RANT: The hallway at work smelled like onions because one of the attorneys had a hoagie for lunch. Well one of my GENIUS co-workers decided to spray Lysol down the entire hallway to "get rid of" the smell. Now, my roommates and I used Lysol in college to mask the poop smell after a morning of beer shits, so I automatically equate the smell of Lysol with poop. So I am currently smelling Lysol, onions and poop. Kill me.
Rant: It's as hot as Satan's (haha, that's me!) taint up in here. Fucking humidity, no wind, and 95 degrees do not make the best combination for washing/waxing my car. Rave: My car looks sexy with her newly polished coat and shiny shoes. Rant: Got eaten the fuck up by these tiny yellow bugs flying around. They either sting or bite and it's just enough pain to make it sting for a bit. Stupid fucks, i'll kill you all. Rave: Sprayed the birds on the light post next to my driveway with the hose. Little things. Rave: Headed to back to Corpus tomorrow with the girlie for my buddies birthday and his promotion. Should be an awesome weekend. Not looking forward to the 10 hour drive.
Rave: been working with a client for a little over 6 months and they finally closed on their first home today. She was in tears because according to her,it was one of the best days of her life. Good day in my world.
Rant: Well, after having the worst hail storm I have ever seen on sunday (which busted both side view mirrors on my car, I was lucky) it seems that another monster storm is about to start moving through my area. However this time, in addition to baseball size hail, we will be getting tornadoes too. Awesome! Rave: Even though I bitch about it, this kind of weather is actually kind of exciting. No way in hell would I ever move either, to move would be to admit defeat and let nature win. Fuck that. Rave: 27th birthday is this weekend and we will be heading down to Dallas to hang out with a good friend of mine and go to a Rangers game. Excessive drinking and strip clubs will also most likely be involved. I'm looking forward to it.
Rant My parents had to put down one of our family dogs today. We had her for 17.5 years, and my parents kept her for as long as possible, but she could no longer see or walk. It was the right thing to do, but it still hurts. It's even harder being a 14 hour drive away, and not getting to say goodbye. Rave My family rescued her from the shelter and she was able to have a long, happy life in a loving home. Rave I was home when I found out and was able to hug my dog and know she has many years of life left.
Rave: First holiday in 4 years, saw less then 30 minutes of rain for 11 days. It was a blast, saw a friend i haven't seen in around 4 years. For the most part it was fun ..... Rant: Half way through the trip i started to develop a sore throat, which turned into Bronchitis. So FUCK YOU body. I normally do not get that sick, and on my first holiday in 4 years, you give me Bronchitis, fuck right off.
RAVE: Car settlement is finally over. My life can go back to normal. Note, take my advice, if you're ever in a situation like mine, negotiating with an insurance carrier about a fair settlement do not take the first offer. Decline it, do your research, find comparables that support your stance and wait it out. In the end it will be to your benefit. I've been in insurance for a very long time and even I had my share of problems in regard to my claim with the other carrier. It's not easy and it's stressful but, it's worth it.
RAVE: finally getting my new canopy installed onto my truck, just in time for the fishing trip this weekend. RANT: Looks like were going to need it. Weather is looking like absolute shit.
Rant: People Spoiler I'm sitting here, eating my dinner; some nice Chinese food, at a place I frequent every now and then. You know, just trying to have a decent meal for cheap that isn't made of compressed fats because they use decent produce. It's a one in a million joint, the waitress is friendly - I know, she's here every single time I come, busting her ass for people to make a buck - the chef comes out and bullshits with customers and I've never seen them unhappy. Then there's those two ladies, sitting at some table, randomly gossiping. They're heavier set ladies with a few years on their shoulders and I'm thinking "Man, you don't have anything better to talk about that doesn't have a negative connotation?" Then she does it, she sends food back to the kitchen - not enough chicken in her noodle dish. The waitress, takes the plate back to the kitchen and the instant she's out of earshot, it's just complaint after complaint. This is after you've already stated to your equally heavy friend that this is your favorite place to eat in this area. Get out of town you cow. Maybe it's because I'm misanthropic or perhaps it's because I'm buzzed on MSG and angry but get a fucking clue, lady. Two days ago, I was sitting in some families house, running some cable so they can get their massive TV running. Kids sitting in old, dirty clothes while mom is pounding back a beer sitting on the couch, watching me with feigned interest. Massive TV, nice computer and decent clothes but the place is an absolute shithole. Dirty clothes everywhere, kitchen looks like it hasn't been cleaned in a year; like hasn't either; and there's so much dirt on the floor that it's now twelve shades darker. Bitch is drunk and it's only four in the afternoon and I can just see this kids life. For another fifteen years, he's going to have a shit show of a life, combating with his drunk ass mother, hoping that the next meals doesn't come with the back of a hand, going to school and hating his life because problems at home are running his life. Seriously, fuck you stupid, fat bitch. You've got problems? I go in and out of peoples homes day in and day out; I've seen the top and bottom of what we call society here. You don't have shit on your life and guess what, I know this, because all you talk about is your six hundred thousand dollar home and how it's in a constant state of needing repairs.. All I hear, in that monotone and obnoxiously loud voice, is complaints. You've obviously got a job; or are well off; have a nice house because you're living in this neighborhood that you've complained so much about and you have a nice car (yeah, I saw her fall into that thing because she couldn't squat down enough to actually sit in the damn thing). Want to know what's wrong with society? You are lady. You and people like you, unwilling to make change and unwilling to make their own lives better. Where you would rather just rain on everyone parade instead of finding ways to make things better. And don't fucking talk about how people with tattoos are ruining society. I can hear you, you cunt. Yes, I've got one but I didn't get it to rain on your parade; I didn't judge your stupid ass until you opened your mouth.
Rave I already mentioned it last weekend on the drunk thread, but it bears repeating: whoever invented Leinenkugel's Sunset Wheat is a fucking genius. Any man who can make a beer that tastes like the world's greatest breakfast cereal deserves a medal, or at least a high five.
I got two of these: and two of these: The second was funnier. And no, you aren't giving the people I showed it to enough credit. If it sucked, they would have said it had sucked, and I would do the same, kinda how this whole school works. And they were positive that it was going to go over really well when it was screened. They were with me and surprised that the parts that fell flat, fell flat. It did go over better than I let one, all the more conventional jokes went over well, while some of the more out their moments went over most people's heads. I got a few "that was fucking hilarious" and a few "what the fuck was that" 's. I guess if I lined up the gags and counted which ones went well and which didn't, it'd end up being about half and half. Must have been a tough crowd.
Rant: Fucking cunts think its a fantastic idea to start some shit with me and a few friends. One of them is visiting this city for the first time so he now has a shit impression of this place even thought this is the only trouble I've had in three years living here. Rave: I did throw a fork in one of their faces and said 'enjoy being a failure in life' at the same time.
Rave: Writing another ad for Big Rock Beer in order to defend my title after winning FM96's contest last year her in town. The commerical I wrote his year is funnier and better, so we'll see. I have this sneaky feeling they'll try to drum me out of winning two years in a row, though.
Rave: Omaha Steak used to be mediocre at best. There was nothing to write home about. However I just bought a ton of meat with a gift certificate: Amazing. Even their pork chops are the best I have tasted. I am working my way to the filet mignon. Can't wait.
Rant: Pro athletes. I do not despise you. I am aware of the pride/ emotional rush that comes from doing something athletically which makes people go "Wow". I was never elite, but I know the feeling and therefore don't hold anything against you for staying with your sport. My problem comes from the fact that off the athletic field, far too many of you are scum. How am I supposed to cheer, let alone pay, for you to succeed when I know that hedonism is your religion? Bastard children, drug possession/trafficking, assault, DUI, etc. are all results of poor decisions and/or narcissism that you possess. But I absolutely marvel at the athletic achievements you provide. I cannot help the fact that what (Lebron, D-Rose, Pujols, Clemens, Rothlisburger, Urlacher) did 10 other people, MAYBE, can do at your level. What makes this so hard for me is my personal geography. I'm a Chicagoan born and raised. Cubs, Bears, Bulls, and now Blackhawks are teams that have accomplished significant achievements in my lifetime. I cannot describe what it was like watching Hester return the Opening Kickoff for a TD in the Super Bowl. Yet I know he creeped on 20 year olds that year. I guess what pisses me off is that the minute the Cubs or Bears win their respective championship Chicago goes nuts because we have a champion. But knowing just the small amount we do about some of the players, how can I cheer when I know that the majorty of you hide behind the green curtain?
Rant: So... I'm poking around Facebook this morning and as I'm wishing a friend a happy birthday, I see something which strikes me as being incredibly fucking stupid. The name of one of my friend's female friends. Her last name is Jones (just an example for the purpose of this post) and she married a man whose surname is also Jones. She then legally changed her last name to Jones-Jones. Not a big deal and it's absolutely none of my business, but doesn't that seem like a complete waste of time? Perhaps it's just me, but that seems kind of moronic.
Rave: Through a friend of my brothers I'm borrowing the "His Dark Materials" series by Philip Pullman, which I am thoroughly enjoying. Rant: I'm sitting at work for 8 hours doing absolutely nothing. Rave: I get to read and have access to a computer. Summer could be much worse. Rant: Student teaching placements haven't gone out yet for the fall which is slightly disconcerting. I want to know if I'm going to have to drive 40 minutes every morning to work at 6:30 or if it's going to be a stones throw from my house. I also have been procrastinating on my Praxis 2's which is the last thing I'll need before I graduate after my student teaching in the Fall.