I held my V-card till I was 28. It really fucked with my head too and that in turn made my first time pretty much embarassing as hell for me.
As far as I know, everyone I knew as a teenager had tennis elbow yet hated that sport. There has never been a "revolution", just masturbation. The only difference was that back in the day a lot more poeple were convinced shaking hands with the man made Baby Jesus cry. The first time you tried it, you couldn't believe it didn't cost money. Without it, we might as well throw ourselves into the fucking sea. And take that back about Madonna. I have NEVER found her attractive. I liked the guitar player from The Bangles Suzanna Hoffs. Rowr: Spoiler
I did all sorts of fucked up shit to my girlfriends when I was younger. Too many to list here, but you know the one I feel worst about was the time me, my girl, and her friend went to the dance club. My girl and I we grinding pretty hard, when the friend starts backing up to her. I've got my arms around my girl but eventually my hands were on her friend's hips. Next thing I know I'm slipping my hands down her pants. And then I'm knuckle deep inside of her, while my girlfriend is dancing up on me and looking deep into my eyes (She was a hopeless romantic). All the while, I'm fingerbanging her best friend right behind her. If my girl would have turned her head a quarter inch she would have known what I was doing. And GOD, she would have kicked my ass. Good thing I've got really long arms, and breathtaking eyes.
I went bareback with two different chicks within 12 hours. First one didn't know about the second but the second knew about the first and they both met each other the previous day. Focus: I said the L-word and didn't mean it; I just said it because I thought that's how things went with long term relationships and I also thought I wouldn't meet another woman (little did I know). Not surprising that that relationship didn't work out.
Done it. First one knew the second one was coming later, second one had no idea about the first. In some ways, it was the best day ever. In others (many others) it was simply a time when I let my dick run the show and my brain just stood on the sidelines and laughed, knowing what would happen in the future. Focus: I felt up my mom's friend's fake tits after she got them done. She was a hot, recently divorced, emotional train-wreck of a woman who was craving validation from any possible source. About 6 weeks after she had gotten them done, she had a party at her new house and was giving people the tour. I was walking around, checking things out, when she saw me and decided to give me a private tour of the upstairs. She showed me her daughter's rooms and closets and stuff, and saved her bedroom for last. Upon entering, she quickly shut the door behind me and thoughts of "...and here's to you, Mrs. Robinson" flashed through my head, not knowing what the hell was next. While not verbatim, she said to me, "I'm sure you've heard I just got my boobs done, but I've only gotten feedback from women and I need to know what a young man thinks." Then, she opened her shirt, took off her bra, grabbed my hands and cupped them onto her breasts. "Go ahead, feel around. I wanna know if they're good." They were. They were awesome, and I told her. After probably a good two minutes of me playing with her tits, tweaking the nips and really giving them a good test drive, she seemed satisfied and gently backed away and put her shirt back on. Once fully-clothed, she said "thanks, sweetie", kissed me on the cheek, grabbed my hand, and showed me the newly-redone hallway bathroom as if nothing had ever happened. Flash forward to another family friend's party about two years later and she was there, still single, and lit on about 2 bottles of wine. We ended up on the deck alone at one point in the night talking about college or something and she said, "You remember that time you felt my tits right after I had them done?" I told her that of course I remembered, and again complimented her on how great they were. At this point, she leans in really close and says, "If it weren't for the fact that your mother was in the house that night, I would've fucked you right there on my bed." She then leans up, comes ever so close to my face and gives me a tormentingly light kiss on the lips, backs away with her hand dangling on my cheek, and goes inside. Haven't seen her since. So, in short: fuck you, mom.
After she shaved her gigantor bush and before she turned into a craggly 50 something muscle sack she was actually pretty fucking hot naked: NSFW NSFW NSFW
With the 2 in 24, I at least had a shower and the second guy wore a condom. That's okay, right? Right?
It is what it is... there wasn't a condom available. So we drunkenly did the logical thing and fucked anyway.
Plan B is great until you're expected to pay for it. $50 is minuscule in comparison to paying for a new kid or even an abortion for that matter, but on a college budget it can ruin a week or two of spending. If you're a girl in college, I expect you to be on the pill, Nuva Ring, shot, whatever. No excuses. I almost always wear a condom (even with girls I know or have been fucking for awhile) and if you're not doing your part and I happen to break a condom or cream pie you, I have no sympathy when you come calling about not having the money to pay for Plan B. Ladies, red dot away. I'm still bitter about last Halloween.
1. Hooked up with my sister's roommate a few times while they still lived in the same house. 2. Hooked up with my 3 of my sister's lacrosse teammates at different times. None were those gargantuan amazon women, all were small, thin, and freaky. 3. Hooked up with one of my very good friends and 2 year roommates ex girls a year later (not too bad, but he never found out). 4. I've also been the 'other guy' with a few girls in relationships. Feel kinda bad, but whatever. I'm a terrible person.
While I don't have anything too exciting, I'll just recycle my friend's old story. His first time. In his parents bed. Using his dad's condom. In his dad's robe. While she was in his mom's robe. There's probably nothing to read into that.
My first "older woman" was a friend of my sister. I was 19 and she was 35. She was super excited and wet. I went down on her and she stopped me after like a minute because she was going to cum. Then I had trouble getting the condom on -- it just wouldn't unroll for some reason. I've never had that happen before or ever since that day. Anyway, she got real impatient and said "I should be OK, just fuck me." I was so horny I didn't care. We tried missionary but it just didn't work right, I can't explain it. Then she rolled me on my back, climbed on top and fucked my brains out. She came so fast that for the longest time, I thought all older women came that quickly. We never had sex again because she didn't want it to get "weird" between us. Being 19, I didn't care and kept pushing with no success. Oddly enough, I'm now married to my sister's best friend (different person than the one I mention above).
I can't help but comment on one a few back about doubting ladies douched between partners.... you know, that only ensures that the dirty old nut is just getting pushed further back in there and more likely to seep down later, during the next deed, right? Ok then... Do having threesomes with your ex and his best friend count for the two cocks? Because if so sign me up for being a dirty whore. My ex-boyfriend Nick and one of his band mates (trust me, their terrible musicians) Jonny and I all have a very interested threesome... it turns out whiskey dick is really bad for you men when in an already awkward threesome involving another dick. Nick went nuts when I was sucking Jonny's dick but Jonny looked at Nick for the tiniest second and kept losing it... it was lame, and not worth it. Jonny could only cum to oral because he had a "Nick's been in there" complex about my pussy, which made ZERO sense, as Nick had been in my mouth that night too... drunk retards.