Rave: Tonight, I had this awesome and darling heart-to-heart about our lives with my roommate for two hours and it was really nice. Sometimes there's nothing better than a good talk with a good friend. Rant: Two minutes after he left, he comes back into my room wearing a different hoodie and says, "This is going to be weird, but could you smell me?" After giving him the necessary shit, I oblige and say "You smell citrusy. Did you make out with someone wearing Clinique Happy?" And he goes "Ok yeah, I'm pretty sure I got puke on this Saturday night."
Rave Went and saw American Idiot tonight, not usually a fan of broadway type shows but this one was very good, the music was tight and the it did not drag, plus my wife was happy I took her on a date.
Boom: Who has 2 thumbs and dominated her group presentation, practicals and last clinical rotation this week? This bitch. I love the end of the semester because we spend less time in class (theoretically to study). I came home to work out and eat, and I'm going back to school to finish the presentation I'm giving tomorrow. On child abuse. On my birthday. Rant: I'm pretty sure I partially tore my patellar tendon a few weeks ago. Oops.
Rant: An open letter to every girl Im friends with on Facebook: If I wanted to see what you found on Pinterest, Id go on fucking Pinterest. Stop polluting every other social network with some stupid recipe or half-assed idea you found and proudly display it like you thought of it yourself. Between this and someone in real life actually asking me why I didnt wish them a happy birthday on their wall, Im giving serious thought to becoming a no-tech recluse of J.D. Salinger-esque proportions.
Rant: That fine line between "having a beer or two in the sunshine" and "being too drunk at 5pm to answer questions like "what do you want for dinner?"".
Rant: This exists. The best line (in a description of a stuffed animal based on a children's TV show): "This plush is not intended for little kids as there is some hand sewing."
Rave: I sent my query letter for my book to my first round of about 15 agents two days ago just to get over the fear of starting. Just now, I got a rejection email from one of the agents that represents books and authors that I've actually heard of (like Lauren Conrad, the voice of our generation). And it wasn't a form email! It was an actual, personal email. If you're wondering why this is a rave - this means that my query/idea/sample stood out enough from the slush pile for her intern to actual pass on to her, so she actually read it herself and thought it was worth actually responding to, unlike 99% of the time when your pitch is sent into the universe and you never hear from them ever again. Also, since this happened in two days, I'm letting my imagination run wild and allowing myself to believe that the intern was really excited about it. (Or they might not have had a very large slush pile, but nahh.) It's the best kind of no there is. I still have the rejection letter that an editor at Bon Appetit sent me in the real mail in response to the package I sent them after graduating begging them for a job.
Rave: Hell yes, Capitals! Rant: My girl is a Bruins fan and having felt the sting of defeat, had the nerve to tell me, "Now I know what it feels like to be a Redskins fan." My response?
Rave: After 5 days of pain and 3 days of narcotics, my back spasm has just turned to regular awful back pain, which is a huge relief. Rant: Had to take my abnormal psych midterm on a cocktail of Aderall, Vicodin, and Benadryl. Rave: Class average on the midterm was a 68, and I got a 90. Which is now a 100, because I got the highest grade in the class and set the fucking grade curve. Going back to college doesn't suck so much.
Rave: Just received a kinda prestigious scholarship. Rant: Most of it is going to replace a salary I was getting already, so I won't see a huge improvement in my financial status. RANT: Last uni course ever, last assignment, and fuck me I don't want to do it.
RANT: I seriously hate the state of Illinois and their stupid paid-in capital bullshit. I also hate our accounting department for having a different amount on record than the state. And I hate co-workers who are always like, "Ahh I'm so stressed I can't handle all these requests!!" or "Ughh I'm so frustrated with this and it happens every year!!" Well, if the same thing happens every year, instead of pushing it on me, get the fucking issued resolved already instead of bitching about how frustrating it is. I can't stand people who bitch about how stressed they are but do nothing to resolve it. I'm thinking of one co-worked in particular. This co-worked also talks in constant questions. "So yesterday I talked to so-and-sooo?? And they said I should e-mail this personnn??? And then the problem should be resolvedddd????" Are asking me or fucking telling me!?!? GODDAMN!
RANT: Had a doctor's appointment today and he insisted that due to my extensive family history of breast/ovarian cancer I get tested for the breast cancer gene. It'll be a few weeks until I get the results back, so naturally I'm freaking out. Also doesn't help that I googled a bunch of stuff about it. RAVE: To counteract the above bullshit, I decided to bail out of town by myself for a while. My parents bought a second house in Indiana last year, so I'm going to spend the weekend in the middle of nowhere, getting trashed and writing. I've been working non-stop lately and I'm excited to just get away.
RAVE: Today, April 26th, 2012 will go down as the best day of my life. I will celebrate this day for the rest of my life. Today is better than my birthday, my first blow job, my first fuck, my wedding and the birth of my child, combined. Today, BRANDON INGE HAS BEEN UNCONDITIONALLY RELEASED FROM THE TIGERS! Best day ever! I am so happy, I am even using exclamation marks!!!! Thank you Baby Jesus!
Rant: While doing cleans today I suddenly came to, looked around me, and realized there were 7 people in my immediate vicinity curling. I immediately gathered just a bit more hate in my heart for this shitty gym. Rave: As I was leaving a couple asked me about why I trained the way I do. We spoke for a bit, and I may have converted someone to do actual work instead of the Hammer Strength machines. Rave: The Patriots moving up to grab good defensive players makes me happy in my pants. Rant: How am I almost out of ice cream this is bullshit oh god.