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Holiday Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Dec 6, 2013.

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  1. shimmered

    shimmered
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    Peed on a stick this morning.


    Two blue lines.


    Freaked out.

    Bought two more, different types of sticks.

    Peed on one of them.

    Two pink lines.


    Freaked out.

    Peed on the other one.
    It blinked for awhile then said:
    YES+



    So. There's that. Merry Christmas.
     
    #1161 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  2. shimmered

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    I mean, if you do it three times, you can't fuck it up right?
    Three false positives is highly unlikely, right?



    Because daaaaaaaaaamn.
     
    #1162 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  3. Coke Bottle Casualty

    Coke Bottle Casualty
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    <a class="postlink" href="http://voices.yahoo.com/false-pregnancy-test-results-common-they-and-6060252.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://voices.yahoo.com/false-pregnancy ... 60252.html</a>

     
    #1163 Coke Bottle Casualty, Dec 18, 2013
  4. shimmered

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    Maybe I have cancer or an ovarian cyst.
     
    #1164 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  5. Coke Bottle Casualty

    Coke Bottle Casualty
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    Congratulations!
     
    #1165 Coke Bottle Casualty, Dec 18, 2013
  6. shimmered

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    Heh. Thanks?

    I'm...still...stunned...outofmygoddamnedmind.


    So. Yay? Of course, The Husband has already left for Maryland, so I texted him and asked if I could call our unborn child Cletus the Fetus.
     
    #1166 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  7. toddamus

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    Do you want a kid? Or is it more of a happy accident?
     
    #1167 toddamus, Dec 18, 2013
  8. downndirty

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    Did....did this just happen? Did someone brag about driving....a Jetta?



    You pansies and your four wheels.
     
    #1168 downndirty, Dec 18, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  9. Popped Cherries

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    I think your kid might be bullied with a name like Ovarian Cyst. I could be wrong though.
     
    #1169 Popped Cherries, Dec 18, 2013
  10. downndirty

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    Both of those are adorable names for a little girl. For a boy, you might try "Succubus" or "Beelzebub." Y'know, just going by your post history.
     
    #1170 downndirty, Dec 18, 2013
  11. shimmered

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    Very happy accident.


    Is beezelbub Jewish enough?

    For a girl we could do Lilith...
     
    #1171 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  12. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    My wife got pissed because I kept calling the kid Dracula for the short time she was knocked up. Either that or Joe Kickass, I told strangers that's what her first name would be regardless of sex. You wanna see a woman roll her eyes into next week..
     
    #1172 Crown Royal, Dec 18, 2013
  13. toddamus

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    Maybe you could name her Chastity, I've always thought that was a nice name.
     
    #1173 toddamus, Dec 18, 2013
  14. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Or Trixie, Crystal, Trishelle, Lacey, or other various names for juke joint jezebels.
     
    #1174 Crown Royal, Dec 18, 2013
  15. The Village Idiot

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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    And while you're at it, just buy her a thong and some heels. With a name like 'Chastity' she's destined for the pole.
     
    #1175 The Village Idiot, Dec 18, 2013
  16. shimmered

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    How bout you send some thoughts that the Y sperm made landing instead?
     
    #1176 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  17. toddamus

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    If its a boy you could name him Eugene, Brock, or Terry. All great names. And don't forget Rudolph too, a classic. You could call him Rudy for short.
     
    #1177 toddamus, Dec 18, 2013
  18. shimmered

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    Better than Quentin or norvelle.
     
    #1178 shimmered, Dec 18, 2013
  19. Revengeofthenerds

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    False negatives are fairly common. False positives almost never happen.

    I like the names Ja'Quinda, Kwondaminton, Jay'mitton, Shaniqwyaaa, La'Quinta and Welfare.

    Good variety, don't you think?
     
    #1179 Revengeofthenerds, Dec 18, 2013
  20. bewildered

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    Damn, I thought swallowing was foolproof.
     
    #1180 bewildered, Dec 18, 2013
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