I have LOTS of friends. On-line...

Since I've been a member of the rmmb and now this board (almost four years) I have not told one person I am a member. Not even one of my best friend's. Not one, not even once. It's because I have no idea how to bring it up. The only way I could see myself telling someone is if they said "are you a member of any online messageboards"? That would be my only opening. How do you say "I heard this and that from some strangers I talk to on the internet"?

 

My wife pretty much knows, but other than that I don't think it's anybody's business if I post on a messageboard or not. The great thing is the anonymity about the whole thing, right? Which in turns provides some sense of [false] privacy. Which is good enough for me.

As for the expectation of meeting people in real life vs. online, I wanted to comment on one of shegirl's statements (paraphrased): I have enough friends in the real world, and can barely keep up with them, why would I need more friends?

OK, anybody who's working full time, has a wife of significant other, is close (in proximity or emotion) to their family, and has to manage a household knows it's hard as fuck to keep up with everyone you want to. I'd dare say impossible. The times I met folks from the old board, I was typically on travel, and wanted someone to have a drink with and conversation with; purpose was served, life goes on, no real "friend" to keep up with was created. A zero sum game really.

However, and my wife still thinks I'm crazy about this, I did fly half way across the country to stay with an old moderator and his family for the weekend, and saw three straight days of concerts with all of his really good friends. We were in to the same scene and it was very natural to be in that situation with those people. I ate with his family, played ball with his kids, and slept in his guest room. It was one of the greater experiences in LIFE, let alone just some random meet-up with someone on a message board. Should you keep up with that type of person? Surely, months later he was in my area of the world and was subsequently accommodated him.

My feelings: life's too fucking short to say I have enough friends or have experienced enough interactions. Do I understand that most interactions today are petty? Absolutely. But to think that life is what it is and always will be, no matter what your age, is a knee on it.

 

I have to second everyone who says this place is a compliment to our real lives, and that that's the best way to use these forums.

I don't take this place too seriously and when I think about it now, there's probably ways to make it better (i.e. I've never read the drunk threads), but its a great place to review a book or movie, yak about the game, talk about the important issues of the day, etc etc almost because a lot of the time, I'm offered perspectives I would never get from my friends or family.

And therein lies the rub. It's a great way to expand upon the things you do anyway in real life (another example, I received great feedback on what to get my friend in South Korea from this very board). You just gotta know how to use it. When you do, it can be a great little addition to your every day life.

 

The problem with "injecting more intelligence" is that funny, smart and interesting threads are difficult to come up with. How many variations of sex-related threads could we conceivably have here? That being said, I completely agree with Beefy and Frebis.

Also, who is still complaining about getting banned on RMMB? Seriously guys?

 

Agreed. Like a few other posters, I lurked around the RMMB for about a year before I decided to post anything. You know, to get a feel for the community and such. What kept me coming to the RMMB and even now, TiB, is the entertainment that I get from reading about different topics.

When I'm having a shitty day, I come to the TiB for a few laughs. Some of you are fucking hilarious while some of you are about as funny as Cancer, but all in all, I enjoy reading the opinions of other people. I like knowing how people think.

Just my two cents.

 

I encourage you to join in on the drunk threads. I don't mean sit at home and get drunk in front of your laptop refreshing TiB every 5 minutes. But If you happens to be drunk at home and check the board, post something funny that happened to you that night. There are no "old friends" here. We are all strangers. This place won't continue to exist if nobody posts man, and those of us in the drunk thread would love some company because we are all obviously lonely pathetic fucks!

 

Focus: The internet is where I grew up. I'm 19, and when I was around 10-12 during my high point in flirtation with girls the internet was in boom. AIM, MSN, Emailing, Texting, it took a hold of my life along with others. Not only that but I also have a rather bad case of Eczema, and allergies [200+ allergies]. So I've been hidden in my room for a while. I'm also a Network Tech working 12 hours 5 days a week. It leaves me for little to no time to socialize. I have a lot more friends over the internet than I do in real life. Not to mention, I can talk to girls a lot better over the internet because of my lack of self esteem. Without communities on the internet, I would be lost.

Alt. Focus: I think there's a lot to gain or lose. I'm a perfect example. I gained a lot of friends, and girlfriends, through the online communities. But I've also lost a few IRL friends. I stopped going out as much, instead I will stay home and talk to my friends. Weight gain, and lack of real life socializing. Lets face it, you act a little different behind a computer than you do in person. I know I do. I'm a lot better with my words online, and in person I stutter, minimal eye contact, no smiling, mix up words, talk too fast. I'm overall just very awkward in person. I know I've lost a lot of socializing skills over the years but I've gained friends as well.

And for TiB, I enjoy it because I learn a lot. English, grammar, socializing, psychology, relationship problems, sex problems life issues, everything. TiB is amazing.

 

Focus: I actually find it hard to gauge how important these communities are to me. When RMMB closed down, I didn't really care all that much and was mostly just concerned with how I was going to waste my time from that point on. That said, I had been a member at RMMB for several years, and having a chance to see the different pieces of wisdom and viewpoints interspersed with poop and blowjob jokes from so many people with so many experiences is something that has probably stuck with me. I can't really isolate anything in particular, but I'm from a generation that embraces ideas over the internet with the same mindset as I do ideas expressed through other forms of media, and as such, I'm sure they've become ingrained in my consciousness somehow.

Outside of that, I've only had a small amount of contact with people from here, outside of rep points and the occasional post. I've had extended conversations with a few people over PM, have two people on Facebook, and met up with one other member on her trip to Toronto on a weekend when I happened to be there as well. There is also one other guy I went to a concert with that I met playing video games at the age of 15 and continued contact with until we decided the other person was normal enough to go see Megadeth with around age 21 or so. Other than that, there are a few of you that go to my school that I am reasonably sure I have had contact with in passing due to my involvement with different facets of the institution, and that's about it.

Random additional thoughts: I do find it weird how some people find it when you mention meeting someone you met online. The guy I met up with for the concert was someone I had spoken to for years, had on Facebook, etc etc, and unless it was the most well-executed fake persona in history, I figured I had a pretty good handle on what sort of person he was. When we went to the concert, I had my girlfriend at the time with me, and just told her a friend of mine from out of town would be coming down to stay with me for the weekend. When he left, I gave it an hour or so, then just randomly asked her what she would think of meeting someone in person that she met online. She gave some answer about how weird it would be, only losers would do that, blah blah blah. I then asked her what she thought of my friend, and she said he seemed really cool, he should come down more, blah blah blah. I laughed and told her it was the first time I had ever actually met the guy, and she was kind of shocked, but it quickly changed her mind on the subject.

 

Me too. I bring up things I've read online in so many conversations, and sometimes they're things very specific. I'm part of a smaller forum nominally focused around hip-hop, but really more of a private social circle (guests can't read posts, and there is definitely a core group). Some folks have been on there since 1999. So I obviously feel like I know these people better; I'm Facebook friends with a couple of them, and we have had numerous conversations. So when I bring up something they said, I usually just call them "my friends" and hope people don't ask how I know them.

I certainly don't keep it a secret, though; if I find something funny or insightful on here or on the other forum, I'll call my roommate over and show it to him, or show my friends if they're around. A member on here goes to my school, but I don't think I've ever met him.

I kinda draw the line at actual personal contact. Phone conversations, meetups, etc. Not a very strong line; let's call it a chalk line. It just seems... dangerous somehow. I guess all those warnings from my parents stuck. I'm definitely more open to meeting someone from the smaller board; it feels like I know them better.

I've been way too involved with forums in the past, so I'm pretty happy with my level of involvement. I hang out with a lot of smart/funny people in real life. When I didn't, I was definitely more involved in internet shit. At this point of my life, all of that just feels like railfanning to me - some weird little niche that I was involved in because I had little else in my life. That's not to say that I would like this place to disappear, though. I did feel something when the RMMB shut down; that place had a lot of knowledge and worth mixed in with the stupid shit.