Rant? I'm goofing around on E-mails From Crazy People while I eat my lunch, when my phone rings. The display says Madison, WI. I pick up the phone and give my name and department. A lady on the other end says she wants to confirm our address is number blah on blah street. I say that is correct. She asks me what floor we are on. I tell her. "Okay, thanks!" *click* I didn't even get to ask what this is about. I live in Virginia and work for a state agency, so I have no idea what business reason someone from Wisconsin would have for knowing our address. (the dude who orders supplies for our department has been out a couple weeks, so don't think it is a vendor) Anyway, I joked with a coworker that we will soon be getting a suspicious package or a visitor wielding an ax, then went back to reading. About a minute later I see this entry: http://emailsfromcrazypeople.com/2010/01/11/lets-prey/ Funny stuff, but this coupled with the joke I made now has Madison mixed up in my head with crazy. I think I'll call in sick for the next week.
RANT: Whenever I tell my girlfriend that she is beautiful, she denies it. Like, ALL the time. So last night we got to talking. She asked how pretty she was, I told her "to me you are the most beautiful person on the planet." She denied this and insisted that there must be someone prettier than her. So I told her that there are prettier people, but beauty is more than skin deep. So of course, like a true woman, she got pissed. Now I have to go out to the store, buy some flowers and try to explain to her that beauty is more than skin deep and she's the best girl in the world for me. In conclusion, my policy of complete honesty with my partner backfired. Now I don't know if i should explain to her that I am attracted to other people physically, but only her emotionally as well. But would that open up another can of worms? Sometimes I wonder why i didn't stick with one night stands.
Rant: So it seems that we (Those of us in central Oklahoma) are about to get one fucked up snow/ice storm. We got some pretty crazy shit on Christmas Eve if anyone remembers seeing that one the news. Apparently one of our local weatherman just posted this on Facebook: "Remember me saying we will never see another storm like this in our life time after the Christmas Eve Blizzard?....This one will make us forget about that one. This is turning into a catastrophic ice storm then snow storm. Honestly, I almost am in disbelief?! I am as serious as I can be: For those across central OK, prepare yourselves to be without power for a while starting late Thursday." Looks like I'll be stopping at the store tonight to get the essentials...Coors Light and canned food. Sorta-Rave: I'll at least have a good reason to take off some of tomorrow and all of Friday. Gonna suck though if we don't have power.
Rave?: I don't usually remember many of my dreams, but in the past little while I have been having the most vivid, realistic dreams ever. I wake up thinking the things I dreamed about actually happened. I don't know why I remember them suddenly but it's kinda fun.
Rave: Whenever a hotline investigation appears on my desk, puppies frolick, children giggle, and the scent of blueberry muffins fresh out of the oven wafts past my nose. Rave: I live in Bizarro World.
Rant: 2 Lorazepam and I still don't feel better. Something's terribly wrong here. Rant: I'm at work now, and working very very slowly. People are asking me if I'm sick. Ugh. Spoiler Rant: Took the first Lorazepam because I felt a panic attack coming, the second one because I didn't feel the first pill in time and was getting agitated. Now I'm REALLY feeling it.
Rave: I'm British. Football tonight-Manchester United vs Manchester City. The result... I don't fucking care! Who honestly gives a fuck about watching 22 overpaid morons kick a ball around for 90 minutes? As an Englishman, I love the hypocrisy of being thought of as a poof because I don't enjoy watching 90 minutes of said tight-shorted pretty boys trying to stick one phallic shaped object into another.
Rant: http://bit.ly/bsvo9H Jesus, the fuck, christ. Australia has refused classification of all all adult material depicting women ejaculating (god forbid women have orgasms) and has banned the import of any image of any woman with small tits. Because apparently a 40 year old with A cups might be too fucking hard to distinguish from kiddy porn. Apparently even if it's a Hustler publication with full certification of model authenticity by the fucking FBI - if she has A cups, it's a crime for me to look at her tits. I wonder if I could get a green card or something? Fuck Australia's politics.
Rant: I just read in my hometown's online paper that another person I went to school with passed away. I was never close to the guy other then to occasionally say hi when I saw him, but it sucks. He left behind 3 children and a wife.
Rave-tacular: Just got the Lost video game for the X360. I didn't even know there was a Lost video game. There I was at game stop, and BAM! Lost video game staring me right in the face. I bought it instantly and I will now be up the remainder of the night trying to get off this damn island! Ha! More Raving: This was such a good day I decided to make double chocolate muffins. Turns out that was a brilliant decision, because we got new neighbours and I totally brought them muffins, which they loved! Good karma is what it's all about. I'm going to win the lottery.
I just got new neighbors as well, perhaps I should bring them muffins. Rant: NOT! Why? Because they are Micronesians. Don't mean to sound racist or anything here, but when I first moved into my current shitty apartment the neighbors were micronesian, there were like 8 of them that lived in the studio, they were loud and annoying, and I almost got stabbed by one of their friends when they were having a little party. They are the Mexicans of Hawaii (no-racist). There are only three of them this time, but so far in my superficial judgment of them, I doubt they will be much better. The woman is missing like 4 teeth right in the front. Fucking iceheads man.
I feel like watching the State of the Union address should come with some sort of Citizenry Credit. Like a tax break, or a get-out-of-jail-free card. "Sir, you've been caught soliciting prostitutes." "Yeah, but I watched the State of the Union address this year." "On your way, sir."
Rant: What the fuck? My brain is dead assed sober and my body is flailing around like I'm auditioning for clown school. This is a new development. If I stand up it's like I have vertigo and off I go stumbling sideways with my ears ringing. This is not good after a bottle of Bailey's and three beers especially when my brain is still functioning normally and my body is refusing to follow directions. Fuck it, I'm going to eat some Ambien and see if I can bring my brain up to speed with my body.
Rave: I watched basketball instead of watching the State of the Union. Rave: Going to see my best friend and my namesake tomorrow. Rant: Said namesake is 6 weeks old and I haven't seen her since she was about 12 hours old. Rave: Straightened my naturally curly hair for the first time since I got it cut a couple weeks ago. I love my hair & I can't stop touching it.
RAVE: Got a BJ last night. RANT: Can't remember the last time I had one. RAVE: Got laid tonight. RAVE/RANT: Afterward, I spent an hour and a half getting enough studs in Lego Star Wars so that my son can buy the Emperor. It's late now, and I have a 12 hour shift ahead of me.
Rant: 9 month dry spell. Rant: I'm pretty sure I'm a born again virgin. Rave: I'm alive and such.... but still....
RAVE: just beat a top-10 team in the state in basketball. Outcoaching jackasses is always fun. Celebrating with lots of beer is even funner. Rant: my phone keeps wanting to autocorrect "funner" to "dinner" rave: if that's my biggest rant of the night, then life is good.
Rant: I am nowhere near where I thought I would be five years ago. I'm going nowhere fast. And I have no real idea what caused all of this. Rave: The depression is much easier to suppress when the boobie and booty threads are active.