January 17th, 2020. Apparently it is National Hot Buttered Rum Day. And Bootlegger Day. Goooo Kennedys! It's cold outside and plenty of snow is on the ground. Sounds like a great day to celebrate the former holiday. Who has a good buttered rum recipe? Here's one to try. Spoiler: Buttered Rum Recipe 2/3 cup packed dark brown sugar 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature 1/4 cup honey 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves Pinch salt 3/4 cup spiced rum 2 cups boiling water 4 sticks cinnamon, for garnish Using an electric mixer, beat the brown sugar, butter, honey, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, and salt in a medium bowl until blended and smooth. Transfer the mixture to a 4-cup (or larger) measuring cup. Add the rum and then 2 cups of boiling water. Stir until the butter mixture dissolves. Divide the buttered rum among 4 mugs. Garnish with the cinnamon sticks and serve. I've made it before and it was good, but it also had like 500cal per cup for all the goddamn butter and brown sugar in it. Anyone else snowed in today? I was dead set on trekking out to the store for a grocery pickup this afternoon after shoveling the snow out from behind my car parked on the incline driveway, but I have been banned from such activity. He's a worry wort but usually right and is convinced I will slip and hurt myself. I have a track record to prove his fears correct so my ass is sitting at home today so I don't end up crippling myself. Needless to say, the goddamn snow blower has not shipped in yet. What have you bootlegged? When I was in 'Bama I used to bootleg Bayou Rum from LA. Liquor is cheap as shit in Louisiana and Bayou Rum is the finest there is. Not liquor, but I definitely bootleg Conecuh Sausage here. You think you know sausage. I scoff at what you think you know. They literally have sausage fests to celebrate the great Conecuh sausage. I have about 17lbs in the freezer now. I found out a neighbor who is from my hometown also bootlegs it and uses it as currently in trades. I'm too much of a fatass to trade mine away though. Happy Friday folks!
When I was 11 or 12 the older kid in the neighborhood was Eric G. and he was 14. Eric G. had a messy home life, and used to tell the rest of the neighborhood his parents were both dead (they were actually both in prison). He lived with his grandfather who used to buy him Playboys and Penthouses. Eric G. thought he was King Shit because of this and used to lord it over the rest of the guys on our street who were just sneaking peeks at scrambled Spice Channel porn in the middle of the night. He would also tell is stories of how he was constantly banging his girlfriend behind the movie theater on row of old movie seats that had been put out back as they had fallen into disrepair. Anyway, we used to go to the lake on our street and Eric G. would bring his pornos with him and let the rest of us look at them. I would also bring my Polaroid camera and snap pictures of the centerfolds and shit and take them home to only look at, because I hadn’t discovered jacking off yet. I would also take polaroids of my polaroids for my friends to take home and do whatever. That’s how I bootlegged porn.
I may start bootlegging candles. I think the first one I'll sell is "This contains my jizz." https://shop.goop.com/shop/products/this-smells-like-my-vagina-candle?country=USA
Massive snowstorm came when we were up on the mountain. Couldn’t see further than maybe 10 feet skiing down. Good news is my knees and most importantly my balance is basically good as new now after rehabbing it in the gym. Can’t say the same for the rest of my group.
My second thought was “hey isn’t that a street with people in the background? Someone could see her!” I drove my daughter and a friend to go skiing. It’s just far enough from home that it isn’t worth going home and coming back, so I’m drinking in the lodge. It’s cold as hell out there. Better them than me. In other news, I peed next to Hall of Fame drummer Vini Lopez today. 2020 is off to a good start.
Jesus, dude, how old are you? Anyway, I used to bootleg VHS tapes when I was in high school, both on the school editing machines, and at home with two VCRs wired in tandem. I also used the school editing machines to splice frames of pornography into kids movies that I rented, and returned them to the store with smut inside. Yeah, I got the idea from "Fight Club," but I actually did it; can any of y'all say that?
As soon as Limewire and Kazaa hit the waves, EVERYBODY from 2001-2005 was a bootlegger. Limewire had to be the absolute Wild West pinnacle of Getting Free Shit. It had everything. When I was a kid, underground things like “Faces Of Death” made you feel like a fugitive or some sort of badass just for watching it. That shit is Tuesday afternoon nowadays.
Bootlegging you say? I guess my first experience would've been at 11 and setting my portable mono cassette recorder next to my equally mono clock radio to tape songs from the radio. It was a win if the dog didn't bark. The closest I had to porn back then was National Geographic or the underwear section of the Sears catalog. That was until I discovered my neighbor who sun bathed on her dock in the all together. I hadn't figured out exactly why it made me all tingly at that age, but I knew it did. So, after the sketchy tow truck driver taking pictures of my car last week end...I had to do something. Especially after my roommate having his truck stolen a few months back. My car is actually a rare stripper Z28 that doesn't have a factory alarm, would be thieves don't know that though. I'm guessing the fact that most Z28's at least have a factory alarm would be on their minds if they were having ideas of kidnapping my car. I went the low tech route for the moment. I bought The Club. Park the car, one full turn to the right with the steering wheel. Attach The Club pointed straight down....good luck working the clutch or steering the car. Set the parking brake. If you're going to steal my car you're going to have to pick it up with a fucking helicopter.
Toytoy, I hate to piss on your parade, but if that tow truck driver has a flat-bed rig, he can take your car, no matter what. Case in point: The Tahoe that I got Jungle Julia's donor engine from. The night before I made the deal on it, the seller sold the wheels and rear axle. It was just sitting on the frame. That wasn't a problem for a flat-bed tow truck. Unloading it was a little interesting, but definitely not impossible. Clubs will not stop a decent car thief; they are actually really easy to remove: pull out the lock cylinder with a slide hammer, then BAM, it's unlocked. Can't you park it in the garage? I'd also look into getting some kind of tracker installed. I'd advise against a car alarm, because even the best ones are ridiculously easy to bypass once you know how they work. You wouldn't believe how many cars I've seen towed into the shop for a no-start condition, and it turns out that their alarm crapped-out, disabling the vehicle. It takes me about 30 minutes to remove everything and get it going; if I JUST needed to get it going (not going to clean up all the old wiring, don't need to put back panels, etc.) I could probably do it in a few minutes. Also, no one pays attention to car alarms since the mid '90s. I'm sorry you have to put up with this kind of bullshit, man. Bunch of savages in this town...
Oh, I know that if some ass hat is bound and determined to steal it, they will. I'm just trying to put as many stumbling blocks in the way that the average run of the mill car thief will look else where for an easier target. I'm pretty sure that the thieves that really know what they're doing have bigger and more lucrative targets then a 24 year old Camaro. At least I hope so.
I know you've heard of shower beers, but what about shower oranges? Do it with the easy peel ones that get under your nails a bit anyway. Imma try that and report back later. Why are mandarin oranges so freaking tasty? That 5lb sack doesnt last long around here.
One of my best friends in college was diagnosed with celiac disease and pretty much lived on mimosas and and tequila sunrises. He badgered the rest of us into a lot more heavy drinking before noon than was probably good for us.
In college, we used to play the chandeliers drinking game. The way we played was using those clear punch cups, and you pour about two shots of beer into the outer cups with the center cup full of beer. Somebody says go, and the last one to chug and set their cup down has to drink the center cup. My fraternity had a morning mixer with a sorority on a Friday morning, starting at 7:00. We were drinking mimosas and my first class was not until 9:00. We played chandeliers with mimosas, which I guess have a delayed kick to them. My 9:00 class was an senior level class with 7 people in it and we met in a conference room. I got up about half way through class, used my lab key to open the door across the hall and went and puked my guts into the sink. I kept my notes from that class that day because they were hilariously incoherent. I haven't had a mimosa since.