Rant: My Dahlia is a monster. Oh my God. Just a self absorbed, attention whore, a thief, can't be trusted, sneaky smart dog. Rave. My Dahlia is sooooooooooooooo cute. Cute goes a long way with me apparently.
I stubbed my toe on a piece of wood laying on my living room floor and sprained a ligament in my foot a few days ago. Who does that? RANT: Sinus infection (most likely) the day before I move back into school. Great timing. Going to the doctor's later; hopefully I'll get some strong antibiotics. In the meantime, I'm on the couch with three different types of drugs in me and an ice pack on my head.
Rant: I think I messed up my shoulder. I hope this means I'm not adding another joint to the Issues List. Fuck!
Rave - mojarra al mojo de ajo was my dinner last night, whole red snapper marinated in garlic than fried. It tasted like pure garlicy fried fish orgasm Rant - I work with the dumbest fucking retarded tool I have ever met, I am in charge of keeping money and inventory straight. Apparently he is tasked with completely fucking it up and accepting no responsibility for what he does. Stupid fucking 30 year old mormon virgin douchebag Double Rave - The girlfriend bought me a 6 pack of sam adams russian imperial stout. She knows how to make me smile
Rant: I was driving down the road today and noticed a guy with a little puppy walking towards me on the other side of the road. The puppy darted out into the path of the cars that were ahead of me so I started slowing down incase he did it in front of my truck. Just as I was passing by the guy and the puppy, THE MOTHER FUCKER KICKED THE PUPPY IN FRONT OF MY TRUCK! I slammed on the brakes and came flying out of my truck screaming bloody fucking murder and threatening to throw that ignorant fuck under a truck while I picked up the pup put it in the bed of my truck and drove off. That stupid twat had the most bewildered look on his face I have ever seen. Sorry Jack Off, you don't deserve to have a dog. Rant: Now I have another stray dog I'm going to have to feed and take care of until I can find a good home for it. Rave: The little guy is safe, full of food, and happily sleeping on my porch.
I'm down to the last few classes, so I decided take ceramics as a blow-off elective. Hurt my lower back bending down to work on my shitty clay pot. I haven't been able to bend over in two days. (Insert ceramics/bending over/gay joke here) Or how about when I was younger and broke my wrist on shag carpeting? Or shattered my knuckle catching a football? Or broke my hand getting a rebound? Or broke my back running? Focus: Rant: Fuck osteoporosis. Rave: Did you know that beer is an excellent source of calcium?
Rave- About to stick my dick in a Chipotle burrito. Rant- The last time I fucked something Mexican, I got more than diarrhea
Rave: I finally found the fuel leak in my car. I knew that fucker was leaking, but couldn't find it. Turns out it was a pinhole on the very edge of a abrasion shield. I zip tied the new line away from anything that can wear at it. Total cost- $3.00.
*Besides cleaning off my desk. It's like a pallet of Office Depot supplies spontaneous exploded on there.
Rave: First jam session with the guys and fuck it was fun. Started out a little rough then the guitarist just started noodling out some stuff and boom. We just went at it for a good hour or so off the top of our heads. So. Fucking. Sweet.
Rave: Habs up over the rangers 5-0 after two Rave: Ketel One and Tanqueray Ten Rant: Need to be awake at 5 AM tomorrow
RAVE: I decided instead of doing homework, I would cook my first Persian dish. It actually turned out well! To celebrate that, I made chocolate chip cookies. Now I won't be hungry for a week.
Rant: Saw Legion (Thanks Travdiddy84). It sucked. Massive donkey balls. In a pickle jar with mayonnaise. The premise was cool, but that was it. The storyline was extremely simple, the characters were completely one-dimensional, the dialogue was totally unrealistic, the plot was completely full of holes, and in places it was so painfully bad I just had to look away to regain my composure. Rave: The only good part of the movie was making fun of it and bitching about how bad it was after we left. Rave: Got massively drunk and played Mike's Hard pong at my friend's house (he's a serious lightweight and can't handle regular beer pong). The two freshmen girls were there and we all got seriously hammered. Spoiler GIGA-RANT: The girl I invited turned into a huge fucking bitch the second she got a beer in hand. She changed from a slightly absent minded and aloof, but amicable girl into an aggressive, condescending drink-pusher. This was fine for me, because I can handle my drink, but my super lightweight friend and her friend, who was also a super lightweight, didn't stand a chance. She spent the whole night shoving drinks into their hands and complaining that they weren't drinking more. She didn't seem to understand or care every time we tried to explain to her that alcohol tolerance varies between people, and even though her friend had only taken a few shots, the fact that she was on the verge of blacking out overrulled that fact and she should stop shoving more drinks under her nose. That on top of the fact that every time my friend and I tried to say something to each other in private she'd bust into the conversation and accuse us of talking about her behind her back. This after she'd just a few hours before been talking about how people shouldn't be self-conscious and paranoid, and how she had told us that people are actually usually too busy being self-conscious to judge others in the way they fear being judged. I kept trying to distract her from causing two serious cases of alcohol poisoning by challenging her to pong, but she kept blowing me off and insisting it was far more important that we all drank at exactly the same rate. This after I had bought two 40s of Steel Reserve and she told me that I had to finish mine first. She even had the gall to make fun of me for only being 3/4 done when she finished hers EVEN THOUGH I WAS DRINKING MINE ALONE AND SHE WAS SPLITTING HERS EVENLY WITH HER FRIEND. I told her in essence to shut the fuck up because she'd only drunk half a 40 while I'd already drunk more than her. Eventually I managed to pry her away from killing our friends by telling her we should do Captain Morgan shots together. It was at this point my friend ran into the bathroom to puke and she asked me "Should we wait for him to come back so he can do shots with us?" I couldn't even formulate a response to that, "Lets just do it without him" We didn't have shot glasses, so we used red cups instead. I counted a shot and a half for each of us, we clicked glasses, and took our shots. I was stoic when I took mine, but she put on a whole performance of grimacing clutching her chest. I poured out another shot and a half for each of us, and she put on another performance as she took it. I laughed at her and called her a wuss, she told me to shut up and pour, so I poured another shot and a half for each of us. We took it, she put on another performance, and then started laughing "Haha, I fooled you. I was only pretending to drink." She showed me a cup with four and a half shots of rum in it. I was fucking pissed. I called her out on being completely full of shit, of being a drink-pusher who can't handle her alcohol. Her response? To go try and get my friend to drink more. Now her friend was expressing considerable discomfort and a strong desire to pass out at home. I laid out an ultimatum "You can either stay here and finish your fucking shots, or you can finish your shots and leave, or you can leave like a little bitch loser and I'll finish your fucking shots." She kept trying to change the subject or ignore me, but I persisted and firmly kept at calling her out and making fun of her for being a little bitch. She took it as a cue to go home and got up to leave with her friend. As she did I took the cup, downed all four and a half shots of rum, and told her she had lost. They left. My friend and I had a long drunken conversation full of laughs about the sheer bizarreness of the whole ordeal. He was actually kind of upset he didn't get the other girl's number since apparently before she started blacking out they were really hitting it off. Right as he was lamenting it, I got a text from the shebitch saying her friend wanted his number. Score. I sent it and he was stoked. We decided then to call my neighbor, another freshman girl. She came over from a party and was pretty fucking hammered. We all played a round of beer pong, them vs me. I won with 4 or 5 cups to spare, it was pretty good. Then she and I headed home, but by that point I was fading in and out of blacking out. I woke up on my couch at 8 AM. Confused, I got up and went to bed. I woke up again at 1 PM, went to the bathroom, and puked. Then I looked at my phone, I had 12 missed calls. Fucking fuck, the pancakes. I called and apologized, and basically spent the whole day lying on the couch recovering. I eventually conjured the strength to get my shit together and head over to the library. Unfortunately I was supposed to go to a huge concert/party tonight, but my body is seriously protesting the prospect of a third night of heavy drinking in a row. My friend is texting me to go, I haven't decided wether to go yet, I have a few hours until the party ends. Rant: Fuck that shebitch bitch, she fucked over my party plans for tonight with her stupid shit. God help whoever drinks with her in the future, it sure as hell won't be me.
Rant: Talked to this Bulgarian chick I used to work with for the first time since I got the "just friends" spiel last year. She'd posted she had a 94% chance of sex today, so I asked her why she wasn't out getting laid. Apparently this was highly offensive, since she said she doesn't want to talk to me again. Maybe this is a rave. I don't need someone that touchy in my life, nor do I need to be on the wrong end of a double standard since I suspect she'd have just laughed at the same line from a douche who spends his life in the gym.
RANT RANT RANT: we're getting less than HALF of what we got for our tax return last year.. even though we have ANOTHER kid. Something HAS to be wrong doesn't it?? What the hell are we doing wrong?? And if we go somewhere to get someone "professional" to look, they'll charge us over $200 just to file... what the fuck are we doing wrong? I would understand if we didn't have a new baby.. but we do, so why is it HALF as much? What the fuck?? I hate life.
RANT: What the fuck is wrong with my tax situation? In about September I started having an extra $25 per paycheck taken out with my taxes so I would get a bigger return since I suck at saving money on my own. Now I do my taxes, and for some reason I only get back $86 of the 2,050 I paid in?? I'm quitting for the night and I really fucking hope that I'm fucking up somewhere. I have to be. I made just over 27,000 fucking dollars. There is no way that they're getting 2,000 of that*. *Actually, they will since I paid 1,700 in SS and 400 in Medicare and they'll get most of that 2,050. At least the government has spent my tax money in a responsible way...
Unexpected RAVE: Jersey shore parties When they were trendy and everyone was going to them I thought they were pretty lame but when I finally went to one I had a great time! I respect Guidos like I respect women, professors, priests and police......
Rav(ish?): Cognitive Dissonance in females is hilarious. One of the best lessons I've ever learned about women is to never take their words at face value. You generally can't balance emotions and reason in your minds so what you say is usually not accurate (wow what a generalization). Your words belie your actions.* *This is not to say that I don't love the double XX chromosome creatures running around, because I do. Something about tits. Also I guess this applies to guys too, but since I'm not gay, this rave and subsequent stereotype is directed toward women.