Rant: Went all summer without a sunburn until the last meet of the season. It hurts to shower. Rave: When my dad retired a year ago, he started helping out at his friend's garage. So I'll take my car there when needed and take my dad out for breakfast and get to spend some extra time with him. This also serves a dual purpose of giving him computer lessons so he doesn't call me on the phone asking how to log into facebook again. The lessons go something like "Hey dad, you know you have 18 gmail windows open?" "I do? Huh, how'd that happen?" Of course, this takes place in between him shooting at the groundhogs that keep getting into his garden.
Rant: What should be a simple installation of a SCSI card and a new tape drive has turned into a gigantic clusterfuck because of a DOA drive. I've tried everything. Its fucking dead Jim Rave: Doesn't matter. Not my bag. I'm covering for someone else. Its their shit to deal with now. Drive has to be sent back? Not my bag Rave: 3 hours of overtime @ £30 an hour. I'll take it.
Rave: I'm about to take over a maintenance crew. That's a senior sergeant billet, and I'm taking it as a boot corporal. MSgt had three sergeants and a senior corporal to choose from, and he chose me instead. Fucking Rant: (spoilered for length and bitterness) Spoiler I consider myself a pretty nice guy. My leadership style is pretty laid-back; as long as the job is getting done, I want everything to be as low-stress as possible. I honestly love teaching people, and I think that being a mentor and guide is one of the greatest things about my job. I also have some of that boot eagerness to change stuff. Up until now, all of the leaders I've had have been dickheads. The kind who pull stupid shit and manufacture drama in order to "keep Marines on their toes." Well, now I'm in a position to change that. For the next two and a half years, I get to set the example and define leadership for my subordinates. Unfortunately, most of my time has been spent dealing with a shithead in our shop. He's my former roommate, the reenlisted fatbody, the one who watches anime all day and goes on Asberger's rambles about how "badass" characters are, the one who hadn't driven a car before coming here. Yep, he's the Private Pyle of the shop. I don't have a problem with quirkiness, weirdness, or even outright eccentricity. I'm an odd duck myself, and I despise the typical Marine Corps high-school-football-jocks-beating-up-nerds idiocy. I try not to judge, even when it grates on me. After all, that weird kid who talks to himself and picks his nose with a Q-tip might be the guy who spots a problem and saves the airfield from shutting down for three hours. The thing is, this kid has zero redeeming traits. Most people I've worked with have SOMETHING of value. We have a lantern-jawed hairy eyeballed caveman in our shop. He is about as intelligent as a rhododendron... but he can lift and carry pretty much anything. He's useful. Similarly, we have a couple kids who are little skinny bastards who can barely lift a sandbag... but they're damn good with soldering irons. They're useful too. This kid is none of the above. He's fat, dumb, slow, weak, and, worst of all, arrogant with the blissful certainty of the blatantly ignorant. Yep, he's a veritable genius, at least in his own mind. I'm reminded of that episode of South Park where Jimmy tells the Fish Dick joke and Cartman gradually deludes himself into thinking that he came up with it. He honestly thinks that he's the backbone of the shop, that he's oh-so-wonderful, and that I'm being a meaniehead for taking him to task for being a fucking retard. Oh, and he's a pathological liar. One of my friends was laughing about shooting tannerite in the desert; this was his cue to talk about how he was always building bombs in his garage as a kid. I had to teach him how to drive a car; this was his cue to talk about how his unregistered souped-up Camaro (or was it a Mustang? Or maybe a Corvette? Perhaps it was all three) won money and bitches in the cutthroat racing scene of upstate New York. One of the other guys shot a 339 on the rifle range; this was his cue to tell us the riveting story of how he got a 345 but got fucked out of it by a jealous lieutenant (And he knocked you all the way back to a 298? Damn, he must've been pissed). The MSgt is already pissed as hell at him, and the following conversation ensued: Top: I told you something before you went on thirty days of leave. Do you remember what I told you? Dipshit: Uh... Top: Let me remind you. You were put on BCP [Body Composition Program - it's for the fatasses] because you were ten pounds overweight. That means that your [evaluations] suck, you can't get promoted, and you basically hate your life. I told you that if you lost weight, even just a couple pounds, I would work my ass off to get you off the program. Any of this sounding familiar? Dipshit: Yes, master sergeant. Top: So, being a newly reenlisted Marine with the desire to turn over a new leaf, you went and lost the weight, right? Dipshit: Uh... Top: No. No, you didn't. You gained fifteen pounds. FIFTEEN FUCKING POUNDS. Dipshit: ... Top: How is that even POSSIBLE? That's a pound every TWO DAYS! Alright, I have to ask this. Were you food raped? Dipshit: No, master sergeant. Top: No, seriously - were you raped by food? I want to know. I need to know. I need to find this food rapist so I can put him behind bars. And I need your help. It's okay. He can't hurt you anymore. You're safe here. Dipshit: I wasn't food raped. Top: So it was CONSENSUAL! YOU'RE A FOOD WHORE! Dipshit: uh... Top: So basically you said, "Fuck you, MSgt. Whaddeva! I'ma do what I want!" Dipshit: N- Top: You're fucking done. I am going to run you until you pass out, every single day. I am going to feed you celery and carrots until you grow fucking bean sprouts out of your ass. Keep fucking smirking, too. You know what? Fuck you. Get out of my office before I start throwing office supplies at you. As a result, another corporal and I have been taking him running. While running, Dipshit makes sarcastic comments under his breath every step of the way, ranging from suicidal to murderous to just plain disrespectful. And I've had it. I've had enough of his shit, and I'm looking for one good reason why I shouldn't ruin this kid's fucking life and drive him to suicide. I didn't make him reenlist. I didn't make him fat. I didn't make him a stupid, delusional, disrespectful maggot who by every right should be shot at dawn behind the HAZMAT locker. But somehow it's my fault that I'm running his ass into the ground, holding him accountable for the things he says, and not putting up with his ignorant, lazy faggotry. Fuck shit ass cock. Rant: Thanks to Dipshit, I now have shin splints. That's what happens when you run five miles a day at a 10:00 mile pace, kids. Shuuuuuffle shuffle shuffle! Rave: Cougar FWB is coming back from Tuscon tomorrow.
Rave: I made a cocky asshole employee cry today, he absolutely deserved it. Rave: Life is good. Better than it's been in a long time. I'm happy.
RA(tbd): I was on my way to work this morning when I saw a little dog crossing the road in front of traffic. I tried to catch her to check her tags, but she bolted down the street. She turned a corner and wandered into a backyard, and I still couldn't catch her. There was no-one home at the house, so I wandered around their yard until I saw an icecream container full of water. Figuring that was all the confirmation I was getting, I closed their gate and locked the dog inside. So, here's hoping that I helpfully returned a lost dog, rather than kidnapping a dog off the street and stashing it at someone's house to the puzzlement of all concerned.
Rave: I move in just over a week to Brooklyn. Rave: My girlfriend is coming in to town tomorrow. We are going up to my grandfathers cabin up in Canada.** Rant: Gonna be a lot of driving for 2 days of vacation, but totally worth it. **Question (I know this probably isn't the place for it, but a pm or rep would be really appreciated. Can I turn my Iphone onto airplane mode before I cross the border to avoid charges on my phone? I would like access to my music library but I don't want to fuck my bill up. Thanks.)
Rant: A client needed to charge his iPhone and was looking around for a wall socket. I suggest he just plug it into the USB port of his laptop to charge. He looks at me with a blank expression and says, "How am I supposed to charge it without iTunes installed?" VP of IT Operations, folks.
Rant: I just saw something on facebook that made me irrationally angry. Rave: I'm going to work it off with some farmer carry lunges.
RANT: You're wearing nice clothes, you just got out of a shiny new car, and you can drop $15 on a small meal for lunch, but you can't drop an extra dollar for a children's leukemia charity balloon? Fuck you. I have nothing but the two-hundred-some dollars in my wallet that are supposed to be for college savings, and I bought ten of the things. No one's asking you to pay some welfare junkie to sit on their ass (well, the government demands it, but I digress), it's for fucking charity. For children. Who have leukemia. Burn in hell, you self-absorbed subhuman shitbags. At least this song makes me happy.
Rant: Opened up the mail box at lunch and there was a letter "Royal Canadian Mounted Police - "wexton"". My heart stopped, i was like WTF did i do. Rave: It was just my paper work for renewing my restricted gun license.
Rant I'm sick of not having a job, it's driving me fuckin' crazy! Rave The ex-bitch, I mean girlfriend still doesn't want anything to do with me. I must have 'White Knight' syndrome to have been with her as long as I was. No wonder I got high!
Rant- 3 months ago one of my employees stole IP and sold it to the competition- a clear violation of her nondisclosure. She went in on the weekend and uploaded everything she could find, tried to delete her hard drive, and stole paper backups. She never showed up to work the next day and sent an email to employees and clients saying she was leaving and to contact her through the competitor. I considered litigation at first, but quickly realized she had filed bankruptcy before. I also know lazy she was and would fuck up on her own. Eventually, we would sweep in to save her "clients", at a small premium of course. Rave- The competition reneged and she is going to lose her house. She emailed me her resume today. Karma is a bitch.
Rant/Rave:Odd nigh tonight. As much fun as I had, I still not sure why I enjoyed myself. Felt so old and so out of place. Think I need to get away from the UK again and soon. This tiny Island just isn't big enough.
Rave: Trip to Seattle for a dance weekend (Lindy hop once again), possibly some blues. Then commencing a 2 week road trip with a buddy. Rave: The new girl is awesome, and will literally have sex when ever I want, because she wants it as well. Rant: 2.5 weeks of no sex cause I am not in town. LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAME Rant: Ankle is still sore from when I rolled it Rave: Went for a dive today, it was awesome. Rave: New phone, Samsung Galaxy Note, its amazing, and fits my hands, cause I have massive hands Rave: Got the phone cause of a new deal with the cell company, lots of data, unlimited messaging, lots of voice, caller id, voicemail and more for less than I was paying. Thank you very much and fuck apple and their iPhones, glad I sold it to pay for the new phone. New phone cost $300, sold iPhone for 300. Win!
Rave:TGIF. This has been one bitch of a week. Financial bombshell hit my desk at work, my wife's cousin, a nun (and the only one I've known personally that I've liked) died and has had my wife down and upset all week, two of my sponsees are going through some serious personal shit and are calling a lot and at all hours, and the weather certainly hasn't done anything to improve my mental well being (108 yesterday). So, I'm just going to kick it back this weekend, get a massage on Sunday, smoke a turkey, maybe see TDKR (finally), and quiet my mind. My new mantra: There are no "big deals".
Rave: I have travelled more in the past year and a half than anyone in my family and very very few of my friends. Seeing Europe is fantastic. As much as Ryanair sucks its cheap and I get to see some cool places Rant: Europe has bedbugs. I'm not saying that the states don't but fuck me if I have never seen one. Brought some of these motherfuckers back home to good old Sutton and now having to throw out a bunch of shit, steam other shit, perhaps call in an exterminator and maybe have to throw out a mattress. Fuck dude. I don't want to deal with this nasty shit.
RANT: So my oldest boy (12 y/o in 7th grade) finished up with two-a-day football practices yesterday and we were driving home. He has never been very interested in sports, but this year he decided he wanted to play. He is the smallest kid on the team (90 lbs) and has absolutely no experience. I have worked with him over the summer and he is trying hard and has all the heart in the world, but the other kids are still WAY ahead of him. So I told him how proud I was of him sticking with it because I remembered how hard it was to bust your ass in practice every day when you KNEW you weren't going to play much, if at all; and I remembered how hard it was not to just quit. He looks at me and says, "Well, I never really thought of not getting to play much. I was just imagining what it would be like to catch a game-winning touchdown pass this year." Great. Way to piss on your kid's dreams there, Superdad. Shit. RAVE: Kid has a GREAT attitude. Honeybadger in the making.
Rant: Started an awful job today. Call centers and their lack of training can go to hell. Rant: There doesn't seem to be much alternative for student jobs. Rave: Final Fantasy 6! Anyone know of any jobs in Gold Coast Australia?