RANT: Some douchebag smashed the window of my car today at school. Why? I had a couple monitors on the headrests for my kids to watch cartoons on long drives. $1500 in damage (just a quick estimate from the body shop) to steal two monitors that come in a $170 package at Best Buy. The fuckhead didn't even take the DVD player that was on the rear seat, he just took the two tiny monitors. But wait, $100T2, how the hell is a smashed window $1500? Because when he swung his crowbar or whatever, he didn't have the world's best aim, and caught the pillar! Oh, and before he busted out the window, it looks like he tried to pry the front door open, which damaged both doors. RAVE? I was debating getting the car repainted, now about 1/3 of it has to be done. RANT: If I don't do the whole car, it's going to look like shit.
Rant: Just did two twelve hour days on lates because some jets are doing late night bombiing missions. Rave: Get to start at one in the afternoon today. Rave: Grandfinal this weekend, chance to go back to back premiers.
Rave- I don't care what kind of magic-picture type stretch marks she has, I'd fuck octomom. And I'd probably enjoy it.
Rant: When chorizo goes bad, it's like a ninja let loose in your intestinal tract. It sneaks in there, then wrecks your shit with a sword. I feel like I am tethered to my bathroom. Rave: Parlor Mob.
RAVE: Just woke up from a nap. The new updates are awesome. I really don't have much else after this....
Rant/Rave??: This is a text from a friend of mine. I'm not sure if this is the most ironic or hilarious FML I've ever read: " oh my shitty day gets better, turns out the guy that fixed up my Lambos door rust painted the doors a different color yellow than the rest of the car. So back the shop it goes, FML " Rave: That sure as shit is not my problem.
Rant: I got puked on tonight. My brother comes back from work today with a Hooter's gift card that's about to expire. So we went there, and I hadn't even gotten into the fucking place when some asshole bursts through the entry door, puts his fist to his fucking mug and spews like a lawn sprinkler. Luckily (if you can call it that) it was mainly beer. But I still got fucking puked on! Yeah the motherfucker picked up the fried pickles and my beer, but I....well you get the idea. People wonder why I don't go out. Last time some asshole I'd never met in my life punched me in the face when I refused to buy a drink that he demanded I buy for him. I'm 0-2 now. Fuck.
RAVE: Just spent the last 10 days on vacation. 5 days hammered and partying in Toronto, a couple days in London, Ontario visiting the family, and a couple of days relaxing at a friend's place in Winnipeg. Heading home tomorrow. Actually quite refreshed and ready to head back to work. First real stress relief in 14 months. Mission accomlished.
Rant: How I long for the days where I could kick back, listen to Jay-Z's 99 Problems with a smile on my face knowing a bitch wasn't my problem. Rave: 1 Month and my new personal theme will be Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Free Bird".
RANT: Ambien isn't working anymore. I didn't even know that was possible. Please let this be due to stress levels even higher than normal and not due to the actual pill's failure. I like this regular sleep thing, I don't want to go back to insomnia.
Rant: Worked 12 hours today. Rave: I'm going to pay off my credit cards without any interest! Rave: Them Crooked Vultures are coming! Rave: Started a blog, lots of readership already. My stories are a bit Tucker Max-like but my voice is totally different, I'm trying to shy away from that comparison as much as possible. Also, non-fiction bloggers know that to establish a good narrative some embellishing is natural. I'd give Tucker's stories 30%, give or take. Mine, so far, are much less enhanced (but also less L-O-L) but I like that.
Rave: I'm now a scuba instructor bitches! Rave: Awesome fucking party to celebrate the fact Rant: Hung right the fuck over Bonus Rave: Wife Swap is on, they are switching wifes with a super hippy family and a hardcore cowboy, like wife should be barefoot and preggers in the kitchen hardcore. I need to get some popcorn!
Rave: Date with a taller, more muscular, overall hotter, nicer, funnier, 10 years older version of the ex. Fuck yes for upgrades.
Rave: Completely tearing down the pillars of a vegetarian's reasoning methodically by explaining that she isn't doing anything to facilitate a change against animal cruelty by simply not purchasing meat products. Explaining to her that she should just instead purchase from the farmers market, from farmers who don't treat their animals improperly. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a hippie. I buy all my shit from the grocery store and don't think twice while eating it. But this nonsense that you're preventing animal cruelty by not buying any meat products is simply hippie garbage logic. That's like saying you're making a change by voting for no candidate in the election. You have wasted your vote that you have the right to as a human being. By not eating any meat you have not changed the way the industry operates. Unless they see a significant shift in purchases towards humanely treated products, they aren't going to change their ways. Attention Hippies: You can no longer tell me that you don't eat meat because you don't like the way it's treated. You're full of shit. Bring me a new argument to debunk, asshats. Postnote: Hippie logic tried to fight back, and failed. I honestly think there needs to be a mental diagnosis and condition worked up for these people.
Rant: Fucking mice are still running around my house. Thus far the body count stands at 16 that I know of and God only knows how many from the two jumbo boxes of De-con they've eaten. The past few days I've taken to shooting at them with my airsoft Thompson M1A1. Not a cheap $20 airsoft, one of these bad boys. 380+ fps plus 650 rounds per minute. They really don't like that shit at all. C'mon, even I'm not crazy enough to fire a real gun at a mouse. At least in my house.
RANT: God damn, it is like a fucking drought here. Seriously, one guy is in vegas so obviously not helping my situation. The other dude is dry, fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck fuck. Bock Bock Fuck my life. edit: swoosh, for scraping!
Rave: The Mrs.' and I were having relations last night, and right when I was cumming she said "Fuck me like I'm Al-Qaida," a la Californication. She's a tricky minx that one.