in a tube? Who in their right mind would use it in lieu of wearing a cap or just shaving their head?
Boo hoo, Faggle Rock. Clearly you've never smelled the exhaust of a highly tuned 2-stroke race machine on a crisp Sunday morning. If you had you would be using your muscles to turn a wrench and muscle a high performance car around a manly race track. Then you'd use the same 110 octane leaded fuel to wash the grease off your calloused hands so you could eat a greasy half pound track burger.....but you wouldn't know anything about that because your muscles are for hugging......fag.