Its that time of week once again- time to have a couple more toddies than is really good for you, then go in front of a bunch of strangers and have insightful conversations about whether or not vaginas really do have to ability to 1) become self aware, and 2) whether or not self awareness is a prerequisite for something to grow teeth. I don't really know what it is that I just said, but I have a feeling that in a couple of hours, I'll reach enlightenment. I'm heading to the deer camp with a case of beer, a handle of bourbon, and enough milk punch mix to last me till.... tomorrow maybe.
Oh god I can't wait to get off work. Turned in my last final yesterday, and proceeded to get blitzed while sitting in class. We had to write a ten page paper about the Mondavi family. My teacher wanted to have a potluck when everybody turned their paper in, and since the Mondavi's make wine, she thought it was a good idea to bring in 24 bottles of Mondavi wine for the potluck. So naturally, I started just downing glass after glass till I am legitimately drunk, while the rest of the class was just kind of staring at me nervously. I pretty much hadn't said a word to anybody in that class all semester, but by the end of class yesterday, I was walking around having amazing conversations with everybody in the class. I'm surprised they didn't try give me an intervention by the end of the period. Definitely a great way to end the hardest semester of my life, and that celebration is going to continue as soon as I leave work. There is an unopened case of beer just waiting for me at home. And since I don't feel like spending money and going out to the bars tonight, I see a long night of drinking, and playing Nintendo 64 in my future (Nobody can convince me that The Legend of Zelda isn't the greatest video game of all time.)
I don't think anyone really wants to try. Today has been one of the longest days at work ever. The company catered BBQ for lunch and proceeded to eat two heaping plates full of brisket and pork. Needless to say I have been fighting to keep my eyes open ever since. 30 minutes to go... I wasn't really planning on doing any drinking tonight. We are going out for my roommates birthday tomorrow night, and I went a little overboard last Saturday on the Gin and Tonics. But what the hell, it's Friday right? I might as well pick up at least a six pack on the way home.
The people I worked with this summer are throwing a Christmas party. Conveniently, one girl's parents are out of town for the weekend. 20-25 girls and about 10 guys. Going to be an awesome start to the weekend.
I'll be driving up to my wife's hometown of Port Hope Ontario (motto: "We Exist! Honestly!") so she can visit family, but I will get wasted with her cousins on Saturday night like always, and they are the hard drinking, buy-rounds-for-you type party animals that I find hard to resist, and never do.
Zelda is a ground-breaking game, but I'm going to go with the Arcade-version of the original Double Dragon. When it came out, it had SCORES of kids crowded around it to play it.
My weekend should be interesting. Its supposed to snow 12-18 inches here (DC) so basically everyone here thinks the apocalypse is on the way. This article is very indicative of the mood right now (<a class="postlink" href="http://wonkette.com/412828/washington-dc-to-be-absolutely-decimated-permanently-with-snow" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://wonkette.com/412828/washington-d ... -with-snow</a>), despite the satirical nature of it. Super markets are packed with people buying water, canned food and toilet paper. I personally went in to buy the essentials; 3 cases of beer, a couple bags of chex mix, and two packages of bacon to go with the steak, chicken and eggs I already have. After a quick run to the gym, I think it'll be time for all of it.
But that doesn't mean that they won't start finding irony hilarious and wearing box glasses. Did you know 1 in 4 vaginas is a hipster vagina?
It says something about our culture that the mention of a self-aware giner with teeth doesn't phase me, but the mention of a dirty hairy one does. (Start with the Dirty Harry jokes...now.)
Nope. Those are the scary ones, they just clomp down indiscriminately on anything that comes their direction. Dealing with one of them is like poking Death in the face with a stick just for shits and giggles. It's going to end badly.
BITCHES!!!! I just finished my last exam of the semester and my friends have bought a FUCK TON of booze to drown me in seeing as I haven't been drunk in three weeks. Hello IRISH FUCKING CAR BOMBS until I can't see straight. Working at 9am is going to fucking suck, but be awesome at the same time. Slangevar TiB!
It's the last day of work before holiday break. Everyone is walking around like jolly idiots saying, "See you next year!" and then laughing to themselves like they are so fucking clever. No, the reason I'm not laughing isn't because I didn't "get" it, fuckface, it's because it's not funny.
Why do I get the feeling you've poked Death in the face with a stick once or twice? Out of Focus: After a particularly shitty week at work, with things spiraling slowly down the drain, I made the mistake of coming home instead of stopping at the bar. So here I am at home, the Mrs. and Missanthropic are abnormally aggravating this evening, and I'm only a couple of beers in. Methinks its time to break out the Tequila.
At least I knew going into the game that the face had teeth and I took my chances. The second set of teeth caught me totally by surprise. Thankfully none of those damned things actually spoke to me, because that would really freak me out. A talking 'giner? That would really freak me the fuck out, even if it just said "Hi".
Finished my last final exam of the semester earlier today, got home, and have a 24 pack of yingers to go through. I raped all my classes this semester (they cannot stand straight), and seeing as this subtracted from some weekends, I am ready to get blitzed.