Rave: Got laid last night. Rant: Not by my girlfriend. Rave: Chick had a nipple ring, and could suck a fantastic dick. Rant: Beer= my dick not staying up/ not being able to bust a nut. Rave: I didn't spend a dime on this chick, and she has a nipple ring...and can suck a fantastic dick. Rant: I've been with the girlfriend for two months, she cannot suck a fantastic dick, and she hasn't let me fuck her. Rave: Ahh fuck it, who am I kidding? I don't feel bad about it.
RANT I am wasting my time taking classes I could care less about for a degree I don't want. RANT Coming into class today was really awesome, the sky decided to open up and take a nice big rain and ice shit on my practically the second I got out of my car.
Rant: Funeral was today. Rave: I was asked to give the eulogy. It has been decided that it was the best tribute to any of our family members ever given. Even the priest who had never met my grandmother was crying. It is a rave because she earned it. Rave: We had a huge party in honor of her. The liquor and stories flowed. The family is even closer than ever. MEGA RAVE: So this is a long convoluted story, and I am a little drunk, so I will do my best to explain it clearly. So my grandfather was more or less my father. He made me into the man I am. He gave me my first beer, and he taught me everything there is to know about being a real man. They aren't really built like him anymore. He passed away in 2001. It took me years to get over it he and I were so close. The Veterans Admin said they would take care of his headstone for the most part, but my mom had to cover some of it. So we would visit the cemetery, and it wasn't there. We gave it another 6 months. Not there. We called the VA, the cemetery, the shop that was supposed to make it. None of them knew what the deal was. My mom was devastated that we didn't have the headstone. I once went to the cemetery, and they had a stack of unlaid headstones lined up in the maintenance area. I went through each one looking for my grandfather's and if I found it I would have carried it over to his gravesite myself. We figured we were out the money, and my mother decided that she would wait until my grandmother passed, and then have a headstone made for both of them. Now today at the burial (which was next to my grandfather), we were hit with something we didn't expect. My mom had forgotten to tell them that the Irish leave the casket above ground, and it is lowered in the ground after we have left. I couldn't handle it, (neither could my family) so I had to walk away and started wandering through the gravestones. As I walked I was looking down at the ground, so no one would see me lose it. I walked about 200 ft away. Then I stopped. They had misplaced his headstone and I was standing above it. "Tomas C. Wood". I couldn't believe it. I called my mother and family over, and we were able to have a small celebration today. It was as if they actually were united again.
Rave: 124 days alcohol free! Rant: My fifteen year high school reunion this week. Rave: At least I won't be one of the fat bitches with three or four kids and multiple "baby daddy's".
Rant: What usually comes from a week long break from texting/talking/seeing your girlfriend because she needs time to think about shit? Same shit different girl.
Rave: The work out process is in effect! Increasing muscle and decreasing fat and all that jazz! Rant: Eating healthy. I took a shit today that smelled like raw vegetation and Coors Gold. Guess thats my body trying to me this healthy food binge I am on is working. Rave: My bowel movements, to steal from Slingblade, sound like a poop xylophone. Kenny G and I could go on tour with the sounds I am making. Rave: Almost done University. One one hand I will miss it, but on the other, a whole new world of opportunities awaits!
RAVE:HOLY SHIT Just got back from a Wiz Khalifa concert, for those of you who don't know hiphop you probably know this song at least: RAVE:Small venue, only around 100 people there, ten feet away from Wiz and got some great pictures RAVE: Wiz can put on a fucking show, he had that place OFF THE HOOK, in the palm of his hands. FUCK can that man perform!
Rant: Fucking term paper. I decided I'd get back to work in 5 minutes 13 hours ago and counting. Rave: 4 whole minutes left in my current break.
RAVE: Too. Good. To. Be. True. Awesome fine Phil. So much so I thought this was too good not to paste rather than be skipped over because they'd have to click. And lastly, BWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! Cloud Stormchaser was arrested for stalking!!! Just fucking classic. Happy Wednesday everyone! Link.
RAVE: I'm getting a cat. Hooray! So this is the sweetest cat in the world. I can see all of the haters, Oh my god I hate cats. Seriously though, cats are very similar to dogs. You can get a cool one, or a dumb one. This cat is the shit. That is all.
RANT: I feel like toytoy, seriously snow storm. No booze, sucky. RAVE: Chatroulette is providing me with infinite fun! Seriously, talked to a couple chinese dudes, a german, and an italian. RANT: I've seen far too many cocks. Fuck, didn't realize I just posted right before. My bad. Where is the drunk thread when you need it.
Rave: Ben Folds doing chatroulette in front of a crowd of 2,000 in Charlotte is hilarious. Rave: Besides the clusterfuck of getting to AZ I'm happy I came. Two meetings and then off to Sedona until the weekend. Also I was worried about where to watch UFC 111 this weekend but the Scottsdale/Phoenix area has over 50 bars that buy it. AZ loves it's combat sports.
Rant- Wife is having complications from IVF, decent chance she's miscarry. Brokedown last night and cried for the first time in close to 10 years. She's miscarried before, but we had pics of the embryos and all. I guess I'm not going to be a father and will continue to be a cynical SOB. FML
Rave: Snowed in, no kids til tomorrow, they are at dad's. Rant: I'm fucking sick, goddamn midgets and their germs. My friend's son shared his chest cold with me and my kids. I should be getting laid on a day like this.
RAVE: Went to the doc today, got my boys checked out and everything is in working order. RANT: have to abstain from ejaculating for 3 days before I can get my sperm checked out. I can't remember the last time I went 3 days without ejaculating... RANT: I was told I could "do the job" at home if I could get the sample to the lab in an hour... Too bad the only lab my insurance company approved to do this test is an hour away from my house, on a good day. Guess it'll be on-site testing for me. Hope they have some material I haven't seen yet...
Rant: FWB can't go to Henry Rollins. His dad has to have an operation that day. Anyone want a ticket for Rollins April 5th in Bloomington Indiana? Rave Were still going to hang out that weekend before. So at least I'll get some ass.
Rave: Did a pretty good radio show last night. We had a Spanish speaking fighter, Edison Miranda, on last night as he prepares to fight for a world title next month on HBO. One of my co-hosts, Brent Alderson, is bilingual and did the translation and it went a lot smoother than I expected it to go. This opens up the doors for bringing more Spanish speaking guests on in the future. Our live audience isn't too high but it is slowly growing. We also have done pretty well at organizing the show as compared to previous weeks. Rave: Went to the bar last night and got pretty shitfaced and I didn't pay a dollar for anything except to play a few songs on the jukebox.
Rave: Just received one of the greatest texts ever from the girlfriend: "You will not be a dad this year" Rant: Being "late" and the non 100% guarantee of condoms had me more worried than I think I have ever been. I am in NO place to have a kid right now.