Rave: My team's midseason meet was this weekend, meaning dry season is over, and I'm free to booze it up whenever I want. Rant Apparently not drinking for a month will do terrible things to your alcohol tolerance, as I found out last night. I think I maybe got ten drinks in me before I decided that stopping would be a good idea. Rave I also forgot that alcohol functions as a performance enhancing drug in bed. My girl was very happy last night. Rant She forgot to mention that sometimes she bleeds out of her cooter, and that last night was one of those times. Now I have blood on my sheets and bloody fingerprints all over my room. Awesome.
Rant: I bought a new pair of cheap ass jeans to wear at work when I am in the warehouse doing repairs, and I seem to have had a really bad reaction to the metal on the button. I have a massive painful boil right were the button is.
Rave: BC is going to the Emerald Bowl....to play USC. Bring it the fuck on. Rant: 50-50 at best that I'm gonna be able to get out to the game. Day after Christmas and $500 airfare. Although I was gonna go out to California at some point during Christmas exodus anyway, so maybe that way I can justify spending a few extra bucks to see the game. Rant: Dropped almost $200 at the bar on Friday night. So maybe not.
Big Rave: My trial version of Office 2007 expired about a week ago, so I decided I was going to buy my own. I found a website that offers a steep discount for students. I'm not a student. I haven't been a student for two years. My college email address still works though, because I had it forwarded through my Gmail account. I entered that email address and it accepted it. I was offered Microsoft Office 2007 Ultimate (price at Best Buy: $679.99) for $72.95. Fuck. Yes.
Rant: I walked into my family screaming at each other like a bunch of Howler Monkey's with megaphones yesterday. In my house. I stormed out before I freaked the fuck out on all of them for acting like primal morons. Jesus, I hate yelling people. They all know I'm getting old, but if I get pissed off bad things will happen. They all know not to test me, but still they do it. What. The. Fuck? You piss me off in my own house and expect bad things not to happen? That only happens once or twice before I flip out. And that was the last time. Next time everyone is getting a vacate the premises now notice at the top of my lungs. I stay mellow about shit for a long, long time but when I raise my voice they know they've fucked up big time. I'm dealing with enough stress as it is with my father's widow trying to steal my house, I don't need to deal with a bunch of primates staying in my house and pissing me the fuck off. Rave: On the plus side, my legs seem to be working again. Not as good as they should, but working nonetheless.
Rave: Work Christmas party was last night. I managed to have a great time without getting too drunk or making an ass of myself at the after-party. Rave: One of the instructors at my yoga studio recently bought the studio from the original owner. I went to their grand opening party night and had a great time. Great Thai food, wine, beautiful henna on my hands, and I won 10 free yoga classes in a raffle. Rant: Fruit cleanse starts tomorrow. This will be my first.
Jesus. I'm still not settled down, perhaps I have a bunch of suppressed rage? I'm thinking that would just be another reason not to act like a bunch of fucking jungle animals in my house when you know I don't like it and I'm given to occasional acts of random violence. Poking me with a stick is a very bad idea, and they all know this. I'm past random acts of violence using firearms, but I'm about ready to tell the whole bunch of them to keep out of my house especially when I've pulled them aside and talked to them about this shit before. You don't act like that in my house. I don't cause family wars bitching at your family when I stay at your house because they annoy me, how dare you come to my house and scream at the family and cause a war in mine? Bull fucking shit. If I can keep my mouth shut so can you.
Rant: Going to fail a class this semester, due to poor C4D animation skills Ranter: I've had 4 months to learn, just always decided to work on something else. Rave: secret project is underway.
Rant: Woke up this morning to snow on the ground and untreated roads. So it begins, winter....so it begins.
Rant: I apparently have to memorize and recite a ten minute dialogue in Chinese by tomorrow. I just started trying to learn the fucking language. Rant: I have to sell my textbooks before finals because I cannot afford to pay the minimum payment on my credit cards.
Rave: Relatives are gone, it's 10:00 in the morning and I just sat down with a case of beer. Goddamn do I need it to soothe my frazzled psyche. Rant #1: I was awakened at 6 AM because one of their vehicles wouldn't start and I had to go deal with it. I finally got it started and sent them on their happy way. It was well worth being woke up at that ungodly hour to see their taillights disappear in the distance and know that my life will return to peace and tranquility until... Rant #2: Christmas. Then the whole brood will return and piss me the fuck off again. At least after that I won't have to deal with them again for awhile unless they collectively decide to descend upon my place on Flag Day or some damn thing.
Rant: I sat on my left testicle yesterday and it's still sore. I really should start wearing boxers again.
Rant: Fuck Sears. I ordered a pair of winter boots online (ya know, because it's winter). They say they're gonna be here on the 3rd. Fine, they don't get here until today. I'm a size 13. I ordered a pair of size 13's. The box says size 13. The boots are size 10. I call Sears Customer Service, which is pretty obviously located in fucking Manila, because I could barely understand this broad. She decides that they have to re-charge my card for the replacement shoes. Uh, no. I explain to her the concept of "you fucked up, not me", and she relents. Then she helpfully tells me that she'll waive the shipping charges on the new pair...right before she tells me I have to pick them up at a Sears store. What the fuck? Why would I pay for shipping on a replacement item that's not even coming to my house? After berating her about that for a while, she finally tells me when I can go down to the store and exchange these size 10's for the real pair: December 23rd. It's freezing fucking cold and icy right now, so I ordered some winter boots for precisely this occasion. Too bad I have to wait 2 more fucking weeks now. THANKS YOU FUCKING FUCKS. People, don't shop online. Just go in and buy shit.
Rant: I wonder if girls wearing iPods in the gym = don't want to be bothered. If so, I go to school with prudes. If not, I'm missing out. Rave: Whoever designed that leg curl machine so that the girls have to lie on their stomachs with their asses in the air deserves a medal. There was some wonderful talent using that device this evening.
Rave: I've started working out again. Rave: I've lost about ten pounds. Rant: A human being should not lose weight, and be just below 300! I mean I know I'm tall, but DAMN! Rant: Broke up with a woman I love. BIG FUCKING RAVE! For the first time in my life, I know what it feels like to be a woman. All the girls who were "joking" about wanting to hook up with me if I ever broke up with my girl, have come through in a major way. I seriously think my penis is tired of sex. ADDITIONAL RAVE! One of my exes has discovered a love for anal since we broke up, and has spent quite a few nights demonstrating this to me.
RAVE: First aid and CPR training tonight. And I got teamed up with a smoking hot chick for practicing the techniques. My favorite part was practicing the heimlich maneuver on her. Yay for wrapping my hands around a random hot stranger and thrusting her from behind in a socially acceptable way!
Rant: Water was turned off for a BS reason on friday. Everything was taken care of, and it should have been turned back on today. It was not. Fuck. I need to fucking shower.