I have started reading Nice ways to say bad things in English and it is a fountain of potential insults, some only English majors will comprehend. For example, an excerpt: "You clod of puke-stoking roastmeat for worms!" Will Shakespeare "You show yourself highly fed and lowly taught." Will Shakespeare "She was a woman of mean understanding, little information and uncertain temper" Jane Austen Also, I have had a lot of fun with the Shakespeare Insult Generator: <a class="postlink" href="http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.pangloss.com/seidel/Shaker/index.html</a> But, we can do better. Focus: Insults. Let's have some of the good ones.
We did this on the RMMB and it was only a trainwreck after the first 4-5 pages when the tards began prairedogging in it and posting stupid crap we'd already seen/heard. Be original people. BD and his bro now live together and work together. I'm beginning to think it's not really his brother rather his lover. I know the guy (bro? ok well call him that) takes long bubble baths. I'm just sayin'.
Mark Twain is a good source: I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a letter strongly approving of it. In modern times, Christopher Hitchens: If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema, you could bury him in a matchbox.
On a related note, my friend and I love to make racist jokes, and comment on other races. But I swear we aren't really racist. I have a black friend, I think. So we realized you can't just go around saying slurs, so we invented our own code words when we are in public. Try and guess the following races: Deeps AAs Obes Bargs Squints Cisco or Cisco kids
My dad has worked in construction for the whole of his adult life; he curses like a sailor. Maybe worse. Oddly enough, though, if there's someone who genuinely pisses him off, or someone he despises, he refers to them as a 'punk' or a 'clown.' It's almost like swearing at them is too kind. If he ever refers to so-and-so as a clown, I know that person should just be considered a write off for the rest of their life. My personal favourite insult ever uttered by a judge in court:
Wasn't this back when the Democratic party was the lynchin' party? Doesn't that just make Alfred Packer a John Brown of healthy appetite? Focus: I consider being able to deliver good insults one of the most important traits of an educated person. Some of my favorite zingers: You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not naturally have been this stupid. Dr Samuel Johnson Rolf Harris is a difficult man to hate, but that shouldn’t stop us from trying. A.A. Gill Dannii Minogue – it is a sad story; when she was a child, a dingo ran off with her talent. Mark Lamarr Does Paul McCartney make records just to annoy me personally? Alex Harvey You know you’ve made it in showbiz when you’re known by one name. Ladies and gentleman, please welcome Kenny Lynch. Mark Lamarr Two things in that play should be cut. The second act and that child’s throat. Noel Coward
My best one is from spanish: Malparedo desgraciado aborto: It literally translates to something like "Disgraceful, misborn, abortion" But what it means though is much worse: You are a disgusting misbirth, worse than the shit that comes out after the baby. Instead of allowing you to be born, your mother should have aborted you to save us all the pain of enduring your presence.
My favorite insult comes from Ren & Stimpy. Ren to Stimpy: "You're only good for two things! No good and good for nothing!"
Bessie Braddock: “Sir, you are drunk.” Churchill: “Madam, you are ugly. In the morning, I shall be sober.” Nancy Astor: “Sir, if you were my husband, I would give you poison.” Churchill: “If I were your husband I would take it.”
...And you will still be ugly. If you're going to quote one of the classiest insults of all time do it right.
No Full Metal Jacket quotes? You are nothing but unorganized, grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Slimy little shit, twinkle toed cock sucker. I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister. I didnt know they stacked shit that high. Looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress.
No Dorothy Parker? I absolutely adore this woman! "It serves me right for keeping all my eggs in one bastard. " "That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say No in any of them. " "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force. " "She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B." "If all the young ladies who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised. " "He (Robert Benchley) and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would have been adultery. " "Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!" “Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone”