Upcoming Movies Thread

You're asking the wrong question.

But did you pull your dick out during it?

 

The Kool-Aid Man movie, obviously.

 

Based on a true story. Looks interesting.

 

Incredibly it is a very, very true story. That real-life guy still has a VERY long prison sentence ahead of him.

 

Gotti. Gotti has zero percent and it EARNED it.

War of the Worlds 2025 is pretty much unwatchable. It’s Ice Cube in a screenlife movie, which might be the most annoying genre of movie yet. It reminds me of that fucking annoying “stand up comedian” whose performances consist of a power-point presentation to the bar audience who he reads his arguments on Twitter where he “owns” people.

It’s the least amount of effort required to make a movie, until a few years from now when AI just lets us type some shit in and then we get to star in our own movies.

 

There's a weekly podcast I listen to called Cinephobe that goes back and exclusively watches movies that are rated 40% or lower on the RT scale. It really shows some truly terrible movies that were released, including the aforementioned Gotti. You'd also be shocked how many movies come from supposedly reputable studios that end up with a 0% score.

I wholly expect this film to be an upcoming episode and can't wait for it.

 

I saw that trailer earlier today, it looks like a damn good movie.

 

His son is the director. I would love to hear his son talk about what it’s like dealing with his method acting.

 

When you look for “zero Percent” movies, I guarantee you Jaws: The Revenge is going to ring that bell—- that one might be the worst Hollywood-produced film of all time. I could write I one-hour stand-up comedy routine on that film alone that would sell out stadiums.

A lot of the worst-rated ones are in fact sequels:

Highlander II: The Quickening
Look Who’s Talking Now
Staying Alive
Police Academy 4
Problem Child 2

also:

One Missed Call
The Ridiculous 6
Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever (just the name alone….)
Mac and Me

 

So, the podcast I mentioned has done episodes on Jaws: The Revenge, Highlander II, Look Who's Talking Now, the first Problem Child, Staying Alive, and Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever. The Jaws episode was especially hilarious. Definitely worth a listen if you've got time.

 

Staying Alive was directed by Sylvester Stallone. He doesn’t act in it, but if you’ve seen that movie, and then you picture Stallone directing these horrific scenes of drama and ridiculous musical numbers…. You may never stop laughing.

There is this weird phase of Stallone’s career that resides between the first Rocky (which won him true prestige) and First Blood part 2 (I’m also Schwarzenegger now) where he was trying to be some sort of Hollywood renaissance man and some of those movies were just soooooooooooo bad.

 

But Staying Alive DID give us one of the arguably greates 80's rock ballads: Look Out For Number One by Tommy Faragher

 

I thought it pretty was good, but not the Oscar bait they were hyping it to be. DeNiro was excellent in the few scene he was in, and Robert Patrick hit the cycle in it— having being now killed by Arnie, Sly AND Bruce Willis in a movie.

James Mangold directed it and that guy may have the most polarizing resume in film. The same guy who made bangers like Logan, 3:10 to Yuma and
Ford v. Ferrari also made Kate & Leopold and that gay new Indiana Jones movie LOL

But when it comes to Stallone, Cobra rules. That movie is so goddamn fun and so goddamn bad. You can tell Stallone ghost-directed it (Musical montages, He’s the same height as scary 6’4” villain Brian Thompson) and it’s such a perfect 80’s action movie: wrap yourself up in the American flag and throw every other piece of logic out the window. I wish they kept all the slasher/horror events the removed in it for a director’s cut, but Stallone won’t let that happen.