Rant: How To Be A Retard - 101 1. Fail to notice that your car's registration is expired 2. Get pulled over by the cops, ticketed, and have your car towed to some random garage 3. Have your grandma come pick you up and lecture you on paying your bills (which had nothing to do with it) and have her insist you take her antique bill holder thing so you can keep organized 4. Find out the DMV is closed on Mondays, so you cant even find out what to do next even though you have to go to work but cant anyway 5. Find out that the DMV doesnt do in-person registration renewals and it all must be done by the regular mail, taking up to 15 days to complete 6. Find out that proper emission inspections must be completed before a registration renewal, but you know you car is going to fail emissions because you never got the O2 sensor replaced 7. Dont have any money in your account because you just spent it all on vacation Good. Motherfucking. Times.
Rave: date on Saturday went well, although said girl went skydiving on Sunday and isn't in the office today, so she may actually be dead. Still, beggars, choosers, and all that. Double Rave: Went out after the date for serious drinking. Housemate was blitzed and talking to a female bartender (at a food court - we keep it classy) when I rocked up. 10 minutes later, he is sitting behind the bar pouring his own drinks, and this girl is totally star struck. Stammering while talking to him, making sure he was getting a good look down her top, etc. Unfortunately for him (and probably me, since we live in the same house), bartender chick was rocking some serious 'I cut myself so I can feel something' scars to go with her facial piercings and two-tone hair, so I imagine she is well adjusted. Triple Rave: Just remembered pushing said house mate off a bench so that I could escape the 45 year old, mother of 2, H fiend that was groping my ass at a supposedly upscale bar. Then, I spent the half hour train ride home taking the piss out 2 emo kids that were trying and failing to hit on two beautiful Brazilian girls. I got some laughs, but to my shock, the girls didn't come home with me either. It's almost as if drunken strangers going on sarcastic tirades at people doesn't drop the panties; turns out that's what I've been doing wrong all my life. Quadruple Rave: after seeing so many people here rave about them, I have started watching two new TV shows. Archer is indeed as hilarious as everyone has said, one of the very few shows that I actually laugh out loud while watching. And I'm only 2 episodes into The Wire, but that is also shaping up to be excellent!
Rant: Is facebook just a place for retards to tell me what they've done over the last two days like anyone gives a fuck? I still use it to PM people, but the days of sensibly posting on each other's walls to stay in touch is done. Maybe a lot of my old friends are just lame now. Rant: I'm ranting too much. Rave: Life is good, for the most part. Rave: Summer is pretty much over. Now that I'm in Florida that is a very good thing. Fuck 100 degree heat.
Rant: Fuck landlords who don't allow pets. My girlfriend has 2 indoor cats and because of this finding a property to rent has just become 50 times harder.
RAVE: There are numerous examples of Penis Graffiti/Art in Pompeii, Italy. Walk through the street ruins and its not difficult to find random pictures of dick on each street corner, shop front etc. This is in a city that was destroyed over 2000 years ago. With this in mind, I had to laugh at the Napoleon Bonaparte statue that I saw today in Bratislava, Slovakia, that was erected after he had invaded and destroyed the majority of the city. Whilst our tour guide told us it was because Slovakian people are extremely friendly and forgiving, I would just like to that, just like the residents of Pompeii, they shared a similar sense of humour to us today. I can't begin to imagine the countless amount of photos that people have taken giving it to Napoleon from behind.
Rave: I got the motherfucking job!. Even though I thought the interview went a bit shite, I must have impressed them enough. Though I'm more excited about getting my first paycheck and frittering it away on booze and gigs. Rant: No more lie ins, no more getting smashed on weekdays. Looks like I've got to start acting my age. Rave: money. lots of it.
ra..? Whichever one of you buttdarts called the whole The Guy/New Guy thing in the WDT should be ashamed of yourself for putting that juju on me. Things aren't problematic, but Jesus, that was a conversation I was NOT ready to have.
Rave: Heading out on a 6 week tour of Ontario. Rant: Living out of a suitcase for 6 weeks Rant: Creepy stalker Rave: Being a guy + having a stalker does not = rape!
Rant: My puppy has bronchitis. She's "congested and running a fever." I didn't know dogs could even get bronchitis! Ridiculous.
????: Ladies, if you're already tall, what the hell are you doing wearing super high heels? I'm not averse to being with a girl taller than me, but an extra 5" lift isn't going to help things.
Rant: My car was towed yesterday, and it cost me $130 to get it. I decided to visit a friend out east for the weekend. Since tolls were the same price as a Megabus ticket, I figured taking the bus would save me the $60 in gas. So on Friday I parked on a safe, main street in Pittsburgh and took the bus to Harrisburg. I forgot they were having a charity race/marathon thing Sunday morning, and they towed any cars parked along its route. Guess where I parked. Yep. Rave: Fun weekend. Rave: I saw The Misfits play on Saturday. Rant: No Danzig of course. Rave: Still entertaining, but in a more comical rather than punkrock kind of way. (Good lord they look old).
Rant: Spoiler Give me a fucking break. Rave: I'm not violently hung over like I was last Monday. Rave: Almost completely settled into the new basement workshop. I've got some shelves and lighting to install and have yet to cobble together a painting booth soon, but at that point I'll be lightyears ahead of my old place.
Rave/Rant: Holy Fucking God. I've been applying for the last few months to different PD's. I got a letter from one last night saying that I have to do the Physical Agility Test in 13 days(October 8th), This is BEFORE taking the written exam. I had a nasty sinus infection that hasn't allowed me to workout for over a month. The test consists of a 99 yard obstacle course, a chain link and brick wall climb, with a 5 yard running start, a 165 lb dummy drag for 32 feet, and a 500 yd sprint. I can't sleep and I have 11 days to try and prep for this as best I can. Talk about feeling unprepared. Fuck it, gonna abuse my body for a week and a half, then give it 100%. Still scared, deathly afraid exactly of failing.
Rant: Spent last night in the ER. Heart problems are no joke. Rave: They gave me drugs and a note to be out of work for three days and sent my ass home.
Rave:I love heels, despite my height. Mr. P loves me in heels, even if I am taller than him. They make my legs feel good and according to him my legs also look good in them... there ya go, Frank. I don't imagine many LARPers wear heels.
Rant: You had no idea? Fuck that, I know you're not that fucking obtuse. If I was Wayne Brady I'd be choking a bitch right now.
We'll see. I hope so. I have not been dishonest with either of them...I've made clear to both of them what I think and how I feel. After that...we're all grownups. The cut and dry thing to do is to tell The Guy to piss up a rope, and to call me when he has on his bigboy pants. That's much more easily typed than done. Rave: I love coaching a lunch time class. It's not yet hot, and they're awake. Sweet.
Woo! My wife has started working at Tufts which means that she gets to take soem free classes and I can take one class per semester gratis. The only problem is figuring out what. They don't have an MBA program so I decided to look at maybe anothe rundergrad degree. Downside is that, for example, the engineering psychology major is 15 courses which is about 8 years at this rate. But, hey, free class is free class and maybe some stuff from my undergrad will transfer or it'll just be interesting in its own right. Good stuff.
Rave: Post-workout swoll. I know that's not an actual word, but it's the only one that captures how proud I am of myself for being active again.