Rave: The Canucks looked really good last night. If Alex Edler continues to play like that, the Kings don't stand a chance. Rave: A week ago Saskatchewan we had a blizzard. Today, there is no snow, the sun is shining and the local golf course opens tomorrow. My day will consist of the following: - Run the track at 2:00. - Nap until 5:00. - Shower, while drinking beer number one. - Watch the playoffs while drinking several more beers and eating lots of good food. - Head to the casino after the hockey games, and winning some money at the blackjack/roulette table! Rant: A year after my Mom successfully beat Cervical cancer, doctors have now discovered an infection in her abdomen. She's been in constant discomfort for a month, and she has to get a CT scan early next week, and will likely need to have another surgery within the next month or so. The early reports from doctors are encouraging, and she's likely not in any great danger, but it sucks ass knowing that somebody you love is in constant pain and discomfort. Rave: Called my grandma today just to say hi! It's been six months since my grandpa died, and she's coping as well as anybody could hope. She was upbeat, social, and very conversational. She also told me that I'm the only grand-kid who calls her regularly which is good to know. Rant: It's shitty because the other grand-kids need to step it up and cheer her up!
Rave: Offered $2000 for an hours work... Well hello there plane trip to Alberta and Shambala ticket. RANT: The 'work' is to film for an hour. What would I be filming that would be worth two grand you ask? It's too fucked up to even post here. So I declined. Needless to say, no Shambala ticket for me, no plane trip to Alberta, and I'm left all fuckered in the head from what was proposed. Good thing it's Friday because by 10p.m I'll be so full of liquor I won't even remember what was asked of me. Awesome.
Rave: The girlfriend will be up here this weekend! Rave: I'm not this guy: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36596076/ns/us_news/?GT1=43001" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/36596076/ns ... ?GT1=43001</a>
Rave: My new phone's awesome. Wasn't exactly a graduation present as was planned, because we've got a bunch of random expenses piling up on my parents, but I managed to nab a one-weekend job that netted me enough to buy it anyway. Plus I don't need any more guilt of costing my parents money anyway. Sweet. Rave: I'm a college graduate, woohoo! Rave: Finally got a girl in my life. Sweeeet. Guess that's what I get for finally stepping foot outside the library. Rant: She's scoping out colleges for a week, guess it'll be a lonely week. Ah well, I'll make it up next week. Rave: Which means I have a ticket to party at whatever college she winds up in for the future four years. Rave: Finally got not only an electric guitar, but also a book with actual music in it from which to learn. I had a book before but it was all just about technical skills. It was a bit like trying to learn to drive by reading your car's owner's manual. Yeah, didn't really work. Rave: I fucking love this guitar business. I even broke out my old music from my school band days and have been working on translating flute into guitar. Yeah I've been playing pep tunes, yeah it's dorky, yeah I love it. It's the second day I've been playing and I can play the whole Hey Song. Is that saying much? Not really. Do I care? Not at all, this is fucking awesome. Rave: My life kicks ass right now. Rant: The karmic retribution for this good fortune must be a whopper.
Rave: Cuba. Rave: Oh fucking Cuba. Rave: 29 year old women with fake boobs and tight butts. Specifically, all around my face, many times. Rant: I'm going to need a vacation to recover.
Rant: I've been off work for over a week now due an illness that won't stop transforming into something more irritating that prevents me from returning to work. The vexing Noro-Virus has led to Gastric Flu, just as I start to recover from gastric flu, I catch a chest infection and now my Doctor has signed me off work for another week. Unable to keep solids down, I've now gone a week without food (one dish of pasta, which I briskly regurgitated shortly after consumption) and have no energy for anything other than sitting in the house, watching day time television or sleeping. This is far too depressing. Rant: Peter Steele has died, this time its not a hoax.
Rant/Rave: Catching up on the ol' board. Some funny stuff going on while I'm busy whoring myself out to the insurance industry. Rant/Rave: Holy Mother of God, what happened to the Booby thread? Hooker's doing her damnedest, (Rave) but you ladies are killing us married guys.
Rave: I met a girl of substance at a frat party last night and we're going on a double date tonight. We talked about how awesome American Beauty is, compared our favorite books (I'm lending her The Alchemist and Brave New World at dinner), how terrible stupid people are, and talked about politics. Girls like this one give me hope that I won't end up turning into a jaded motherfucker like Frebis.
RANT: The Tale of a Tool Named J DAWG J DAWG was your typical slacker moron. He never graduated from high school, but he also never felt that he was responsible for that failure. In fact, J DAWG would routinely insist that he was "crazy fucking smart yo". His failure to graduate was merely a reflection of his "bitch ass skank teacher" who never cut him any slack. J DAWG was only in school 30% of the time and when he actually did show up, he was high 90% of the time, browsing the hallway for a vending machine to quench his craving for mountain dew and sour skittles. J DAWG, of course, never made the connection of his poor attendance to his inability to graduate high school. Now, a full decade later, J DAWG still found himself in a battle against the establishment that was constantly out to get him. 6 months out of the year J DAWG is employed, typically at some entry level factory job that pays $8/hour. Of course, his problems with upward mobility and inability to keep a job are the results of his "bitch ass skank boss" who never cuts him any slack and, according to J DAWG, is "fucking stupid as fuck yo". To this day, J DAWG feels that if someone were only smart enough to give him a shot, he would make millions for himself and the company that is fortunate enough to have his gifted mind on their payroll. Sadly, J DAWG has never worked for a boss this intelligent yet. Today was a very typical day for J DAWG. He woke up at about 2 in the afternoon and staggered out of his shitty apartment that more closely resembled an illegal drug warehouse than a living quarter, and which he was nearly 4 months late on rent to his "bitch ass skank landlord", and headed to the mailbox to see if his government check came in yet. Unfortunately for J DAWG, the check was late again. His dreams of renewing his driver's license would have to wait another day. J DAWG didn't really mind of course. He still had an eighth of pot and an eighth of a tank of gas. So, just like any other typical day, J DAWG started to get high and play video games. A couple hours later, after he felt sufficiently high and was getting bored with mariokart, J DAWG decided to drive to the grocery store to use his food stamps on some mountain dew and sour skittles, just like any other typical day. He put on a wife beater to compliment his camo shorts that were big enough that he had to hold them up with both hands as he walked just to keep from exposing more than 50% of his boxers. As J DAWG jumped into his rusted out shit box of a vehicle and cranked the music on his cd player that was always loaded with a rap cd made after 2008, he looked at himself in the mirror to make sure his hat was sufficiently turned to the side, just like the "dope ass niggaz" he watched on MTV. And since today was just another typical day for J DAWG, his next step was to put the vehicle into reverse and smash the fucking gas pedal to the floor, causing the tires to do a "crazy awesome fucking burnout yo" as he backed out of his driveway. This was quite possibly J DAWG's most favorite part of the day. It was at that moment that MooseKnuckle, who had been working and providing for himself all day long, drove by J DAWG's apartment and came within a foot of getting his car smashed to shit by some dipshit fuckstick loser. MooseKnuckle also noticed the plethora of children that just got off a school bus and were walking around the neighborhood and contemplated bashing J DAWG's face with a tire iron. But MooseKnuckle had shit to do since he was a productive member of society and decided against that course of action. He instead opted to honk his horn and point to the children that were walking on the sidewalk that J DAWG blindly plowed through, informing J DAWG of how fucking stupid he was being. This pissed off J DAWG, who found MooseKnuckle's actions as further evidence of a world out to get him. J DAWG showed his anger by tailgating MooseKnuckle for the next few blocks, holding up his middle finger and screaming "Come here you bitch ass skank!" out of his window. Things were awkward like that until J DAWG pulled into the grocery store parking lot. RAVE: J DAWG also had a stupid fucking personalized license plate that was easy to memorize and MooseKnuckle informed the police of how J DAWG nearly smashed his car, could have killed children and where to find him. THE END.
RANT I found a bottle of tanning lotion in my closet, so I've been using it to jerk off. Currently my penis is brown, my palm is brown, and the rest of my body is standard white-boy pale. It's actually pretty funny.
Rant/Rave: Broke it off with the neighbor chick. Vent alert: Spoiler She blames me for supposedly 'talking' her into breaking up with her old boyfriend. 1. You weren't happy; 2. You hated him; 3. Let's face it, it was much easier and much more convenient for us to hook up. We 'dated' for less than two months and during those two months we went out on a 'date' twice', went out at night with my friends maybe 4 times, and hung out at each others places maybe 8 times...In my mind, that's not dating, that's being friends...maybe FWB. You weren't much fun to be around seeing as you are 6 years older than me (I'm 24, she's 30), but act like you're a 16 year old girl. And all you fucking talk about it your boring ass job that you think I know everything about. You have no relationship with any of your family except that you live with your sister. You have 3 fucking cats... I can't fucking stand cats and you know it, hence why I never go over there. And you fucking talk to them in that stupid ass baby voice, what the fuck is it with girls and that shit? And sit fucking still!!! Jesus woman, I never believed in that restless leg syndrome shit, but you probably had it; you can't sit still for more than 2 minutes in a single sitting! Fucking ADHD to the fucking max. And what the hell, 'Why didn't I do this two days ago instead of dragging it on?' Seriously? Who the fuck says that? I was legitimately busy and you fucking know it. And holy bajesus...Mens Health was actually right for once...what I said and how she responded definitely confirmed my thought's that she was for sure not long term material. I think that's it...for now. If any of you read this and think I'm shallow for breaking it off because of all the small things...fuck you, I don't fucking care. Fuck, she might key my car...at least I know she's the only one who would do such an atrocity to such a beautiful machine. Rant: Motorcycle course is fucking boring so far. 10 hours of it tomorrow too, but at least we'll get to ride. Rave: I'M FREE!!! LET'S GET DRUNK!!!
Timely Rave: My rep is 1024, which is 2^10. This tickles my nerdpickle. Rant: I'm such a fucking dork. Edit: Aaaaand it's gone. Rave: I just realized wikipedia has an article on every integer from 1 to 216, and then a bunch of sporadic numbers after that. Holy shit. Also: Holy shit. Numbers is crazy.
Rave: Just got back from Perth, had an absolute blast, did fuck all work and got to go somewhere I'd never been before. Mega Rave: Caught up with an old family friend that I grew up with back in New Zealand which was pretty sweet. Rant: Back to work Monday. Rave: Only a week until Anzac day and I get a little wasted and play cricket. In a good mood so for everyones viewing pleasure NSFW
rave- Potluck dinners, booze, blunts, birthdays and friends rant- The birthday girl in question makes a huge deal about her birthday, months of planning and reminders, each year getting a little more out of hand with the number of events. First it was a "birthday weekend" and now it has mutated into a week long expensive barrage of plans, dinners and now an out of town road trip to see a Dj. I just dont understand.
Rant: Depo. I got roped in for another 3 months and only afterward realized it's the thing making me gain weight when i'm dieting and exercising 5 days a damn week.. and I was losing weight before getting the damn shot in my arm. Now i'm stuck on another 3 months of shit shit, during bikini season (not that i'd wear one, painfully pale, but summer time is the season for tight unflattering clothing). Screw you depo!!! Rave: it's friday. thank the fucking stars. No more dealing with kids not eating, pissing all over the bathroom floor because they insist on going to the potty by themselves but won't keep their damn penis from spraying all over the place, etc.
RAVE: Haha Massage Envy. Apparently someone got fired over my little tirade. Unfortunate? Very, but I really could care less. I found out today that some girl and guy had came to my place of business looking for me. Why you ask? Because I am such a douche that I actually got someone fired over a very trivial issue. Hahaha, whoops. So you come to my workplace where all of my coworkers know me much better than you, and talk about how you are going to beat my ass? So why is this a rave? Before I did not know that I pissed anyone off, but the only thing they know about me is where I work and my name. Now I'm not very happy, I don't like being threatened vicariously. But now I know there is someone out there that wants to hurt me, I so hope you pull this same shit again. Please come harass me at my work place, I'll even give you the first shot. But realize, if I am assaulted by someone on the clock, you don't just get me. You get my Forbes top 100 Companies Lawyers. You will also get fucking arrested. Like I can understand being angry, losing a job sucks. But you want to fuck with me? Much less, how dumb are these people? If you want to hurt someone you do it as indirectly as possible. Don't let me know your coming, don't do it at my job, just don't. Christ on a bike, I just do not understand people. Edit: I'm sure there is someone out there that is probably saying, "fuck dude, you deserve it." I agree I could probably use a stern ass kicking for making someone else lose their job. I accept that, but if you are going to do it, please at least try to do it right. Find me after work. Quite frankly I have never met this guy, I would imagine though that he is probably about 5'4". Napoleon Syndrome exists for a reason, and it wasn't because Napoleon was short. It's because little guys always want to prove how 'badass' they are.
Rant/Rave: I had some dramatic bullshit post typed up, but somehow fucked it up. Fuck my life and may you (random internet person) do better. I apologize. I realize this is lame. I'm just too drunk to care.