In a moment of shear panic a few weeks ago after buzz cutting my head for the first time in a few years I saw what looks to be the starting of hair thinning at my widows peak. I've been obsessed with looking at it ever since. I've always hated my hair but the stark reality of looking like Louie Gohmert in a few short years has me down. Focus: How have you dealt with your aging body be it balding or the body transforming nature of having kids?
I've been buzzing my head for years, mostly because if I don't my hair is so thick I can't stand it. But now it's a great way to hide the gray I see sprouting when I let it go a little between cuts. My back and joints are now paying for years of heavy lifting and injury. I tend to avoid triggers that I know will result in me taking pain meds for a week after. It sucks, but I've wrapped my head around it. I also do my best to eat right and get some exercise, even if it's' just walking a mile a day.
I'm currently in the third week of a cold. I've shaken the majority of it off but the cough and congestion linger. I would have shaken this in 2 days in my 20s. I take vitamins on the daily (rethinking this now) and drink probiotics every day. I work out at least 4-5 times a week and only eat crap in a 24 hour window, once a week. It is angering to take better care of your body than you ever have, yet see it degrade like this.
I have absolutely beautiful hair. What's on my head belongs in shampoo commercials. Deep, dark brown... it's strong and healthy hair. I grow it out and donate it to Locks of Love, I've done it ever since my best friend's mom passed from cancer and lost her hair during treatment. After I cut about 18 inches off it just before Thanksgiving, I noticed a lot more silver hairs on my head. So many that I may not be able to donate anymore. Debilitating arthropathy runs in my family and I'm starting to feel those pains coming on. My mom just had total reverse shoulder replacement, something I have to look forward to I imagine. I watched my grandfather suffer through it without all these surgeries and modern medicine. It was brutal, seeing someone that was once so strong struggle to get out of a chair, walk or lift a gallon of milk.
Mine can deflect small arms fire. I have Anchorman-quality hair and baldness isn’t on either side of my family, thank Christ. I don’t want want to end up like my friends, those bald losers. My dad hairline didn’t start receding until his late 60’s. I used to think my dry hair was a pain in the ass, now I really am thankful for it. Baldness is such a raw deal, and the “cures” for it are often degrading and don’t work.
Common side effects of the prescriptions are impotence and depression, one begetting the other I suppose. I suppose Ill start no guarding or shaving it but fuck keeping up with that seems like just another pain in my ass. I reconnected with a girl I had once dated after she had a kid. She said she wanted to get two .45 gun tattoos on her waist to cover her stretch marks. She was a classy lady. I'd still hook up with her regardless to this day if she were down.
I used to have really thick hair like my dad, but at age 21 I started to go bald like my maternal grandfather and by 25 it was to the point where there was no sense in letting it grow out anymore. I get my head shaved now about once every 3 weeks, and most stylists don't seem to know how to get my hair as short as it can possibly go, even when they just use trimmers. Ideally I would shave it off about once a week, but the one time that I tried to shave my own head it ended poorly. I don't think that being bald is a curse in a social sense, but it is still annoying.
That’s what most balding guys with dignity do. Shave it or cut it short. Nobody would hold that against you. Combovers, albeit hilarious, could not be missed by a near-sighted mole with Iritis. And men STILL DO THIS. Hair plugs cost a fortune and look like you have pubic bouquets growing from your scalp. Rogaine doesn’t work. Toupees attract the same sort of “I can’t look, but it’s impossible to turn away” treatment as Animal Planet sex scenes and female body builders. And yes, we can tell you’re wearing one.
You have to shave with a trimmer without a guard. Next shave your head in shower with a 5 blade razor and shaving cream, you can get a no fog mirror, and finish the hard parts in regular mirror out of the shower. It literally takes me 3-4 minutes every 2-3 days to shave my head.
I miss those “Hair In A Can” late night commercials. Hilarious. Acted like the shit was the greatest invention since the chainsaw. It’s paint. You’re painting your head, idiot. I could have thought that up.
There was an episode years ago on "This Week In Baseball," I think, where one of the Phillies players painted a mullet onto the back of another one. I think it was Mitch Williams spraying John Kruk. Hilarious.
Both of those guys already had bitchin’ Camaro Crash Helmets. Darren Daulton too. Dykstra wasn’t metal enough.
I saw a stripper in Atlanta who had faint stretch marks on her tan stomach. She still stands out as one of the sexiest women I've ever seen, and something about the stretch marks made her even sexier. Maybe I'm just old and I appreciate women with real life experiences?
Scars, wrinkles, and other little imperfections make someone more interesting if you ask me. They place I work does Botox and man, I spend most days wondering what the fuck these women are seeing, because they look great without it already.
I will never get why people won’t age gracefully. Plastic surgery worked out for Ashlee Simpson and nobody else. Meg Ryan now looks like a tackling dummy. Stop doing this.