Will you e-Sign my e-Petition?

One of the most amazing phenomena of the Internet is Slacktivism, where you bitch about things on the Internet and assume that somehow, this will cause real world changes to occur. Internet petitions are perhaps the canonical form of Slacktivism, but blogging, retweeting, and Facebook reposting are also part of it. It's one step below "raising awareness" in effectiveness.

FOCUS: What are your experiences with Slacktivism? Who do you know that is a Slacktivist? Do they understand exactly how effective their campaigns are?

 

I hate people who think their Facebook petitions that consist of "liking" their link will do something to cause change. We're not talking 100,000 people or more liking the link, but oh, how bout all 300ish of their Facebook friends. Better still is when some of these fucks say something to you about it in real life (Facebook isn't real life imo).

So you didn't like my comment about preventing child rape.

Uh, yeah I was at work all day. Didn't see it I guess.

Well you should like it and repost right away. We need to get the word out and protect these kid's buttholes you know.

How exactly is this going to help?

(blank stares all around)

 

I signed the position to get Daria on DVD and then, like, five years later IT ACTUALLY HAPPENED. Clearly, my signature on that e-petition was the cause.

I despise all of the stupid Facebook "campaigns" to "help" causes by changing your status or profile picture to something. The ones I hate the most are these stupid fucking breast cancer ones where girls are in the know and change their statuses to something vague and cute and kind of flirty, and somehow it's supposed to help breast cancer. Except that what it actually does is exclude half of the population that can help and turns a deadly disease into something cute and silly that girls get together and giggle about like boys and chocolate. Oh yeah, and it does absolutely nothing to help the cause. How is posting what bra color you're wearing or where you keep your fucking purse (but making it sound like where you like to have sex) POSSIBLY supposed to do a single goddamn thing? I don't think that breast cancer research can benefit from "raising awareness." I'm pretty sure everyone in the world is "aware" that breast cancer exists and is a big deal. (Except for maybe the people that start and participate in those campaigns. They might not understand how big of a deal it is and how freaking offensive it is to turn it into this fun little joke.)

And don't get me started on Breast Cancer Month and how every company tries to make a buck off breast cancer by turning their product pink and promising to donate part of their proceeds to cancer research, and it ends up being around 3 cents to every $30 pink bracelet or whatever. How do more people not realize that this is a disgusting scam? It is so obvious to me that these companies don't actually give a shit about helping people and are just using it as a ploy for dumb people to buy their product over the next non-pink version of their competitors'. The only reason I'd consider buying into it is if they say they're going to donate all of their proceeds and I found out that they actually did. What's even more annoying about all this stuff, is that my mom died of breast cancer so whenever this shit comes around people always try and guilt me into participating in the bullshit. Like "Really, you of all people aren't wearing a pink ribbon/buying a pink George Foreman grill/changing your status to what color bra you're wearing?" No I'm fucking not. Because it's stupid and I don't want to belittle the cause of one of the worst things that has happened to me.

Guh. But maybe I"m just cynical.

 

The only "slacktivism" I did was sign the e-petition to stop Usage Based Billing for Canadian internet, and that was because the media was already giving attention to the actual website it was on, which meant at very least people were hearing a very large number repeated. I also wanted to subscribe to their newsletter because these kinds of things tend to disappear from the news then shit hits the fan.

 

In order: My friends on facebook. My friends on facebook. If they do, I almost want to punch them more for wasting my time on purpose rather than through good intentioned stupidity.

There is a sub-genre of slacktivism that is actually more annoying to me and that is the "funny" parody of slacktivism. When people post facebook statuses about people being afflicted with dragons, being Republican/Democrat, monsters under the bed, whatever and ask you to repost and raise awareness. And then, for some unknowable reason, half my other friends pick up on it and I see a giant wall of retarded status updates about alien abduction awareness interspersed with some earnest, yet still pointless, actual slacktivism.

Something about Facebook just breeds this kind of annoying behavior. Sadly, for various reasons that mostly involve event planning, I am stuck with having an account.

 

Earth Hour.

They even included a picture of what people working together to create a better future for our planet may look like.



fuck you hippies.

 

I get requests to join social "awareness" and "equality" groups all the time, mainly from people that still live in the dorms. Like any other conclusion in this thread, it's a waste of time and effort and shows how weak and unwilling some groups are to put some actual effort in. Really, how the fuck is "liking" some organization or club going to improve gay rights or stop races from fighting nonstop? That click of a button really helps, doesn't it?

The best part about internet protesting and e-petition bullshit is the little red button with an X in the middle of it in the top right corner of the screen.

 

And half-a-step above chain emails.

 

I went to a school that prided itself on social "activism". Activism is in quotations because most people don't bother with actually acting, unless it is on campus, and fits in their schedule.

Hell, Angela Davis is a professor there.

My most aggravating encounter was with some guy trying to get me to sign the millionth petition on Darfur down at the student union/book store area, while I was minding me own business.

He asked me why I didn't want to help.

I asked why signing the petition would help.

He said "It will raise awareness that people want to stop what was going on"

I asked "Well, are you personally going to deliver it to some guy hacking away someone from a neighboring village with a machete" (I had seen these people enough to have a retort ready) and then accused him of moral masturbation.

He told me: "At least I am doing something"

I told him: "No, you aren't"

 

I had an experience with personal slacktivism recently. I was hanging out with a few people whom I didn't know very well, as we'd been drinking. As is common with young people of middling-to-moderate intelligence, the conversation turned to some of the problems that have been occurring around the world. Problems so serious they got their own threads.

SERIOUS threads.

Anyway, I pointed out how in the rush to say and do the right things by Japan, a lot of people I knew had completely forgotten about Egypt, and Libya, and a bunch of other places that were incredibly important to their lives just a couple weeks before:

Me: It's kind of crazy how short people's attention spans are when it comes to this sort of thing. Everybody is in a rush to donate to this effort, and they've completely forgotten about other stuff.
Them: So true. We must keep an open mind about all the ills of the world (I've paraphrased).
Me: It's funny, we're STILL IN AFGHANISTAN. I feel like this deserves more coverage.
Them: YES. I heard (insert story about soldier in Afghanistan).
Me: And New Orleans isn't where it used to be.
Them: And the surrounding areas!
Me: Then again, at least those people are trying to help. Fuck me! What am I doing? Sitting back, drinking and criticizing the way other people help when I haven't even donated a dollar to the tsunami effort? I mean they might be doing it wrong, but I'm not doing ANYthing.


At this point the room got very uncomfortable. I had just meant to point out my own hypocrisy, but people realized that a.) I was right, and b.) they couldn't well condemn me without condemning themselves. So they just did that sort of vague mumbling people do until it's socially acceptable to switch topics.

 

"Hide all posts by <this person>" is a godsend for dealing with them. I have a couple like that on my friends list. I didn't want to defriend them so instead I just hide their posts.

 

The inability to do everything shouldn't be an excuse to do nothing. Supporting awareness causes through slactivism for everything does nothing. Pick a few areas that are important to you, support them yourself, like through a church or community organization (or volleyball tournament) and tell others when you get the chance.

That is, if the real point is to help. If the real point is make yourself feel better, then go the all out slactivism route. (Which, that seems to be the point of the Facebook stuff - so that everybody can see that you care, without you actually having to get your hands dirty with the actual caring.)

I give a lot of time and money to organizations that (to me) make a difference and I never once respond to those stupid awareness deals or forward those emails. I haven't felt like a hypocrite yet.

 

I think it was Gravitas here that originally had this idea, but back when everyone was changing their profile pictures to their favorite childhood cartoon to help "fight child abuse" (Bullshit), I posted this:



and changed my profile picture to Pedo Bear.

Join in the fight against Slacktivism!

You know, I seem to remember hearing a story about a guy who started a facebook group for the sort of thing that everyone would get behind, like breast cancer or child abuse or something. After he got a whole shit ton of members, he changed the title of the group to be pro-nazi or some other crazy shit like that. I wonder if that would work now...

 

My point exactly. I just felt like it was disingenuous for me to be sitting there criticizing people for trying to help instead of, you know, actually doing stuff.

 

The constant bombardment of this shit is why I barely ever use facebook. It became a website for people to vomit their shitty beliefs all over everybody connected to them, especially the monstrously ignorant STOP STEM CELL RESEARCH twats whom I especially have contempt for. 99% of these so-called activists never take the step past the grueling five minutes it takes to set their page up on facebook, because it's always just somebody pissing out their ass.

 

Only petition I've signed in recent memory was that one for net neutrality up here not too long ago.

 

I've signed 2 petitions in my life. The first was to get Cap'n Crunch in the dorm cafeteria. The second was to put the sale of hard liquor in town on the ballot. I believe you have to choose your battles.