The 2nd Annual Christmas & New Years Drunk Thread 2010! NSFW

C'mon Mr. Smarty-pants-lawyer, the whole point of killing them is so you don't have to pay them. Have you not played Grand Theft Auto?

 

Woman masturbating any day of the week.


Edit: Oops. my answer was late.

 

Thank you for caring.

 

You still have to have the seed money (woo! a pun!) to get them in the first place so you can steal it back. No cash up front, no dead hooker.

 

This has been my favourite false dichotomy all week. Pretend like we can go for 1 / 3, and then just give 'em all out anyways.

For the record, the tits picture was the best. That's a mighty fine, healthy set of lungs on that there broad.

 

No way, the masturbating one was the best by far. Not only does it contain a beautiful woman playing with herself, but also a nice set of tits too. Really you can't go wrong with any of the pictures Dcc001 has posted.

Edit: Spelling.

 

Come now, who in their right mind could resist a woman servicing herself? That's the obvious answer here.

 

Know what there, dcc? I've changed my mind. Women pleasuring themselves are pretty damn hot but that picture didn't quite do it for me. So, please sir, I want some more?

P.S. Could there be a more annoying habit than referring to "mom" and "baby" as proper nouns in women's health? Holy fuck. "there are consequences of vitamin deficiency for mom and baby!" "breastfeeding is good for mom and baby!" "something something mom and baby!" It's the only time you ever hear otherwise experienced professionals and mature adults speaking like god damned five year olds and for some reason I can't put my finger on it annoys the crap out of me. You don't ever hear, "untreated depression is a significant suicide risk for patient" or "old person is at risk of falls with benzodiazepines". In fact, even in pediatrics you don't hear things like "baby needs to have their vaccination schedule kept up to date". And you know why it's done? Because pregnancy and childbirth has to be recognized as the most preternaturally beautiful and emotionally perfect state any human being could and should ever desire to become and heaven forfend that their special, individual uniqueness not be recognized at all fucking times.

Also, maybe I'm very emotionally cold when it comes to cuddly baby stuff. Ever watched shows on TVs with babies and, whether fiction or documentary, someone unfailingly mentions that baby so-and-so loves their mother and father? Every time I see that I think "No they don't. They don't even know what love is."

 

Saw this en route to a patient's nursing home.


If only he had waited a bit, he could have died for a far superior social networking site, like facebook.

 

I read this and just remembered that my friend broke her finger after leaving my house hammered this morning. I had to check my texts to find out how she did it (smoked it on the corner of her dresser trying to get into bed - if I am her, I'm making up a wicked cool story involving ninjas and peanut butter).

Sunday Funday details are always foggy. How did I manage before texting?

I am so jacked up on caffeine I can hardly type. I know better than to drink this much coffee, but when I have a whole bottle of Bailey's calling my name and teasing me with it's creamy deliciousness, I am powerless.

 

Where are all the East coast people at? It's only 3am your time. Bunch of pansies. Now I have to drink along while furiously pressing F5 waiting for someone to reply.

 

Don't worry, some of us are still lurking around. I just finished a report due tomorrow and will celebrate with my last beer of the night, which is a nice Sam Adams Chocolate Bock. Damn right.

Other than that, I'll probably wake up unable to move again because of the lower back aggravation from earlier today, so I'm trying to ride out this late night buzz as long as possible.

 

I'm here.

Aaron Paul, Jesse of Breaking Bad, is an amazing actor. The last scene of season 3 is magnificent.

 

Things I learned tonight:
-pregnant friends don't make good DDs if their car breaks down and your car is a manual and they don't know how to drive a stick.
-I'm an impressive drunk driver. 150 miles? Pssh, that's nothing.
-pregnant friends can sometimes be dumb enough to get in the car with me and ride 150 miles when I shouldn't be driving.
-Lucero fans are awesome. I met a bunch of awesome people while pregnant friend sat in the booth.
-Ben Nichols is badass as hell.
-Lucero put on the best concert I've ever seen.
-Getting to meet a band you're obsessed with is the coolest thing in the world.
-tonight was completely worth getting home roughly 2 hours before I have to be a work.
-standing within arms length of the band makes the show even better.
-standing next to a hot guy named Dustin doesn't hurt anything either.

 

"Yo I been out there all night slangin' crystal. You think it's cake movin' a lb of meth one teenth at a time?"

Fuckin' love that show.

 

Jesus christ I hate my fucking exam schedule. Every single one is at either 7 or 8 in the morning. It's like they are trying to fuck us over. Luckily, I have found a flaw in their system: go nocturnal. Starting last Friday I slowly pushed forward my hours until now my natural sleep time comes along at around 11am, then I sleep all day and can cram right up until test time. So right now(5:32am) it is like late afternoon/early evening for me. I don't know how I'm going to go about making my flight at 5pm on Saturday. My last test is this Thursday and so I will be getting drunk as holy fuck that night and Friday, but I likely won't be able to fall asleep after drinking until the new programmed 11am...meaning 5pm will be equivalent to around 5am normal people time. For the first time ever I have a decent flight time, and it will likely be ruined.

(Sorry if this didn't make any sense, I'm on my third cup of coffee.)

tl/dr summary: tits.

Spoiler