The Expenadbles I watched The Expendables the other night. I actually enjoyed it. The movie didn't take itself too seriously, there were a few laughs, and there was a lot of action, explosions, and people getting killed/chopped to pieces to keep me entertained. A good movie if you just want to sit back and be entertained for a couple of hours. 75/100
The Expendables. I saw this opening night, and I flat out just didn't like it. The fight scenes were hard to follow: too much shaky camera, not enough perspective, too dark, etc. The Latin American general was the worst acting I've ever seen (Angel from Dexter, by the way). It had some hilariously macho moments ("I'm not perfect, but I was worth it. You should've waited."), but for the most part it was just Wal-Mart class nonsense. This movie could have been so much better if it hadn't tried to give a bunch of mercenaries soulful traits (Stallone-aged wisdom, Statham-loneliness, Lundgren-addiction/stupidity, etc.). I wasn't expecting Oscar-worthy, but I left disappointed anyway.
The Expendables I'll weigh in with my thoughts on the Expendables. In short, I found it to be everything I was expecting, and a thoroughly enjoyable and fun movie. As has been said before, it didn't take itself seriously, and was jammed packed with what it said it was bringing to the table; action. Sure, there were some meager and boring attempts at some sort of character development and story, as only Sly can write, but they were totally drowned out by the copious amounts of action. And action movie cliches. To me, it was a great homage to the classic B-rated action flicks of the 80's, and delivered in spades. (Think Cobra meets Commando meets Fast and the Furious). I thoroughly enjoyed it, and it delivered exactly what I was hoping it would. I left the theater laughing and smiling and feeling like it was well worth the cash I spent to see it. Anyone trying to critique the story or find meaningful movie-making in it should be smacked upside the head. Hard. The story was a (generous) 2/10, but the action and fun was a solid 9/10 for me.
So I got off an 11 hour flight today. Somewhat recent movie review thread. Date Night. I found this really funny, and it took me by surprise. Steve Carell + Tina Fey = couple looking to spice up their boring marriage. They take somebody's reservation at a fancy restaurant, and get mixed up in a plot involving a mob boss and some powerful figures. This movie really struck the perfect balance: the couple's life before isn't so bland as to be dull and uninteresting to the viewer, but at the same time you can see that they have some problems to resolve. Oh yeah, comedy: these two have some of the most natural lines I've heard in a while, and they deliver it perfectly. Honestly, very few complaints. 85/100. Green Zone. This movie lacked a heart, it really did. I understood the topic (Matt Damon as armyman, looking to uncover the truth behind WMDs in Iraq - namely, why his unit can't find any with the intel they are given), but honestly I struggled to care about the characters themselves. Why is Damon's character so driven to find the truth, when all the other soldiers just wanna go home? Why are the antagonists (spoiler: they're Americans) given such one-note stances and lines to deliver? It's really missing thematic depth. Could have been great, but ended up "meh". 67/100. The Ghost Writer. A Roman Polanski adaptation, the story of a ghost writer hired to write the memoirs of a former Prime Minister after the previous writer dies. As he begins to edit, things get suspiciouser and suspiciouser. I don't want to give too much away, because I thought this was a really excellent movie. I'll just say that it plays off of some of the same themes as Green Zone, but does them so much better. Polanski gets the pacing exactly right, and no person in the story is omnipotent - not the camera and especially not the viewer. I couldn't wait to see what happened next. It explores its theme excellently as well, unlike the previous film. Watch this movie. 91/100.
Pirahna 3-D Awesome. Fucking awesome. So much blood, tits, and violence it's ridiculous. I've literally never seen so many people die in such absurd ways in one movie. It's cheesy, but not completely Snakes On A Plane retarded. Christopher Lloyd is hilarious, Ving Rhames is fucking badass, and Kelly Brook is insanely hot. I give it high marks, especially for a movie with such a stupid premise.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1341167/ This is the funniest movie I have seen all year and once again proof no one does Satire like the British. In short it follows 4 young muslims on their quest to become suicide bombers.
The Last Exorcism Tries to take a Blair Witch/Paranormal Activity "reality" approach, but doesn't pull it off. The first 30-45 minutes are almost useless. Lots of other horror movies start slow, but at least they're building tension up to a better scare later. For this one, you could show up about 45 minutes late and not miss anything. Actually, the movie is worse if you see the beginning, because the ending is inconsistent. There's a short period about an hour in when it had potential and some well done tension, but it just goes away with no scare. Avoid this one: 3/10
Machete Usually my biggest gripe with a movie is the lack of interesting characters. If a movie can't develop solid, round characters that displays the motivations to back up their actions, I can't help but hate it. It's the reason I don't like most romantic comedies and I fucking loathed Surrogates. Machete not only managed to create interesting, well-rounded characters, but created a lot of them. My second biggest problem with movies is shitty writing. If the plot is either too contrived or over-cliched, it doesn't matter how pretty the scenery is or what social allegory they're trying to push across. It's what ruined Avatar for me and most the people I know. Machete not only had a surprisingly solid story, but managed to make it relevant to current events. Yet somehow, I still hated Machete. I can imagine that halfway through the movie, Robert Rodriguez might have gone "Ok, people are probably going to get sick of just seeing Danny Trejo decapitating people." No! I paid $8.50 solely for that reason. I can admire that you managed to create an interesting story arch that shows Jessica Alba's character progressing from an immigrant turned immigrations agent turned freedom fighter or the internal conflicts and backstabbing happening behind the scenes of De Nero's run for senate. But is it too much to ask that you don't do this by devoting the entire second act to nothing but exposition? By the time the final showdown happened, I was too fucking bored to care about all the characters I already knew I was about to watch die. But then again, out of a group of seven I was the only one that didn't like it. Whether that says something about the movie or about me, I don't know. But I will warn you this: Spoiler If you're expecting the revenge flick the trailer promised, you'll be disappointed. Early on Machete's wife is murdered, and he doesn't know where his daughter is. If you forget the part about his daughter, it's not your fault. They never bring it up again. In the end all the people who wronged him get what they deserve...just not from Machete. In fact Machete doesn't kill a single of the main characters. I paid to watch Danny Trejo stab Robert De Nero, and they couldn't even deliver that. I know you might be thinking "But it's supposed to be bad. It's an old-fashioned grindhouse exploitation flick that's all about tits and blood." I know that. You'll still be disappointed. There are a few funny moments (The "I quit" guy was one of my favorites) but it can definitely wait to be rented on DVD.
The Last Exorcism Gonna agree with trifecta on this. A lot of the movie was useless and it had the potential to be awesome, but wasn't. It's only redeeming quality was that I was drunk and there were some jumpy parts. The whole movie was a mix of Blair witch and the original exorcist. The ending was a bit off too, there was a climax but it still just didn't end right with me. 3/10
The American Spoiler George Clooney pretends hes Jason Bourne and shoots stuff. However this is not the one of the Bourne movies. George is resting peacefully in a cabin during his retirement (like the beginning of Commando, Shooter, etc) with his girlfriend and then out of nowhere some assassins shoot at him. He predictably kills them, because the movie wouldnt be much fun if he died in a first five minutes, and then basically shrugs his shoulders and shoots his girlfriend anyway. Then nothing happens for 90 minutes as George talks to a priest, does a bit of travelling, throws away a cell phone, and makes his best "OMG IM SO SUSPICIOUS" face at everyone. The last 5 minutes roll around and hes headed to a picnic but passes out and drives into a tree. The End. If that synopsis sounds interesting then youre going to love this movie. If it seemed fragmented, incompleted, and badly written, then you know how this movie is. Enjoy.
The Last Exorcism I went into this getting exactly what I expected, a Blair Witch/Paranormal Activity mockumentary horror film, at least for the first hour. Then it went downhill, fast. I remember reading a few days ago that the director took pride in the movie, because there was no CGI. Well, effects can be cheesy without CGI. I expected to see Jim Henson's company in the credits for puppetry and animatronics. Edit: In addition, the whole movie I couldn't figure out where I saw Cotton (the exorcist) before. He's professor Laskey from Saved by the Bell: The College Years. 4/10
The American Most of the reviews I read before going to see this were pretty accurate, the film basically slowly builds up mood and tension very effectively but ends up giving no payoff. Their is little dialogue through most of the beginning of the movie, so the movie relies on atmosphere and setting which it does very well, and also some outstanding cinematography. George Clooney acts pretty much through his body language and facial expressions. When the final act of the movie arrives, it's just kind of meh. Still, their are some very strong points to the film, it just moves way too slow. Their definetely is a big European feel/influence here, so a lot of audiences will be turned off. C+
The Town Affleck: I need your help. You can't ask me why and we can't speak of it ever again, but we need to go hurt some people. Renner: Who's car are we taking? 10/10
The Town Wonderful performances by Jeremy Renner and Ben Affleck. Jeremy Renner, it seems, it going to have a fine career based on solely playing depraved misfits who are somehow lovable. But I didn't buy the whole love interest side of things, and in fact thought the girl was really annoying and strange. It also was a slower movie than I had anticipated. Don't go into it looking for a fast-paced action flick, but if you want a cool movie with a lot of emotional depth, then this is a good one. Also, bonus points for Blake Lively being a whore. 8/10 Easy A Emma Stone gets falsely labeled as the school bicycle. It was cute, with a lot of laughs (special mention to all jokes involving her adoptive brother), and Emma Stone looks hot in all her corset outfits. For a comedy centering on a high school girl, it does very well. 7/10
Machete: This movie is Dolemite for Mexicans. If you don't speak any Spanish, you might miss a good deal of this movie. The good: the soap-opera/porno acting, the b-movie on acid style violence, the cast sounds like a game of 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon played by hobos wasted on Easy Times whiskey and WD-40, Robert DeNiro's Texas accent and campaign commercials, the soundtrack by Chingon, Lindsey Lohan's role is simply fucking hilarious because she's not really acting, she's just on a camera that doesn't belong to a paparazzi and Danny Trejo's portrayal of a stoic, day-laborer, action hero is hysterical. "Machete don't text". The bad: the stupid political statement, Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba (eye candy-yes, but they cannot act, even in this they are both just awful), and this movie could have been a half hour shorter without the "immigrants rock!" political statement. Overall: this is a B-movie, so it's ridiculous in every appreciable respect. I didn't have high expectations, but it was funny, ridiculous and fun to watch. If you liked Rodriguez's other stuff (Dusk Til Dawn, Planet Terror, Desperado) but wanted something more over-the-top, this is definitely for you.
The Town: I thought it was funny that they advertised this film as "from the director who did gone baby gone" so I guess we can admit that gone baby gone was amazing but America is not ready to admit that Ben Affleck is a good director yet? Couldn't they have said directed by Ben Affleck? Either America is too dumb to know Ben directed gone baby gone or they are simply not ready for him to be a big director yet. Otherwise I thought this movie was excellent. Here is a little hint Ben is really, really good at doing movies in Boston. The description of Heat meets the Departed is a little cheesy but it's not inaccurate. The story isn't horribly original, a typical criminal "crew." Spoiler complete with the brilliant mastermind, the car thief and skilled driver, the technician, oh and of course the unstable wacko who takes things too far and always brings unwanted Heat on his crew. Still the movie has great performances by Renner and Ben, Jon Hamm not so much but he doesn't hurt the movie at all. The pacing of the movie is great, you don't look at your watch and get annoyed by lovie dovie scenes and you don't look at your buddy and wonder why a part was even in the movie at all. They give background on the characters like all cop vs. criminal movies, by debriefing the police about just "who they are chasing." Again it comes down to just how comfortable Affleck is with Boston, the setting works, the accent works, the suspense works, and the gritty tough Charlestown Boston locals just fucking work. Not as good as Gone baby Gone but close, mainly because the actresses in "The Town" are blown away by GBG. 8.375/10
The lure of seeing it for $5 on a slow Sunday was too much; The Expendables Moderately enjoyable, moderately disappointing. While I generally liked the action and violence, I HATED the overuse of fast cuts. What is the point of shooting the sequence if the audience sees so little of it? There was some decent humor, much of it self-referential, so my friend didn't get what I was smirking at most of the time. The pacing was good, but the "emotional" scenes, especially Mickey Rourke's story, were awful. The story was total rubbish. Not just bad or ridiculous, but insulting; Spoiler why the FUCK did Barney go back to the island, rescue the girl...and then LEAVE HER THERE? Oh, and why the FUCK is one of the main villains randomly resurrected at the end? Obviously, I have a soft spot for these kinds of films, and feel it's worth watching, but don't go in with high expectations. 60/100
Robin Hood (The new one) Was a bit of a nothing movie, neither historically accurate nor a rolling good time. The armour and weapons were tolerably authentic looking but once again Hollywood has ignored the fact that armour had any protective quality’s. Not once does an armoured man survive either an arrow hit nor a sword cut, why would you lug the weight around? This probably bothers me more that most people though. Another WTF moment is a beach landing scene where the French army are in what looks like WW2 landing barges powered by oarsmen? It's like a the opening scenes of Saving Private Ryan, except crap. Some people will say "who gives a fuck?" but imagine making a movie about the Vietnam war where the Viet Cong were armend with muzzle loaders? It's much the same thing. Ignoring the inaccuracies it is still a pretty poor effort, it never grabs you emotionally and in some places it’s just plain fucking stupid, it also seems to have been softened for a younger audience, with very little of the red stuff flowing. Which in a sword movie is unforgivable. I won’t be adding it to the collection nor revisiting it again. And I bloody love sword movies. 30/100
Usually I don't post here because most movies I see are a disappointment. But The Town is probably the best movie of 2010. It's about Bank Robbers in Boston. Just go see it.