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3/28/14 WDT NSFW

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by shegirl, Mar 28, 2014.

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  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    You have to love Urban Dictionary's definitions for "Message Board":

    My fave:

     
    #61 Crown Royal, Mar 28, 2014
  2. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Weddings are crazy. The Husband and I got married at the ballpark in the middle of the third inning during a home game against the Twins. We were back in our seats and buying more beer before the 4th inning started.
     
    #62 shimmered, Mar 28, 2014
  3. happyfunball

    happyfunball
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    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

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    Re: I wish I were at that beach

    You're right. Who cares about open mouths?

    [​IMG][​IMG]

    Who cares if they even have faces?? (this picture is yummy)
    [​IMG]

    I might be interested in rugby if this were their uniform:
    [​IMG]

    Hey not my fault if you clicked the second or third spoiler. You had to know where this was going.
     
    #63 happyfunball, Mar 28, 2014
  4. CharlesJohnson

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    So, did he give you free coke? I mean it's your wedding day. I'm not sure how good it is to start your married life off by doing a mutual line like LAdy and the Tramp eating spaghetti.

    Come to think of it, why do I not have a dealer? I'm a reasonably attractive, virile young man in South Florida. I should have been issued one when I turned 18. Someone needs to start up a my market place like Obamacare for coke and E dealers. "Is Rayfon on your plan? I specifically got the Snow Plan so I could keep my existing dealer."
     
    #64 CharlesJohnson, Mar 28, 2014
  5. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: 3/28/14 WDT NSFW

    Drinking in the parking lot of your wedding and then in the grooms room is a time honored tradition where I am from.

    I mentioned this traditional drinking ceremony to my southern Baptist wife to be and she looked at me like I had grown a dick on my forehead. Apparently that traditional ceremony never made it to the south.

    My brother in law got drunk and forgot he took some form of opiate, so that was funny shit when his straight laced dad was trying to figure out what was wrong with him. Food poisoning? How fucking naive that family is, I walked around with a bottle of Scotch meeting my new family, they all left immediately after dinner. At 8pm.

    I could have given less of a fuck.
     
    #65 Flat_Rate, Mar 28, 2014
  6. Juice

    Juice
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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    #66 Juice, Mar 28, 2014
  7. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    I wrote our entire wedding ceremony. And not just the vows, I mean the entire thing, word-for-word. I did that two days before, because I'll be damned if some stupid priest is gonna bore the shit outta the wedding party I paid to be there (via the reception). Once all was said and done, I was shocked how many jokes I managed to fit in there. It was glorious; like a roast of everyone important to my wife and I, except it was disguised as something romantic and everyone went "aww" at the end.

    My step father and I hand-built the arbor my wife and I got married under and my parents and I were at the local nursery gathering the flowers and shrubbery for the area literally hours before the ceremony. The lady who married us had worked with me for a good number of years and shared pulls from my flask before the wedding because she was stage fright and also just recently got divorced and was trying to hide the pain.

    Control freak? A little. But at least I made sure it didn't suck.
     
    #67 Revengeofthenerds, Mar 28, 2014
  8. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Bravo. You also ensured it was invalid.
     
    #68 Angel_1756, Mar 28, 2014
  9. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Don't get a dealer, BE a dealer. Aren't you between Ft Lawdy and Miami? Those are the two Go-Fast depots for the cocaine dropped off in those islands east of there. You are in the epicentre of StraightCashHomeyville. What else do you have to do there except polish a gun and decide which townsfolk to murder first?

    $50,000 for a day's work from what I hear to go all Miami Vice. Of course, you can also get thrown in jail for a quarter of a century. Risk vs. Reward. Hell, your country alone consumes more than 60% of the world's blow.

    GO-FAST BRO
     
    #69 Crown Royal, Mar 28, 2014
  10. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
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    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

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    No, I'm an ordained minister. Never mind that I'm an athiest; I'm legitimately ordained, with a framed plaque and registration in my local county and everything.

    Because yay Internet!!!
     
    #70 Revengeofthenerds, Mar 28, 2014
  11. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Your religion or lack thereof isn't what did it. Your officiant (and you) tipping it back before signing your marriage license is what did it. Technically.
     
    #71 Angel_1756, Mar 28, 2014
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    That's the law here. Any innebriation before your vows voids your marriage contract.

    However being smashed off your ass in front of an Elvis impersonator... Totally legit.
     
    #72 Crown Royal, Mar 28, 2014
  13. Revengeofthenerds

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    So theoretically, because I was a little drunk before my wedding, and so was the minister, I don't have to give her half if we ever divorce?

    (Though honestly, I did the proverbial 'out-kick your coverage' thing... Though I took on her emotional baggage in exchange, and that's another story.)
     
    #73 Revengeofthenerds, Mar 28, 2014
  14. Cult

    Cult
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    [​IMG]
     
    #74 Cult, Mar 28, 2014
  15. FreeCorps

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    #1 Internet Boo

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    #75 FreeCorps, Mar 29, 2014
  16. Coke Bottle Casualty

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    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    #76 Coke Bottle Casualty, Mar 29, 2014
  17. Clutch

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    A wild animal watched me masturbate today. Get on my level.
     
    #77 Clutch, Mar 29, 2014
  18. Kubla Kahn

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    Everyone masturbates in front of their cats. Except me, because cats are crazy and I refuse to own wild animals.
     
    #78 Kubla Kahn, Mar 29, 2014
  19. Danger Boy

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    #79 Danger Boy, Mar 29, 2014
  20. Juice

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    *Somebody* needs to stop eating so many Sour Patch Kids.
     
    #80 Juice, Mar 29, 2014
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