Rant I caught somebody trying to break into cars on my street last night. I've been thirsting to catch this prick, since some asshole has been trying to get into people's vehicles and when they can't they door-ding your car, just as they did my new car two days ago. While I was walking to my neighbour's two doors down, I saw some punk walking up the middle of the street, walking up to random cars and trying to open their doors as if it was a routine thing. Although it's dark out, it was only about 8 p.m. and this is a quiet, suburban neighbourhood. I lost it, and I made a bee-line for him, shouting "You have ten fucking seconds to get the hell off this street!!!!" And how did he respond? Like so: "Wut the FUCK you talkin' bout, nigga!? Remember BACK IN THA DAY, nigga?! I ain't doin' NOTHIN, NIGGA!!!!" I live in London, Ontario. CANADA. It's a fair sized city, but there are NO ghettos or hoods. There is NOBODY in the city who grew up "street". This kid was WHITE. 19 years old, maybe. Another spoiled middle-class little bitch that listened to too many G-Unit tracks and suddenly thought he was black. Anyways, it finally escalated: ME: "I'm going to call the fucking cops in five seconds. You had better go NOW." HIM:" Fuck you, bitch. Yo not ratting NOBODY. I'll your fukcing family right NOW, nigga." Now, I don't have a bad temper. I have no "Ghetto Side", and I'm a live-and-let-live type. But I actually HAVE a family now, and they're a hundred feet away from this turd. What wqhat you do? If you were me, you would thrash him. So, I did. I knocked him to the ground with a headbutt and punched him four or five times. He yelped and tried to cover, but I outweighed him by forty pounds and he was no match for me. He ran in his baggy pants, and I chased him, screaming like an idiot in order to scare him off my street. I'm going outside soon to see if he vandalized my house last night.
Rave: Ballsack's emotional meltdowns are way more entertaining than his attempts at humor. Almost as funny as Griffin's drawings of him. Thanks for the laugh, buddy. Rave: Ovechkin's in Vancouver tonight. Should be a good time.
Rant? Rave?I have blue eyes, really blue eyes. They have gotten me laid sure, but apparently they have another power. They can scare Mexican children. I was in line at a store in my predominantly Hispanic community, and blue eyes are few and far between. A little girl started staring at me intently, then ran behind her mother and hid, and told her to look at the man behind her. Then she started asking questions about eyes,"why did I have blue eyes?" "What do blue eyes mean?" "Was I sick?" And hid from me the rest of the time until they left. Edit: Effinshenannigans had a great idea: You should've said that you were the chupacabra. I hear it eats their goats.
So, I'm trying to distance myself from the ex. She takes it upon herself to use a store card that's in my name to get me into debt. I paid that fucker off months ago and asked for the account to be shut down-now she's acting like it doesn't matter. Stupid fucking cunt bag.
Rant: Hungover at work again. Fuck, I had to go out last night ok. Yesterday was my last exam, it was time to celebrate. Nevermind having to be at work by 7:30. But god damnit I feel awful. I was planning to make it home by at least midnight, as it is I hardly remember leaving the bar at all, let alone what time it was. All I know is that I woke up to my awful alarm this morning at 6:30, fully dressed, sleeping on the clothes that I didn't fold and put away yesterday, with my foot covered in blood. The skin on my pinky toe is basically skinned off. If I was a complete fucking tool right now I would say something like "fuck my life", but how fucking gay would that be.
Our work meetings being as pointless as they are, I often do quite a bit of reminiscing/daydreaming when managers and “experts” are rambling on about Buddha-knows what. During today’s meeting, I was thinking back to the better parts of my high school days; baseball trips on the team bus, paying the announcers $20 to switch my large, angry black teammate’s ‘coming up to bat’ music to Yanni and Celine Dion, etc… Then I remembered my junior year, where I was a teacher’s aid during one of my free periods. He was my chemistry teacher my 9th grade year, and was my all time favorite. He used to let me come hang out in his classroom and watch TV during my senior year when I’d get bored, which was often. Anyway, there was an advanced biology class I skipped nearly every day, so I would go to Schaefer’s room. That period, he had this really strange kid in one of his classes. I can’t remember his name, only that he refused to answer to anything but “Dragon Rock.” Dude legitimately thought he was a professional wrestler and would get pissed if someone called him by his real name, even his teachers. Whenever he got wound up about something, he would walk to the front of the class and pace back and forth while yelling like he was giving a promo like Hulk Hogan about to fight Andre the Giant. It didn’t take much to set him off, in fact, and I exploited that knowledge often. My favorite thing to do my senior year, aside from getting high and having sex in the parking lot, was telling Dragon Rock that a random classmate had been making fun of him or talking about challenging him to a fight, then watching the pandemonium in the classroom as the teacher lost all control, alternating between yelling at me for being an ass and yelling at Dragon Rock to sit down and shut up. Here’s the rant: I just completely stopped a meeting and had to excuse myself because I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to give any kind of coherent answer to something I was asked. Thanks Dragon Rock, wherever you are.
Rant: I always cut my fingernails too short to the point that it hurts to touch everything. I can't stand having long fingernails. I always feel like there is bacteria growing under them. That's probably just the OCD talking. Rave: My husband just got a $2000 Christmas bonus. He just started there this spring, so he wasn't sure if he was getting anything. Booyah grandma. Rave: Someone posted above me about reminiscing about the past, and I just thought about how my best friend used to always wear this tiny little t-shirt that she got from Goodwill with Christmas sweatpants. The t-shirt said "Grandma... And that's my final answer!" I think it was some reference to Who Wants to be a Millionaire. She would wear this outfit to class or pretty much anywhere. She just did not give a shit what people thought about her (and still doesn't). I love that girl.
Rave: Very unexpected Christmas gift is coming my way. I'm looking forward to picking out a new acoustic guitar, rock on!
Rave: I love my job Rant: Dont expect me to do a brutally hard project by myself, over the course of 4 days, then tell me on day 3 that it is not expose to be a detailed quote, just a estimate! FUCK! Then dont tell me that I have done things wrong because you forgot to tell me that we have changed how we do things half way through the fucking thing. FUUUUUCK. Then dont complain that I fucked it up because you never fucking trained me how to do these, short of look at this, make it look the same. FUCK Rave: at least we got off early today. Rant: FUCK
Rave: It finally freaking snowed in this town - enough to stick! Rant: I had to drive in it. Maximum Rant: All flights into town have been cancelled, including my husband's. Now he's going to try and get a flight to a nearby hub and drive home. Not cool!!
Rave I am having my first Dogfish Head ever, and I'm pretty sure I'm at least semi-erect. I have three left and a prime rib with caramelized onions to go with them.
RANT: Looks like I'm snowed in. Can't catch a shuttle to the airport, let alone a flight across country. RAVE?: For some reason, my fingers smell of honey. I have consumed neither flowers nor bee-vomit. RANT: I have nothing larger than my handaxe and a Leatherman Wave to protect against the inevitable bear attack.
Rave: I think a chick is into me! and she's 27! (I'm 22) Rant: I have no idea what I'm doing, I hope I don't fuck it up. Rave: Tequila and a free weekend, this hasn't happened in months.
Rave: My best friend had her baby about 38 hours before her C section was scheduled. She's healthy and beautiful and, the best part, is partly named after me (her middle name). She was about 10 hours old when I got to meet her and I love her so much already I can't hardly stand it. Rant: Above mentioned best friend has posted a very less than attractive picture of me on facebook with the baby. Rave: No snow here... just rain. I'm phobic about the power going out and in central NC, when it snows, you can pretty much bet the power is going out. My house is literally the last on the line so I'm last to get power back. It's not the heat or lights being off that bother me though, it's the "I can't take a fucking shower or flush the toilet and that's icky" thing.
Rant: Sick during winter break Rave: My parents, not being in college and broke, can afford shit like orange juice. Vitamin C here I come!
rant/rave: Day 2 of my 80 hour working week is done. Have slept for 3 hours in the past 40 and need to be in work in 6 hours time. Oddly enough I'm feeling alright, Felt a bit fragile this morning (ha, 24 hours ago) but not too bad now. Tomorrow is going to be tough though, I'm going to be leaving for work at 10am saturday, won't get home until 5am sunday and have work again at 11am. I can't remember the last time I ate anything sitting down. Been getting visceral mood swings frequently (manic depression rules), luckily they don't last too long, just very intense and have been fortunate enough for them to occur at times when I could deal with them. Worryingly though, I have already lost about 4kgs, I'm already pretty slim so its a relatively large amount of weight to lose in such a short period of time. Due to an annoyingly fast metabolism, being on my feet constantly and mostly running around and not even having the time to fucking eat a proper meal, it looks like I'll probably lose even more weight over the next week. Yet despite all of that, I am having a great time. The moments when the atmosphere is just right in the club or bar, the right song comes on and the right people are there it feels like I couldn't be having a better time, and best of all I'm making a fair amount on tips on top of my wage, drinking for free, seeing the majority of my friends and having an awesome build up to christmas. I do have a feeling that my opinion will change dramatically tomorrow if I end up only snatching an hour or twos sleep. I just got to make it to sunday night, then I'll be able to sleep for nearly 8 hours if I'm lucky.... Just gotta party through it in the meantime.
Rant: My marketing group put me in charge of putting together all our bullshit and turning it into a beautiful final paper. Thanks guys, there will be minimal sleep tonight because of you. Rave: After 1:00 tomorrow I am free. I plan on leaving for the bar as soon as I get out of class, maybe I'll even pregame a bit during class after my group has presented our project. I must get absolutely hammered tomorrow, anything less will be a waste of the last day of the semester. Rave: I called my friend who is already home today to inquire about the condition of the ponds in our town. Much to my delight, he reported that they have frozen beautifully and that he was skating all day today. In two days I will be home skating on a freshly frozen pond, letting the cold air soothe my raging hangover. I love pond hockey. I am literally giddy about the prospect of playing so soon. Shit.
Rant: Video card died on my computer earlier today making everything look all fuzzy and hard to read. Rave: Nice man at Dell Tech Support was amazing and ordered me a new card for free. PLUS he shipped it to my house. PLUS he's sending out a Dell repairman on Monday to fix it ALL FREE OF COST. Awesome awesome awesome. All because I wasn't a dipshit on the phone with him and halfway knew what I was talking about, thus making his job much easier. It pays to be nice and cordial to those serving you.
RAVE: FINALLY! Best Buy FINALLY got my TV in, and it's absolutely gorgeous. 40 inches of pure 1080p 120Hz glory. RANT: Had to go down to the Comcast "Store" to trade in my old DVR for and HD box to avoid a delivery charge. Holy shit, I have never seen such a sad gathering of subhumans outside of the welfare office. It smelled like death. RAVE: ESPN in HiDef. Hot damn.