There is half a carrot cake sitting in the break room fridge... unmarked... and everyone in the office is looking at it like this: I'm giving it half an hour.
Dog brain: "I could tear this bitch's throat out in about two seconds and no one could stop me. Sure, they might put me down afterwards, but not before I ate all the cupcakes."
Its either hypnotized by the cupcakes or just weighing options. "Cakes or her jugular first?" "Do I shit in their bed afterwards?"
Meg Ryan was so wholesomely hot, now she looks like the love child of Ronald McDonald and a dried-out Aztec mummy. Fucking tragedy. Cosmetic surgery is shit. Period.
I've always felt bad for that dog. I mean, you're taunting him! How many adults would pass that test? Apparently you and your coworkers can't even keep your hands off 1/2 a carrot cake and that dog is supposed to just NOT eat the cupcakes? He gets in trouble and you guys all rub your bellies in contentment? Not fair.
Check this out: http://www.stutterbox.co.uk/ Wear noise cancelling headphones and turn the volume up so all you can hear is your delayed voice and not your actual voice. Absolutely destroys your ability to think/speak.
The trip to Florida last week was great, and the legions of elderly were endlessly amusing. It's been a few decades since I was down in Flori-duh and spent any time in one of the retirement community areas. The first night visiting my brother in law, he took us out to a great Italian place that was swimming in blue-hairs and oxygen tanks. Dinner was accompanied by a symphony of crashing cultery, glassware and plates - the table next to us, not one of them under 90 years old, would knock something onto the floor, it would shatter everywhere, and they would all look around, puzzled, uncertain as to what was happening. A waiter would rush over, clean things up, and 10 minutes later the process would repeat itself. Now I'm back from God's Waiting Room, to find out I'm facing a 20% pay cut. How nice. Maybe I'll put 20% less effort into the business trip I'm leaving for this afternoon. On the bright side, the cut is not performance related, at least not MY performance, and is tied to a temporary reduction in hours. So essentially I'm getting paid the same per hour (although I'm salaried), and I'll be getting three day weekends for awhile. And honestly, 80% of my salary is still more than most people make, so I have little reason to complain.
Yeah, I just used it. So? My mom is visiting and cleaning my house since I'm on limited activity. I think I might be on limited activity for months, possibly years. It's a travesty really.
I took two pole classes today and since I was the only person in one of them, she and I got to really play and do some stuff I haven't done in a long time. I am going to have some damned interesting bruises tomorrow. Hell. They're already forming up. I look like I've been fucked by a stegosaurus.
Two of the most feared words in the corporate world have been uttered at work: Organizational Restructuring. Ordinarily, I'd just blow my boss to ensure my job security, but even his is tentative. Go higher up the chain and above him is a woman in her late 60's. I'm at a loss. I may actually have to start putting some effort in at work.
Nothing crazy. A couple of inversions. Some spins. Some belly hangs that I've NEVER done. If I ever get to be skilled enough at it - I'll post video.
FYI... Coming from the consulting side, if they tell you that there's not going to be layoffs, they're lying. They will dress them up and call them "resource actions" or something, but just be aware.
Re: We Todd Did You can get the first word or two out okay, but as soon as you try to put together an extended train of thought you're done for. My roommate tried to read Thomas the Tank Engine out loud and it was a train wreck.
About 30 minutes ago a guy came running up to me telling me his sister just died and he needed to leave early, but he'd see me on Thursday. Actually you won't. I don't need you after today. Five minutes after that one of the guys told me he wouldn't be here Thursday because his Aunt died. Yeah, you're not going to be here tomorrow or Friday, either. I have a heart of stone when it comes to cutting people, but I'll admit that made me feel a little bit bad.
I'm confused. You just fired two people for lying about deaths in the family? Was there something suspicious about how they approached you?