is that a single fucking peanut! GET THAT AWAY FROM ME

Alt. Focus:
Pears. I'll eat one, and then it turns into jet fuel flying through my system at 1200mph and rockets out of me no more than 5 minutes later. It's truly incredible how fast it happens.

Fresh pears, pears that come from a can (that were put there by a man...in a factory dowwnnnnntowwwwnnnn*), doesn't matter. They all destroy me.

*Peaches, I know

 

I am very very allergic to Penicillin. First time I took it I nearly died.

A couple of years later my dad took me to the doctor when I had an ear infection. My ever vigilant father neglected to mention that I was allergic to Penicillin to the doctor. So the doctor naturally prescribed the good ol panacea.

My dad picked up the medicine, took me home, and was about to give me the medicine when my mom grabbed it out of his hand, and looked at it, and lay into him for not looking at it carefully.

Alt Focus: Panda Express. That shit flies out of me within an hour. My record was 32 minutes.

 

I have no allergies whatsoever. There's no bubble for this boy.

Alt-Focus:
Raisins. Get one within ten feet of me and I'll throw up all the food I've ate since birth. They are disgusting, dried up, Satanic mouse turds and everybody should hate them as much as I do.

 

I am allergic to aspirin. I get all swole up in the face. The last time I took an aspirin I was probably 6 and my dad must have given me a children's aspirin, I was in the car with him, started having trouble breathing, felt my neck swelling and I just turned to him and said, "you gave me aspirin!" He just looked at me and said, oh, shit. I may or may not have looked like Linda Blair from the Exorcist at that time.

I also seem to have some allergy to delicious things like bananas and plums. They make the inside of my mouth itch like mad, but I eat them anyway - I mean, bananas? They are nature's perfect food!

 

I never had allergies until I was about 23, then it just felt like I got a cold that never seemed to go away. I finally went to see the doctor and it turns out I have such bad allergies that my sinuses are completely full of nasal polyps. I had one procedure done to clear them but they came back a couple weeks later. So now here I am at 26 and can't smell, but at least I can breath through my nose so I won't spend the money to try it again.

 

Wasps. I'm not deathly allergic, but one tiny little wasp sting makes me swell up like crazy. When I was 8 or 9 I got stung on the forearm and my entire arm was swollen from my wrist to my shoulder. Not a great way to spend the Fourth of July.

 

So how do you practice safe sex? I know you're an Aints fan, do you paper bag it or run the risk of having pepperoni pizza crotch for some punanny?

Focus: Milk. It almost caused me to diarrhea myself to death as an infant. Nowadays depending on how much of it I consume it's on par with a night at 2am Taco Bell eating.

 

Cats.

I actually own a cat but I make sure that cat hair and dander does not sit around for long. Since I also own two dogs, I vacuum the house at least every two days. It helps that both my wife and I are clean freaks.

If you get me in a room with multiple cats running and jumping around, my eyes start to swell shut and I start to breathe like a kid in fat camp running up a hill.

It actually came in handy in my single days. Since most crazy women are cat owners, it made for a great excuse to bolt at 3am.

Also, I don't know if it counts but if I start at a light source for more then 5 seconds I'll start to sneeze every 20 seconds for the next 2 minutes.

 

Alcohol. I break out in stupid.

 

On a sidenote, my sister is allergic to everything. A slight exaggeration, but when they did the dot tests, they had to stop during some of them because she had such a bad reaction.

She got the definitive list when she was in 9th grade. It was 15 pages long of everything she was allergic to. Nearly every kind of tree in the US, most grasses, various metals, cats, dogs, rats, birds, other people. She had to get allergy shots 3 times a week.

She once got her ears pierced, and they used a shitty metal in the earring that she was allergic to. Her ears swelled up and swallowed the earrings, and were infected something awful. She had to get the earrings removed surgically.

 

Fun fact: a significant proportion (i.e. a majority) of people who think they have a drug allergy don't actually have one. This is due to two reasons:

1. Nobody knows what an actual allergic reaction is. Diarrhea/constipation/upset stomach is a standard side effect, not an allergy.
2. Most people outgrow the allergy, but on account of never having been tested, assume they are still allergic.

Pain in the ass because if you're allergic to one thing, cross-reactivity might pop up and blah blah blah. Also, if you take amoxicillin when you have mono you get a rash that looks like an allergic reaction but isn't.

Nope. You can only develop an allergic reaction after first having been exposed to whatever it is you're allergic to. A lot of people with bee allergies only developed the hives/anaphylaxis/whatever on their second sting. Asthma is a different issue, though; asthmatics tend to have more allergies (of the sneezing-runny nose - itchiness type), but there are people who have anaphylactic reactions to beestings who don't have asthma and asthmatics who don't react to beestings.

Just to be completely joyless, they do make condoms out of stuff other than latex. Polyurethane, sheepskin, and I see ads out nowadays for a new non-latex condom. Also, these condoms are thinner and, reports say, feel better, but sheepskin condoms won't protect against STDs. I tried polyurethane condoms once. They cost 2x as much as latex and they were noticeably smaller than latex condoms. Couldn't even fit it on. What a ripoff.

Back on topic: I don't have any allergies other than hayfever. Loratidine takes care of it. Also, while not an allergy, I can no longer eat Subway. Their bread is such shitty quality that my body rejects it and my gut flora digest it, so lots of nasty effects ensue.

EDIT: Hold on, I found some more fun to suck up:

I'm not going to accuse you of not actually being allergic to aspirin, but it's not too much to point out that we've since learned not to give aspirin to kids. I guess people were tougher back then. Nobody cared about getting Reye's syndrome.

 

My husband has been telling me that he is allergic to bee and wasp stings for years. So this means that if they are buzzing about, I'll be the one trimming the bushes, turning off the sprinkler, bringing in the trashcan, whatever. So I mentioned this to his mother one day and she informs me that he has never been stung by a wasp or a bee. His logic, well, he COULD be allergic, he doesn't want to find out the hard way. So instead he sends his wife out there. This story is not exactly on topic, but just reveals that I married a fucking pansy.

 

I cant believe I am going to say this on this board, but i am allergic to ... alcohol. And before the jokes start coming "what you get drunk from it?". My face goes extremely red, my chest breaks out in hives, and it feels like i am getting stabbed in the gut with a knife. Yes i have gotten drunk, but for me to get drunk i have to drink alot very quickly, to get passed the pain. It is just not worth it for me to drink, it saves me alot of money and i get to be every ones favorite dd.

 

I clearly didn't say that you or kuhjager didn't have a legitimate allergic reaction. Everyone who thinks that a sore stomach from azithromycin, or constipation from codeine, or whatever else, certainly didn't.

For that matter, psychosomatic allergies are a real phenomenon. The nocebo effect is just as neat as the placebo effect.

 

The same thing happens to me too. It's even worse with apples. If I eat a piece of raw apple my mouth itches like a motherfucker. The last time I ate one, my throat started to become really irritated to the point where it was affecting my breathing. I looked up apple allergies online and it is caused by what is called Oral Allergy Syndromehttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oral_allergy_syndrome. What's weird too is I get an allergy attack when I peel potatoes. Seems it's related to OAS too. I'm 27 and this only started happening within the last three years or so.

 

Ah, if only I had known this two summers ago. I pushed a lawn mower over a hornet nest and felt like I was going to die. Yay for epi-pens! I thought they were some weird science-fiction cross-breed of killer insects or something, because I remembered having been stung before and it not being a big deal. Boo you, ghettoastronaut-- I like my conspiracy theory involving government-bred assassination hornets much better than your medical facts.

Focus: Mango. Can't eat it, can't rub up against the tree bark, can't get splashed with the juice. I've actually been medically confirmed as being highly allergic to this. Even though it smells all kinds of delicious and the smell tempts me in ways that mango-eaters cannot imagine, I have to stay far away.