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Rant & Rave Thread

Discussion in 'Permanent Threads' started by Joel Raymond, Oct 19, 2009.

  1. Allord

    Allord
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    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    388
    Location:
    The Nightmares of children with a 30" Dildo
    Rant: Hardcore studying last night.
    Rave: Studied with a cute exchange student from Madrid.
    Rave: Took a break, ate nachos, and danced the Tango.
    Rave: She thought I was joking when I said I knew how to tango, she was impressed.
    Rant: We did the whole routine in front of the wall of windows at the library and most of the people studying stopped to watch.
    Rave: Apparently they enjoyed it, today a couple asked if there was an encore.
    Rant: I didn't get any sex out of it.
    Rave: Yet...
    Rant: Who am I kidding?
    Rant: I'm inept.
     
  2. Creelmania

    Creelmania
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    Experienced Idiot

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    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    203
    Location:
    Vancouver, BC
    Rave:

    My girlfriend just let me name her left boob "Burrows" and her right boob "Kesler".

    This girl:
    Would rather stay in and watch TV or a movie than go out for a fancy date.
    Enjoys watching hockey games
    Likes hanging out with my friends
    Kept repeatedly telling me I didn't have to buy her a birthday present, and did her best to avoid actually accepting it from me
    Can make my heart melt with just her smile

    God do I ever sound lame, but I can't help it. She's the best thing that's happened to me since I can remember.
     
  3. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

    Reputation:
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    RAVE: I'm the online architect for Need For Speed World Online, the "download and play for free" online version of Need For Speed.

    We just had a successful test of our beta in Taiwan, and it went really well.


    Somebody managed to grab some screen captures from our beta session, and posted them to YouTube.

     
    #143 Nettdata, Oct 23, 2009
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  4. Guy Fawkes

    Guy Fawkes
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    1,207
    Location:
    Nor'east USA
    Rave: I'm going skiing today. In Massachusetts. There is no snow in the forecast so we're going "leaf skiing" after my buddy's landscaping crews come dump all their ground up leaves down my back hill. Hilarity is guaranteed.

    Rave: Halloween party tonight and I finally have a simple, comfortable costume. A group of us is going as the cast of Scooby Doo. I get to be Fred.

    Rave: for the slutty costumes girls wear on Halloween.
     
  5. Drake

    Drake
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    Average Idiot

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    1
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    79
    Location:
    Dawg Country
    Rave: Just got back from my grandfather's funeral. I knew he was a Navy man, but never knew anything about his service. Turns out he was one of the first Navy UDTs (predecessors to SEALs) and was on Omaha Beach about a week before the main landing, doing recon. Pretty bad ass... Oh yeah, he was also a Master Chief, which is pretty bad ass as well.

    Rant: The only thing I have to remember him by is a spent shell from the gun salute from his funeral. Turns out my shift uncle convinced my grandparents to give him the house, and all contents in it. Now my aunts and uncles were more upset than I am, but still, why is it always the dirt-bags who seek gain from their parents deaths? He's got his coming though. It's gonna be fun to watch...
     
  6. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    A conversation that took place at work yesterday.

    Situation: A group of autistic children visits the office as part of their Life Skills class. A teacher and several aides are accompanying them, and instructing them in basic tasks, i.e. finding notepads, pens, highlighters, etc. from the storage closet and bringing them to our offices. A socially awkward co-worker and our supervisor are standing in my office discussing the scenario.

    Awkward Co-worker: So, I asked the kid if he would bring me a blue pen, just like his handler told me to...

    Supervisor: Did...did you just call the aide a "handler"?

    ACW: Yeah...isn't that what they are?

    Supervisor: When we're discussing zoo animals, yes, that is what we call them. You're calling autistic children zoo animals.

    ACW: No, I think that's the right word for it. "Handler".

    Supervisor: Are you serious? People don't have "handlers".

    ACW: Spies have handlers.

    Supervisor: I hate you.
     
  7. M4A1

    M4A1
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    Experienced Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    199
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    RAVE: Well smack my ass and call me Bob. The highest amount for unemployment for WA is $605 a week. I qualify for this. This is good news. Now I don't have to settle for a $10-14 and hour job. I'll be able to pay my bills and take my time finding a job. Shit.

    RANT: First time in my adult life I am unemployed. I have the attention span of a ferret on a double espresso, I need to find work or a hobby soon. Maybe I'll go volunteer at the VA here in Seattle.
     
  8. Trickysista

    Trickysista
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    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    49
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    432
    Location:
    the burbs, PA
    Rant: That stupid Ask.com commercial that goes, "Hey ladies! Who wants a deal??" and then they have some overly excited actor go, "I DO!! I DO!!!". I can't stand it and it makes me want to punch an infant every time I see it.

    Rave: It's Friday and on tap for the weekend is carving pumpkins and drinking beer!

    Rave: I'm applying for a paralegal certification program so I can get on with my life and get out of this mind-numbing job.
     
  9. Rob4Broncos

    Rob4Broncos
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    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    8
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,846
    Location:
    Brooklyn
    Rant: Text from the girlfriend, "Am I fat?"

    Nothing good has ever followed that question. You girls are way too insecure about your appearances.
     
  10. Supertramp

    Supertramp
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Rave: Just started my work at the hospital.

    Rant: Starting at 7:30am Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

    So much fo my social life

    Rave: I won't be drinking this weekend. Good news because I think I'm developing a dependancy.
     
  11. mad5427

    mad5427
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    Disturbed

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    356
    RAVE: My wife had one of those very detailed ultrasounds that the doctor who performs it can tell up to 90% whether the baby will have any neural,chromosomal and heart defects. Actually there is a whole laundry list of things he can tell.

    RAVE: He also, at around 13 weeks, was able to say with certainty that it's going to be a girl. He supposedly has an 80-90% track record at this point in a pregnancy, but he didn't even hesitate. He was positive. We'll really know for certain at the next major screening around week 18-20 or so.

    RANT: A small part of me wanted a boy. My best friend cracked this gem of a joke. "With a boy you only had to worry about one penis. Now you have to worry about all of them." Great. Asshole. Thankfully his oldest is a girl and he understands the fear and will be a wealth of knowledge and experience.

    RAVE: Boy, girl. Who cares. All signs are pointing to it being a healthy baby. That's all that really matters. If it is indeed a girl, my goal in life is now to make sure that she has self confidence and loves herself as much as my wife and I will love her. I think with that, she'll be able to handle anything life throws at her. Well, add to it my desire one day to enroll her in Judo, Kali/Escrima, proper handling of firearms, etc. etc. etc.

    RANT: My wife and I hate the color pink. Her way more so than I, which is cool. If we have a girl and down the road, she wants pink stuff, that'll be alright and her choice. But, we've already made it perfectly clear that NO ONE is to buy us anything that has pink in it. We'd like to hold that at bay as long as we can.
     
  12. ZPA

    ZPA
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    Village Idiot

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    Rave: Whew, thought the demise of the RMMB would result in an extra hour of productivity every day. Thank Cthulhu for this place.

    Rant: What the fuck is wrong with the establishments around here. Overcharging and double charging me on my debit card purchases.
     
  13. Frebis

    Frebis
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    RAVE TO END ALL RAVES: Bon Jovi is touring again!!!

    Minor rant: I'm going to have to travel to see it.
     
  14. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

    Reputation:
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    Location:
    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Rave! Woohoo! Into the homemade wine again.

    Goddamn does this shit kick my ass, for about $1.50 a gallon it get's me shithoused in a hurry. I can drink about 1/2 a gallon before I start doing very stupid things and that's when the fun begins.

    I also figured out today that if I cut it with about 25% Sprite, the taste is somewhat tolerable. I've only tried this method with the weaker white grape wine, we'll see what happens when I get into the regular grape. That stuff is really powerful and tastes like hell. Thus far the white grape is kind of reminiscent of those high alcohol cheap wines we used to buy the girls back in high schools (Think Annie Green Springs and Boone's Farm.)

    Rant: I'm still fighting with the bank to regain control of my money. Fuckers. I'd much rather be drinking beer.

    If I write anything incomprehensible today blame the Nigerians. I stay on an even keel drinking beer, this shit on the other hand kills off braincells at an alarming rate. I've only drank about 1/5 of a carboy (Gallon jug) of the weak shit and I can already feel it.
     
  15. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    145
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,950
    Location:
    CT
    Rave:

    Just spent about an hour flipping through old photo albums that belong to the family I work for. Some of those photos featured Teddy Roosevelt.
     
  16. taste_my_rainbow

    taste_my_rainbow
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    941
    Location:
    NC
    RAVE: Had an awesome time at the State Fair last night.

    RANT: Didn't get to milk a cow.

    RAVE: I had the best corn dog ever last night. And it was turkey.

    RANT: I have blisters between my toes from walking so fucking much. Think several miles. In flip flops.
     
  17. Misanthropic

    Misanthropic
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Rave: logging in at the bar and vodka n red bull

    Rant: Have to leave in 10 min. To help the inlaws move.
     
  18. BaseballGuyCAA

    BaseballGuyCAA
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    Average Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    74
    Location:
    UW-Oshkosh
    Rave: Won the World Series of Beer Pong over my friend Kyle last night in 5 games. Tossed a shutout in Game 1, so he owes a Naked Mile this weekend. Probably in the rain. Potential for hilarity? Through the roof.

    Rant: Ten beers in, decided to smoke a bowl with another friend who was there. For anyone who has never drank, then smoked, in that order, it does not end well. As my girlfriend found while scouring WebMD as I was puking my guts out, depressants (such as weed) expediate and intensify alcohol poisoning. And, in this case, solidly drunk and with primo weed, it sent me on a quick rollercoaster to hell.

    I've had alcohol poisoning before--never so bad as to require an emergency room trip, but I've had many nights end curled around a toilet. The worst part about doing it this way--which, I admit has happened a few other times (apparently I can't learn my lesson)--is that you are conscious for the whole thing. Pretty sure I discovered a new level of misery last night/with the hangover this morning.

    The lesson here for the kids out there? Never mix substances.
     
  19. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    4,457
    Location:
    The asshole of Texas
    Rant: I went down to the feed store to get some mice for my pet Ball Python, but they were out!
    Rave: They said that I could feed it a chick (bird), and they were only $2, vs. $3.50 for a mouse!
    Rant: The snake has never seen or eaten a chick, and it is afraid of it! And that bird is really annoying. It's always shitting and making noise all night. I can't wait until the snake gets hungry enough to eat the damn cute thing.
     
  20. Arms Akimbo

    Arms Akimbo
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Rant: I got mashed potatoes from a machine at 7-11 last night. You know how there are those machines where you places a coffee cup at the bottom and it pours the coffee, then the cream into it? Well imagine that, but with mashed potatoes and gravy.

    Rave: It was actually pretty edible.

    Rant: For about 5 bites.

    Rant: Mom "forgot" about the time difference and woke me up at 5:30 in the morning.

    Rave: I might use it as an opportunity to watch some hockey or the MLB playoff.