So you know how people always compare how booze tastes to fruits? And scotch apparently always has notes of banana and pear? Well, I just opened up a banana and it smelled like scotch. I really thought I had spilled some for a second there. It was that intense.
If Evel Knievel were still around, I wonder how much it would cost to get him to jump the Grand Canyon between those breasts of hers.
Oh, how mean. Those fuckers laughing should all be shot. I've heard that an implant popping feels like a bomb going off in your tit. I don't know about that since mine are natural (for now) but I do know that such occurances always involve hospital stays. Ouch. So yeah, fuck those laughing assholes. I don't think all of those sniggering guys would think it was so funny if a bomb went off in one of their balls.
Yeah, but they never volunteered to put that bomb in their balls in the first place. This also brings up a broader point: every woman I have ever known, when asked about it, insists that getting a shot in the tits is infinitely worse than getting hit in the balls. Granted, I don't think anyone has ever really been in a position to compare the two, but allow me to explain: having your ability to reproduce destroyed is a strong an evolutionary selector as getting killed. This is why having your balls kicked hurts so god damned much: it is a serious evolutionary trait designed to protect your balls from as much damage as possible. To further this point, your testicles are retroperitoneal in origin; this means that their innervation and so forth comes from behind the peritoneal cavity. Now, your kidneys are fairly well protected behind fat and muscle; your balls, not so much. Getting kicked in the balls is pretty much like getting a good hard punch to a vital internal organ, only it's an organ that evolution has declared to be as important as your life. Also, internal organs really don't have much sensory innervation. They do start to hurt under ischemic conditions, though. So, a bomb exploding in your balls? That's a bomb exploding in your kidney, and it takes away your ability to have your own kids. Bomb in your tits? Neither of those. I freely grant that getting punched in the boobs apparently hurts a lot, but come on. You don't see girls collecting money and getting punched in the boobs for charity. NSFW This banana after-taste strongly reminds me of scotch. Jesus. It's like drinking booze without getting drunk. Half the fun is gone right there.
I must admit, I'm fucking addicted to that show. And that was Shavaun's only worthwhile contribution to this season, was popping her tit. People always think that I'm crazy when I say this, but Jack Daniels smells like bananas to me. A little bit. Check it out.
I just had a red dot complaining about the best christmas song ever. Reminded me that there's a possibility people haven't seen it yet. Enjoy.
*Sniff Sniff* Hmmm.... Evan Williams has the distinct aroma of a pleasant mixture that somewhat reminds me of a beautiful valley in the mountains populated only by chocolate covered unicorns with tits. .......... I think I may have another! That smell is delightful!
Bullcrap! Evan Williams is a goddamn drunken epicurean's delight! Seriously, if you could put a combination of heavenly ambrosia and tits in whiskey form, Evan Williams would be the result! And that's not even going into how awesome Old Charter is, but unfortunately they must have found out how awesome they are so they decided to start charging an additional $10 per half gallon. Once again, I SAY BULLCRAP! Not anymore! ZING!
I've never heard that. I have heard that vomit smells and tastes similar to the alcohol drank earlier though. (I would know nothing about that first hand, if it goes down it stays down. Usually.) I'm pretty sure if you sniffed fresh dog shit it would have a hint of Alpo and dead squirrel mixed with the aroma of your favorite shoes that went missing recently.
Seriously, dude? You've never heard about anyone sniffing a glass of wine and saying, "Hmm... hints of elderberry, and oak, and..."? Furthermore, scotch is not made from banana. I hope that's obvious, because your analogy to alpo and lost running shoes makes no sense in light of that. Now, if I had said that I just blended up some freshly culled peat and barley and said it smelled like scotch, you'd have a point. NSFW
When people smell my homemade wine they usually remark "Jesus fucking Christ! Did a duck shit in that bottle?" They've learned the smartest thing to do is just plug their nose and drink it. And then pray they don't die.
Ugh. My uncles do homemade wine. I remember last Christmas they were going on about how fantastic it was, when they had made it only four months earlier or so. And, of course, you'd drink it and it tasted like all of the silt in glacier water had been dissolved inside. This year's batch tasted ... well, like watered down grape juice.
Funny story, but this last Halloween I was at house party and chatted up a chick who happened to have just recently turned 21 and was given breast implants for her birthday (C Cup*). Being the super drunk smooth talker that I am I managed to talk her into letting me see them as the guy that was with her brought up showing them off to everyone else right after she got them. After moving to the dark driveway I managed to talk my way into cupping a feel with not just one, but both hands. I also complimented on her size choice for her almost anorexic frame and got her number. It was a fun night. *If I feel/remember correctly
Yeah, no one's ever laughed at a guy getting hit in the nuts before. It's not like they created a network television show that spanned decades based solely on that premise or anything... Oh wait.
if there's one thing I hear about girls with fake boobs, it's that they're pretty much guaranteed to be seen/felt publically on a regular basis. God love 'em. Maybe dcc should get breast implants. Maybe we'd see them.
I found a forgotten bottle recently and I'll never touch the stuff ever again. Yes, it got me severely fucked up, but it also gave me a headache that would kill a full grown moose. I suspect that it was more a mild poisoning. The shit I found in the bottom of that bottle looked like Satan had shit grapes and mixed it with oatmeal, sawdust, and mud. And yes, it did smell like a duck shit in the bottle.
How, exactly, do all of you rednecks know what duck shit in a bottle smells like? Is that some kind of delicacy in your parts?