Rant: A friend just moved back to the UK today. Real, true, good friends are hard to come by in a foreign country, I may have man-teared a little. Then I lit a cigarette and punted an infant to redeem myself. Rant: The girl I've been the casual FWB/booty call of, who I've developed feelings for (what a fag), just got picked up in a helicopter by the owner of my sportsbook. How the fuck do I compete with that? As they say here, "Billetera mata galan." Translates roughly to "have money or you're up the creek with a turd for a paddle." Rave Fuck me I'm hammered.
Rave: Formally signed my new lease without any hitches. First time to be doing this, so it's a good feeling. Rave: Makers Mark and some new show on the Cooking Channel called "Drink Up." It's all about different kinds of alcohol. Makes for good tv.
Rave: Southwestern style Taquitos in a bag. They taste just like Chili's Southwestern Eggrolls, which I love. Rant: I normally dip them in sour cream for optimum taste pleasure. My fresh thing of sour cream was rotten through and through. Rave: I guess I'll be slightly less fat than I was planning on being tomorrow.
Rave: My father and I were fixing my friend's car the other day and we were having a discussion. It lead to this exchange: Dad: I've crossed the border lots of times. I brought drugs in too. I flew a helicopter full of opium from Laos to Vietnam Me: What? ...I thought you were trying to stop people from bringing in drugs? Dad: Well, I was. Me: So why the hell would you bring more drugs in? Dad: Listen...opium sold for $1000 a kilo. After I flooded the market they could barely sell it for $200 a kilo. They hated me. I don't care. I could have sold it all and never had to work again, but I don't care about money. I didn't make any money off of that. The only reason I'm alive today is because I do the right thing. My father is an enigma unto himself.
Rave: Eaves troughs are cleaned; no more water pouring over them in rainstorms. Double Rave: I used the hose to flood the side of the house and am now 99.9% certain that the water is finding its way into the basement via the windows. This means that when they are replaced with proper ones in two weeks the problem will be solved. Rant? For one of the few times in my life I am undecided. The feature wall in the basement (and main wall of the master bedroom) is going to dictate the rest of the colours. I have it narrowed down to: Cool, sophisticated and will look like an upscale hotel room when complete. Downside is that walls and carpet should probably be grays; I'm more of a warm palette kinda person. Spoiler Funky, bold and fun. Upside is that it better matches the wood and bed clothes, and also wall/carpet choices will be a warm tan. Downside is that I might get sick of it quicker and I'll be held hostage regarding the accent colours I can pick. Spoiler [/first world problem]
Rant: I have misplaced my phone twice while drunk in the past three days. I am expecting to hear back from a job interview at some point this week. It is a very good opportunity and would hate for it to be fucked up as a result of this.
Rave: Going after the hot older woman across the street from me. Just spent a few hours with her at the pool. Pretty sure she's up for it.
Rant: So I'm on the sanding part of painting my car and sure enough the sander breaks today damn. Rave: At least I'm half way down. Maybe some corona to celebrate.
Rant: trimmer ran out of juice halfway through manscaping today, resulting in about what you would expect if you only mowed one side of the grass Rave: Wife shrugged it off and still let me have a go. What a trooper.
RANT: I left my 5 page essay for my summer school BS distance learning class until tonight. It's due by 7 a.m. tomorrow. These are my choices: Yeah, those are going to suck. There is no rave.
Rant: I was at a bbq earlier tonight and this HUGE fat dude that had been drinking Jager and eating spicy Chinese sausage all day passed out and shit in the pool. He let out this enormous fart that bubbled up the water and suddenly there was a brown slick around him. Rave: I was out of the pool at that point. Rave: This bbq almost occurred at my house. Dodged the big one on that one as I don't think I could swim in my pool after someone shit in it. I'd drain all 40,000 gallons and start fresh.
Rave: Taught my first Scuba Class in Victoria. Rave: Victoria is awesome, the weather is so much better than the frozen shit hole I was in. Rant: Sore from teaching all weekend. Spoiler Rave: I got to drive this awesome van. If this doesn't screen pedo I don't know what does.
Rave: Pretty good weekend with the friends at their cabin. Another cabin trip next weekend with some other friends, should be good. Rave: Looking at a new car again. Well, a used one but it'll be new to me. Going to drop a few more dollars than the last one. Rant: Something went weird on my computer, it's managed to drop all my settings on windows and went back into default state. Strange that all the files are on my desktop but nothing else. Edit Rave: Inception. Holy fucking good movie.
Rant: Instead of a glass of water, drunk me put a fucking glass of vodka on my night stand. When I woke up hungover, I went to gulp water like normal, and ended up hacking vodka all over my sheets. You're an asshole, drunk me. Rave: But thanks for the glass of water that was behind the glass of vodka.
Rant: It's job application time. I'm a semester away from finishing college and wondering exactly how do I go about landing a job. I mean, I know how in theory...apply, apply, apply, but I was wondering whether it's a waste of time to apply online? Should I be simply hopping from job fair to job fair?
Rave: Drunk and tired at the grocery store last night, I decided to hop in one of the fat person scooters to do my shopping. Those things fucking rule. It almost makes being fat worth it. Rant: Ironically enough I then got into a fight with a fat lady and her friend at the check out line. I had about 4 things, and these bitches rushed in front of me with a shopping cart full of like 300 fucking things in the "10 items or less" line. When I verbally assaulted them, they informed me that they were tourists from Ohio. Really? Is the "10 items or less" line exclusive to our beach town? Is the "10 items or less" line a foreign concept to Ohioians? I don't think it is. After quietly lambasting their overall lameness, the fat one eventually flipped out and started cursing me very loudly for the entire store to hear, painting a picture for the crowd of an innocent dude getting yelled at by a gross and fat tourist. I won the crowd with some loud comments recommending some apples instead of the two tubs of butter, and suggesting that she put the receipt in her pocket instead of eating it. I don't like fat people and I don't like tourists (unless they're hot and have secks with me). I'm not saying you need to be totally shredded and hot like me, but at least eat a vegtable and do some jumping jacks every now and then.
RAVE: Went to Cedar Point for the first time in over 6 years yesterday, still the best amusement park around. Before we even made it into the park, some lady offered an extra free ticket to my sister. I guess there still is a few good people around today. Hit pretty much every ride I wanted to go on without any ridiculously long lines. RANT: The Maverick stopped running while we were in line due to the lightning. That's the only ride there I still need to give a shot. Not that surprising, but CP seemed like more of a white trash/hilljack convention than ever. Oh well, didn't stop me from enjoying myself.