I feel like it's only been the last year that I am getting back to ME. Girl, you had 2, go do all those things. Go see your girlfriends routinely at a pub. Experiment with a brand new hobby. Also, burn all the bras. I am done with shapewear. The occasional sports bra are necessary but there, I draw the line.
My dude, I am hauling around a pair of 32Is right now. I thought a real bra would be torture but having a little extra structure is helpful, makes my posture better and I feel less sad about my all T, no A mom bod. But yeah - 2 kids feels insane. How are there people having 3+ kids, just fully outnumbered? And daycare is like $1,000,000 and I'm only kind of being hyperbolic.
You know how hard it is to type with one hand while whacking to the idea about Nett whacking it to my feet? Jesus H Christ are we one royally fucked up family. And I love it.
You’re the family that I avoid at weddings and funerals. That said, if Wexton shaves his ankles it’s game on.
Feet are a fetish I’ve never understood. Feet are disgusting and should remain covered, even my own. Never have I ever seen a set of toes and thought, “I WANT THEM IN MY MOUTH!!” Not judging or anything, just, ew.
It's not as big as it sounds - most people wear really poorly fitted bras. If you need to do more research I recommend The Irish Bra Lady on instagram. But that's UK sizing so I am merely a 32G. Also, for any of you with boobs or partners with boobs, I absolutely recommend the abrathatfits calculator. SO much more accurate than most in store fitters.
*Puts on Rush hat* I'm more of a visual learner, so if you'd like to provide some sort of photographic representation so others can verify your claim of "It's not as big as it sounds", that would be helpful.
Five... I've got five. I could probably fill a series on the insane shit I put up with every single day. Five very different personalities.
my coworker’s daughter had a baby recently, so she has two grandkids now. Her stories of the toddler being so happy and in love with the newborn make me think maybe we want another kid. but…fuck, I’m tired. She’s a grandparent of a toddler, and I’m a dad of a toddler, and we’re the same age. When can my wife and I even make another kid? When will we sleep? When is our son going to sleep all night?!?
We were #blessed with 2 clingy non-sleepers. When I was pregnant, I very foolishly told myself that my first was such a bad sleeper that statistically speaking the second one should be better. And then the universe laughed at me. A year in and I'm cosleeping with the baby and my husband sleeps with the big kid. So everyone sleeps a little? But our house is in a constant state of chaos and my husband and I have basically 0 time to ourselves. The little gremlins are exceptionally cute with each other most of the time, though. My husband is 4 years older than me so naturally I tease him about being an old dad, but I can't imagine having kids much younger or older than we did. I'm pretty sure the window between immature child who just wants to travel and creaky ass old person with a bad back is only like 12 minutes long.
Alive and surviving for now. The expense is absolutely insane. The groceries, the clothes, the sports, the random shit they always seem to need or have going on at school. Fortunately we both work full time and they are all in school... but honestly at this point our jobs don't actually keep up with expenses. Fortunately I made some good moves earlier in life and we've been able to dip into things to keep life going. Not bald, but both of us are starting to seriously pay attention to the amount of booze we're knocking back in a week in order to put up with some of the insanity. 13 F - She's full of sass but generally responsible and for the most part easy. She's better socially than most adults I know and other than talking back to her mother like they are equals she's really never any fuss. She's the most athletic in the bunch though and several seasons of Volleyball a year are expensive, time consuming, and dragging the other four kids to full weekend tournaments is my least favorite activity in the entire world. 12 F - She follows every rule, she's responsible and kind without much headache. However, she's got the social skills of an angry old man and she pisses my wife off to no end by accident all the time. They will have super sweet days together and then out of nowhere the daughter will say or do something so unintentionally rude that it just sets the wife off for days. 11 M - ADHD to the extreme. He's a constant source of aggravation and frustration. 50 logged incidences at school this year alone. Cannot ride the bus because four minutes unsupervised is a disaster. Up in the middle of the night scrounging for sugar nearly every night. Poop, so many poop stories. Destroys things, rages off the handle, disrespectful to the extreme... and then comes out with these shining moments where you're like this kid is the sweetest boy in the world. 8M - The sweetest, kindest, most in-tune little tornado in the entire world. He cannot sit in a chair. He cannot hold still in the slightest. He has caused thousands of dollars in damage because everything he does is on 11 and he never once considers the outcome of anything he is doing in the slightest way. Shattered windows, shattered fireplace, he's the reason we only have plastic cups. 8M - He's so quiet you could forget he's there. This kid came home from the hospital sleeping 8 hour nights, never wet the bed, organizes his crayons by color and is seriously frustrated if someone does something they were not supposed to. He's a tattle-tale to the extreme and gets the most incredibly annoying voice whenever he's excited though. We're a blended family which of course has comes with all sorts of additional frustrations with the exes on both sides. It's a sparkly sort of chaos though and even though the middle child has me up to almost a 12 pack a night average I love it.