Rave: The four year old I nanny is the fucking funniest kid ever. In the past few days, we have had some hilarious conversations. Her [While getting her dressing for school, putting on pants]: These cover my nuts. Me: Ummm, you don't have nuts. Her: Penis is nuts, right? Me: Uh yeah, pretty much. Her [pointing at her crotch]: JUNK! Me: [laughs] Her: Penis is junk, right?
Rant: who leaves their protective makeshift toilet paper protector on the toilet after shitting? Buttpaper, seriously? Rave: internet shits, fridays, happy hour.
RAVE: My friend landed a decent sized role on Smallville and the episode airs tonight! I never watch the show, but it's still fucking sweet for him. A bunch of us are going over to his place and getting hammered to watch it, should be a good time. (In case any of you watch Smallville, my buddy will be the bad guy... I think he shoots lightning out of his hands maybe? I don't know.)
Rant: Ive listed this old 50 inch tv on criagslist like five times with only one call asking for parts of it. That was until I listed it today with a bit lower price. I had a guy call in half an hour and offer 50 for it so I took it (its that old and we just want it out), but then ten minutes after he says hes coming I get another call. I think I just blew a chance to unload a tv superbowl weekend for a decent price. Rant: My DUI trial starts Tuesday and this whole weekend is going to be clogged with shitty snow.
Rant: Phantom roommate is moving out since he's never actually here anyways, and this finding-a-new-roommate business is tough. Apparently no one wants to live in Vallejo. Color me shocked.
Rant: $400 to get the lines snaked and cleared. The plumber pulled about 10lbs of roots out of them. God damn the previous owners of this house - they cheaped out everywhere they possibly could, even going so far as to not call an electrician when a tree came down in the backyard. That's right, folks - they just pinned the wires haphazardly against the side of the house and left a giant electrical mess, including bare wires run to the garage. Oh, and the sewer lines haven't been cleaned in some time. Lazy, cheap bastards. Rant: I feel like a glass of milk, and if you can believe it, I'm all out. I always have milk in the house. It's like bread or flour - a staple. What the hell was I thinking, letting my supply run out? Rave: I don't feel like raving about anything, but I'd feel bad if I didn't admit that these are minor problems in the grand scheme of things and life is great. It sucks, but it's great.
Rant of a LIFETIME (and I apologize in advance for killing anyone's buzz): My 4 month old son has now been sick for 5 weeks. After seeing two doctors, multiple negative tests and clear Xrays.. he finally tested positive for RSV/Bronchiolitis on Tuesday. The problem? He is now refusing to eat. He went from eating 5.5 ounces a bottle a month ago, to hardly eating a half an ounce now. He chokes gags and turns purple if I do get him to eat anything. He has lost an entire pound in the past week and now weighs less than he did a month ago. Diapers are falling off of him, clothes are falling off. We were instructed to rush him to the Children's hospital ER today after he woke up and ate even less (didn't think that was possible) so that we could get him in immediately to see a Pulmonologist only to be denied. They refused to help us. Due to the fact that he is generally in decent spirits and is for unknown reasons- not dehydrated, they sent us packing. They won't help him until he is literally dying. I hate everyone. I have to sit here and watch my child waste away and no one will help. We have now seen 7 doctors, all with the same 'answers'. To top it off, we got home and my 2 year old busted his fucking lip worse than I have EVER seen. it looks like collagen filler gone wrong (a la Meg Ryan).. he also has RSV. So do I. So does my husband. FML.
Rant: Brandon Burke died in a car crash last night. For details on who he is: <a class="postlink" href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&id=4685761" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/s ... id=4685761</a>
Rave: There is so much snow out side, I can't wait to go play in it Rant: I have no money to go skiing
Rave: I met a lovely stripper, got her phone number and real name, and I am taking her out to dinner! She is georgeous and from the conversation we had, I think she's also quite smart. Rave: I was driven home by the best taxi driver in existence. He drove the entire way home in the pissing rain with his knees. Why? Because his hands were full playing along to blues songs with a motherfucking harmonica, thats why. He even gave me his business card so I may contract his services on future nights out. Rave: Still tipsy, but not so much that I'll be hungover tomorrow! Rant: When I wake up tomorrow it's back to reality and my shitty life, only with slightly more prospects.
Rave: I can finally eat saltine crackers after having the worst stomach flu known to man for the past 4 1/2 days. Rant: Snow. All 16 inches of it. I only ever used to like it because that meant snowboarding, and I can't even do that anymore. Fuck snow.
Rave: I finally got my $100 rebate for my phone. Rant: Nothing to do tonight in this shit hole town, looks like another night drinking at home.
RAVE: Had a blast at the bar last night. Played free pool with a buddy for about 3 hours since nobody could beat us. Then I played blackjack and cashed out with over $100 profit. Then it was time to leave, feeling very good and happy, and not so drunk that the morning was going to be rough. Until... RANT (As was told to me by my friend since I have no memory of it): Walking outside with my friend, one of the random strangers that we played pool against was getting pissy with us. I guess losing a couple games of pool really ticks this guy off. He grabbed my friend by the throat, I started running up behind him, screaming for him to get his hand off my friend, he turns around and sucker punches me. Knocked me the fuck out. And I banged my head on the railing on the way down. Next thing I remember is the ambulance ride to the ER. I was really confused the rest of the night and everything is blurry. Still not 100%. Hospital got my blackjack winnings tool. RAVE: I was wearing this shirt. The bartender is an Always Sunny fan and remembered me when I went in to pay my tab this afternoon. He said he knows the guy who hit me, he's in that bar quite a bit and is always a total dick. Also said he was extra pissed when he found out "the guy with the cool t-shirt" got punched. Hopefully since they know who he is I can press charges and get him to pay my hospital bills. RAVE: Pounding the Advil all day, as per doctor's orders. It's keeping me loopy and numb.
RANT: Our flight to San Antonio, which was supposed to leave in the morning, is now cancelled and we'll be flying in the evening. RANT: Instead of finding a place on the Riverwalk to watch the Superbowl, we'll be in the air for most of it. Granted, we aren't football fans and were just going to watch for the commercials and half time, but it is still shits on our plans. Instead of stumbling from a sports bar to our hotel at 1 am, we'll be stumbling from the airport to our hotel at 1 am. RANT: It's entirely possible there will be further cancellations and we won't make it there at all.
Rave: UConn finally won again. Rant: It was against Depaul, the shittiest team in the Big East and they barely won. Rave: I don't care, they won. Rave: Went out with best friend last night to the bar his wife works at part time. They had been trying to get pregnant and they told me that she is. I am really happy for them because they are great togethor.
Rave: Drinking Gin, surrounded by my shit packed in boxes, on what is my last weekend in my favorite city on this planet. By this time next weekend, I will be in Ohio, working 1 of 2 jobs bouncing in a bar in Cincinnati. It'll be good to be working again. Start the regular 9-5 on the 22nd. Going from being (f)unemployed to working 60-70 hours a week. I get to have a life again. Rant: I got nothing, it's all looking up.
Rave Biggest snow storm to hit DC in 100 years. City is blanketed in snow. Snow everywhere. So much snow, there's nothing else to do but stay inside and drink all day. I fucking love it. Love it so much. Rave Biggest snow storm ever means biggest snowball fight ever. This went on for hours. Double Rave I was in the middle of this fight when chef called and told me the restaurant was closed. No work - all play! Best day ever. Snow is supposed to stay for the rest of winter. I fucking love winter. Winter kicks ass! Rave Hot Norwegian girl moved in next door. Hung out with her last night. Got kinda drunk and might have made my thoughts on her hotness a little too clear, but at the end of the day, I still have a hot norwegian girl living next door.
Rave Tripped on shrooms last night. The walk to CircleK to see "the magical bright lights" was an epic adventure. Rant My dealer is a little hottie and she's pissed I decided to trip at her classy cocktail party. Yeah getting pussy and drugs from the same person? Not gonna happen. Rave Apparently someone has a video of me, can't wait to see it.
Rave: Saw Anvil in concert at the house of blues on friday night. They kicked some major ass and really fed off the crowd's love, which fueled the crowd in a positive feedback loop of awesome. We managed to grab some balcony seats so we didn't have to deal with the whole standing-room-only crap, we got an eagle-eye view of the stage, and we got to eat and drink in comfort and style throughout. We laughed when the mob started picking up its own members and hurling them at the stage, and the drummer pulled a ridiculous solo that my metalhead friend said was one of the greatest things he'd ever seen, and he's been to more concerts than I can count. Rant: Meeting the "minimum food and drink requirements" raised the total bill to $80, which sucked ass. Rave: Steve-O showed up randomly and introduced the band. I got a photo with him before he ran off behind the curtain. Rave: Got all three members of Anvil to autograph my ticket and shook each of their hands. Rave: Chinese buffet Saturday morning Rave: LAN party all Saturday afternoon/night which meant I got free food and drink for about 10 hours straight and made off with 19 new computer games on my external hard drive. Rave: If each game averages to a $30 value that's $570 worth of free software in one day Rave: Fuck yeah