RAVE after weeks of applying for several local jobs and hearing nothing in response, I got an email response from a recruiter first thing this morning for the single job in Denver I applied for last night. It's only PRN, and I was looking for something full time .... But still! The lack of responses had been very disheartening. RANT minor rant, and I can't even call it a rant. OMG this could potentially happen, freaking out a bit now!
RAVE: Moved house a few weeks ago... just realised there are two wireless networks in the area called "People's Front of Judea" and also "Judean People's Front"
RAVE: Today was my report day. Six months ago, my 9am was badly addicted to Oxy and Xanax, doc shopping, the whole nine. The boy and I were trying to build a new felony case against him for possession. I figured him for a lost cause after he got new battery charges in December. But something magical happened after the new year started. He completely cleaned up, doing the whole NA thing, looks good, sounds good, the whole nine. What completely threw me today was his telling me his new boss sees his potential and wants to put him through school to be an engineer. Kid's a genius at math and wants to go to college. After he left my office, I smiled to myself and thought "Yep. THIS is why I do this often thankless job." I remain hopeful for this kid and it's nice to realize I'm not jaded in this profession. Also nice to be surprised by the least likely of the bunch. Happy to be wrong, sir. RANT: Scrubbed out Storm's litterbox on Saturday morning, put in new litter like I do every week. I realized today he hadn't peed at all since Saturday. When I got home from work and realized how this could turn potentially fatal, I called my vet. He said to go to the emergency vet like, 10 minutes ago. RAVE: Urinary tract infection. Ten days of antibiotics and he'll be good as new. Rave because it's not a urinary blockage. RANT: Nearly $300 and 3 hours later...shit, the things we do for love.
Rant: My 23 year old niece just called and informed me that she's pregnant. I don't think my reaction to this news was quite what she expected. She's giddy. I yelled. A lot. The father is a dude she's known for 4 months and they think having a kid together is the greatest idea ever. Jesus. You feed them, send them to school, and buy them books and for what? So they can be fucking idiots and procreate like bunnies? I'm sure I'll love my grand niece/nephew, but I'm still very disappointed.
Rant: The only thing more fun than spiraling about whether a boy likes you or not when you have a big ol' crush on him is realizing that you're spiraling about whether a boy likes you or not when you're not even sure if you like him.
Rave: I was at the mall the other day and there was a wireless network called "FREE BUTT SEX!!!!!!!!!" Blatant false advertising though, you had to pay for the butt sex. Rant: After making it through two weeks of overnight-shift hell-on-earth Olympics coverage, I finally get to my last shift before vacation...and arrived to an email that my flight to LA tomorrow has been pushed back eight hours. Come on. Rave: In four days' time...Vegas, baby!
Rave: The following conversation happened. Sister's Friend: So, wait, what do you mean that blind people retire their guide dogs? Me: When the dogs get older, they can't do things as well as they could when they were younger, and since blind people rely on them for their safety, the dogs need to be replaced every 7 or 8 years or so. Sister's Friend: Yeah, but what happens to the dog? Me: The dogs are euthanized and then their brains and hearts are fed to future guide dog puppies so that they may gain their wisdom and power. Sister's Friend: Well that's a horrible, cruel system. But they are really smart dogs, so I guess it works. So sad, though.
Rant: I have a crushing headache after sitting behind a co-worker wearing a choking, eye-watering amount of perfume during an hour and a half long meeting. Rant: Microsoft Dynamics CRM is a piece of shit! I just lost a huge lead due to a system malfunction. Rant/Rave: I have been working harder than ever at the job this month and if I don't get some positive results and pull myself out of this slump, it'll just make it easier for me to leave. It's still a rant because I don't feel on track to reach my goals yet and my boss seems kinda clueless as to why I'm not satisfied even after we have met and directly discussed it. Regardless, I'm not giving up and throwing in the towel yet. Rave: Great weekend coming up... I'm shooting in a rifle competition on Saturday and will spend Sunday with my brother, shotguns, and a few hundred clays. Hopefully he doesn't become a target in the process.
RAVE: I swear on everything holy and unholy I had this conversation today. Guy: I'm calling on behalf of Naughty Probationer. Me: Okay, how do you know Mr. Probationer? Guy: He's my boyfriend, we've been together like, 10 years. Me: Ah, okay. Go on. Guy: Basically, he has an attorney and I know he's going to court next week, but I want to tell you what happened. Me: All right. Guy: Well, the cops stopped him when he was doing nothing wrong at all. Just standing there. Me: Okay. Guy: Right, so, the cop asks if he can search Naughty. He says no. But they search him anyway. Me: Got it. Guy: Naughty didn't know the pants he was wearing had some crack in the pocket. Me: ...I'm sorry? Guy: Naughty just moved in with a friend, and the friend loaned him his pants to wear. That's where the crack came from. Me: Ah, okay. Guy: So, he's basically in jail for something he didn't do. I'm hoping the person that gave him those pants will step up and do the right thing. Me: Let me get this straight. You expect whoever gave him pants with drugs in them to suddenly go to the police and admit to a felony? Is that what you're saying? Guy: Well, when you put it that way...well, yeah, that's what I'm hoping for. Me: Good luck with that. Have your boyfriend's attorney call me. Guy: Okay, thanks. I laughed about this all damn day. I should add that the guy is on probation for possession of cocaine. Props to my probie for originality.
Rave: Switching formula has led to the kid sleeping through the night for almost a week now. We're talking 12 straight hours of sleep a night, giving us a lot of time to sleep and relax. Rave: Wife agreed to me cutting back drastically on work hours to spend more time at home with the kid. This has led to multiple fantastic outcomes: --We have more in savings for our child's college than a lot of people I know have in their savings in general. Every cent I make (admittedly not much) plus some from my wife goes towards her college fund. She is only 4 months old. At this rate, even with the incredible increase in the cost of a college education, we should easily be able to afford college for her. --I am contacting the contractor to finish my dream basement (includes a wet bar, fireplace, and media room), which should be done around Christmas. I am unreasonably excited about this. --Wife and I are finally able to go on some dates, so I am finally seeing Dark Knight Rises on Thursday. Fuck and Yes. --I am the only guy I know whose sex life has increased since the kid was born. Apparently my wife is super turned on by the whole "nurturing father" thing. --Now that my daughter is napping and sleeping better, I am getting more video game time again. Rave: No rants today. My life is fucking awesome at the moment.
Rave: Home for the weekend for my nephew's first birthday. It's awesome being closer to the family so I actually can participate in things like this. Rant: Closer still involves a nine hour drive to get home.
Rant: My current work arrangement is such that I go in at 4am to a kennel full of dogs right by my fucking lonesome. Rave: I live one mile away from work and get up ten minutes before I'm supposed to be here. And if I'm late, who the hell is going to know? Sure, my boss could check the security tapes but she doesn't. Rant: Strange sounds, darkness and too many doors sufficiently creep me the fuck out. Rant: Meeting up with the ex today to get the one possession of mine that he's been holding hostage. He wants to be friends. After he told me I had a learning disability (I don't) he had the audacity to ask me if I had missed him (I don't).
Rant: Every time I think summer is going to fucking show up on this Godforsaken island it fucking rains again Rave: Finally found a Krav Maga dojo local to me. First class is tonight. I'm pumped as shit Rant: My company is outsourcing most of its support to Bulgaria. What this means for the majority of us I have no idea Rave: They've already migrated my position to something tolerable while I keep learning to code. Another few months and I might, I say might be ready to look for a junior coding position and hopefully move that into working from home.
Rant: I'm sick. I hate being sick. My throat feels like it's full of stones. I will offer a moderately enthusiastic handjob to anyone willing to bring me soup.
Rant: The past couple of weeks worth of flying are starting to wear on me. I've been flying nights Tuesday-Thursday, and the fucked up sleep schedules as a result are a pain in the ass for sure.
Rave: Met up with a friend I haven't seen in a while. Related Rant: I don't care if it is supposed to be good and costs $15 a shot. Tequila is still tequila and the hangover it causes....fuck today right in the beer/tequila shits.
Rave: Three weeks post-op (insert your best tranny joke here) today and can, for the first time i can remember, breathe through both nostrils at the same time.