Rave: Going with the "Just stop giving a shit" advice I overwhelmingly received, I sent a text to Bartender Girl asking if she wanted to hook up. She said yes. I'm having sex tonight... with a woman who ISN'T twice my age. I guess I'm moving up in the world. Rant: There will probably be drama. Rave: I don't give a fuck anymore, as I'm lonely and want someone to sleep next to. Rave: Her friend might end up joining in too... she's coming out to the bar with us. Both of them are (ahem) experienced, and very open to pretty much anything. We'll see where the night goes.
Rave: Finished work at 10:30 and have a long weekend suckers. Rave: Just did a 4km cross country and came in at 15:42 with a crook gut for the last 1.5km. Pretty happy considering I've done next to know running lately just push-ups and squats and my run time is back under a 20min 5km by the looks of it.
Rave: Took part in the coolest mission this week. A ship board search and seizure with Force Recon and Spec Ops Marines. Rant: Only one day of it.
Rant: Some of you may recall my rant of year or so ago about my friend from my drinking days who tried to kill himself by "death by ex-wife": went to her house, pulled a gun on her, she pulled a gun as did her boyfriend and my friend took a few slugs. He had a trial date of 9/17. When I checked the court docket online this week, there was nothing there on him, but the inmate database shows him in custody at the county jail. So, I was in Ft. Worth this morning for a doctor's appointment downtown and afterwards went to jail to visit him. When I give them the inmate info, the deputy runs it in her computer and then tells me he was moved to the county hospital on Monday and can't have visitors until he's been there 5 days,which would be tomorrow. But of course, she can't tell me why he was hospitalized. Several scenarios have been playing out in my head over this: Is it complications from the shooting? (He was hit bad--liver and lung and last I had heard, they hadn't removed one of the bullets due to its location and the damage risk to remove it too high. He spent his first 6 months or so in hospital custody and had a few more trips back after being placed in gen pop). Is the trial over and he tried to kill himself? Aggravated assult on a family member with children in the house carries a pretty stiff sentence. He could be looking at 20 years. Did he get into it with other inmates (perhaps intentionally to accomplish the above scenario) and was taken down? Another friend contacted his brother, and the family didn't even know he had a trial date last week nor that he's in the hospital. I don't think I'm going to get much sleep tonight.
SUPER RAVE: Growing my hair out was the best decision I've ever made. Tonight was the second night in a row that a girl came up to me out of the blue and told me that she had been checking me out from across the room. She gave me a business card... that said "sassy with a big ass." I didn't get a chance to talk to her, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to call her tomorrow.
Rave: You know what's awesome? Checking your account at the end of the month as you're gearing up to pay rent, and as you're clicking through to get to your statement your heart is pounding in your throat and you're breaking into a cold sweat, but then when you see your balance you think "Holy shit, I have so much money left" instead of collapsing into a pile of tears and shame and regret and fear. That's been happening for a few months now, and it's great.
Both: The restoration will be finished today! Installation of the quarter rounds and cleaning and resealing the tile and grout floor in the kitchen. The rant is, I'm going to spend the whole weekend cleaning, rearranging, hanging decorations, etc. there is a coat of dust on everything from prepping the floor before laying the new hardwood. It looks like a coke party exploded. Weather's supposed to be so-so, so if we're going to be stuck inside, at least we'll make good use of the time and I'll be glad to have this ordeal behind us.
Rant: I am apparently a cranky old woman now. Had to yell at some kids to turn their music down at 2:30 because it was shaking our window panes from 3 houses away (that's better than calling the cops on them, right?), and when I finally fell back to sleep the scream-fucking upstairs neighbors struck again and woke me back up. I'm not even a light sleeper. Also Rant: Woke up sick this morning, as well as tired.
RAVE: The boy's ultra-high profile 17 year old murder case, which was on Good Morning America, HuffPo, Dateline and the news every night for the last three weeks has come to a close. Jury given the case to deliberate this morning. SOOPER MEGA RAVE: Guilty on all counts! Never been more proud in my life.
Rant: I didn't get laid. We were kissing at the bar, and she asked me if I liked her. Being drunk, I was flat-out honest. "I liked you, up until the point that you kicked me to the curb and called me a loser. You don't like someone after they hurt you like that. Now I'm just physically attracted to you. If you want to hook up, great. If you're looking for a relationship, you missed the bus." That wasn't what she wanted to hear. She left. Her friend ended up reconnecting with another ex of hers at the bar. I went home alone. Rave? It could've gone a lot worse, I guess. ? This "zero fucks given" stuff doesn't click with me. At all. Call me emotional, call me a sucker, call me a woman, but I'm a sappy loser when it comes to sex and relationships. I tried this approach, and it just felt wrong the entire time. Completely wrong. So, I guess I'm back to being the same old, same old. And that's why I'm alone again.
Rave: The systematic review my research professor wrote was published. There is a possibility our continuation of the review (meta-analysis) will be published because of this. This is the nerdiest thing I've ever been excited about. Seeing my name in a recognizable journal would be pretty neat.
Rant: I get home from my week training in VA to no electricity and no water. The assholes at the city utility co failed to mention that because they don't work on the weekend, me requesting to cancel my service on Sunday means cancel my service in Friday to them. Useless shits.
Rant: Chest pain. Rant: Fucking heart attack Rave: Got to hospital in under ten minutes, a stent was put in and all indications are no damage to the heart. Rant: I am still stuck in this hospital and all I want to do is go run a 10k. Honestly, I have not felt so good four years. I was very lucky. I am now going to be taking a bunch of drugs for the rest of my life, but fuck, at least I will have a rest of my life. Rave: Friends telling the wife I will require sex 3 times a day as part of my ,therapy. It really is the small things in life.
Rave: Got an interview for a replacement teaching contract in cegep (between high school and college) next Wednesday. I will do all I can to get it, it's where I want to be, it gets me a foot in the door for a future job and the money is good. Rant: If I get it, it starts on October 15th, which means I will have 12 days to buy a car and I will have to write my thesis while working full time. Rant: Not going well with the ladies at the moment. Last two blind dates were bad (girls weren't interesting) and I'm too busy right now to meet new people. If it wasn't for the lack of sex, the lack of physical contact, the lack of love and the lack of someone's care and support, being single would be great.
Rant: Something weird happened today. I was out shopping, and I get in line, and I'm looking at the girl in front of me wondering why she looks familiar, and I realize that she's my (what can be best described as) ex-stepcousin. We were really close when that whole thing was happening but I haven't seen her in over ten years, and the last time we spoke was four years ago when I was trying to track down by stepbrother, but that didn't go so well so we haven't spoken since. And I just ran into her. It was strange and awkward. I texted my dad afterwards to tell him, and he was like "Well that's ironic that that happened today." And I had no idea what he was talking about and then I realized that today's the anniversary of when my stepmom died. It has been eleven years. Things like this happen often, with her and my mom and my grandparents. The universe just goes around winking at me. So now I'm all contemplative. Not really sad. Just kind of off. Rant: I have the Twilight Zone song stuck in my head. Rave: Whatevs got cool clothes.